Food Shopping Evolution

Well, the day has finally arrived: James is eating more food as he prepares to hit his main growth years. At age 12 (almost 13) he is reaching 5'6". He is still a picky eater, and his overall well being suffers when he does not eat.

Luckily, Costco has an answer for that: cheese pizzas that he asks for (4/$10 ... yay finally having an oven that works! So long, Little Caesar's!) and yogurt. I have bookend foods (dinner and breakfast) that fit in my budget!

Then there's Costco itself. I have James come with me. We get in walking time - yay, exercise. He also helps carry out to the car and returns the cart, if we take one. Of course he meets people he knows ("James! Hi!" from one of his yard duty buddies, while we wait in line).

I am starting to look at the clothes. James is now wearing mens' size 10.5 shoes and small in clothing. Pants are tricky, as he has the length, but is still in kid mode for bone size -- I can still get away with kids XL sizes there sometimes.

We have already determined that the underwear is a no-go (No briefs. What the heck is this new style in mens' underpants?). He does not like the socks or shoes. But jackets, shorts and pants? Those are distinct possibilities. And a bathrobe.

This Costco addition to our weekly shopping comes at a good time, in a way. The Trader Joe's nearest us (yes, our beloved Trader Joe's, where the Crew Members all know James and miss him if I shop without him) took a hit in the Tubbs Fire last month. The building still stands but the business next to it was completely destroyed and a lot of smoke and water damage resulted in the surrounding area. It's closed for probably the next year.

This means that we now have to shop 10-15 minutes further south, at the next Trader Joe's. This one is in a big retail complex that includes a Costco and Costco gas station. If we time our runs strategically, we can hit all 3 without too much craziness at checkout or the parking lot. James grumbles about having to go with me, because he has developed this weird phobia about plants (since August) and guess what Trader Joe's sells outside their entrance? Once inside, it's okay. We see a lot of our regular Crew Members, and I think that reassures all of us.

Raley's strangely enough, still has the best prices around for cat litter (for what I can easily haul up 16 stairs) and canned cat food. They also have a good emergency sized cat food in the brand they prefer. So I still shop there, either after I drop off James at school or on our way back from Boys and Girls Club. They also have the soft wheat bread that James likes, and the lunch ham that I can use for work lunches. Occasionally they will have a good deal on berries (for James' sister) or asparagus and Peets (for me). And come birthday time, this is where the kids get to pick out the frosting and decorations for their birthday cakes (they both still like making their own cakes from scratch with a Lazy Daisy recipe). I like Raley's a lot. I am glad it's still one of my regular retail stops.

Two new local shopping establishments are being added to our routine: Berry's Market and the True Value Hardware stores down the street from us. But that's another story ...

A Transcendental Day (& Night)

After 2 full days (and 3 nights) of James being sick and crying, I decided it probably wasn't the flu that was making him so sick. I called for a weekend appointment. Unfortunately, the earliest one was nearly 4 hours away.

Deciding to make the best of a rather crappy morning, I bundled up James and put him in the van, telling my husband that I'd take him for a drive until the appointment, so at least he and our daughter could get some rest. My head ached from lack of sleep, stress, and the prospect of several long, bleak hours to kill on the road with a sick, wailing child strapped in behind me.

And you know, instead I had a morning that I will remember for years to come. Absolutely amazing and gorgeous. The mist was slowly rising up off the vineyards, whose leaves ranged from light green to gold to flaming oranges and reds as they rolled over hills and filled the flatlands. The redwoods and evergreens were towering and dark green on either side of the road. The rising sun would cut in through the fog and light up dead moss and yellowing vines and leaves in the foreground. Despite worrying about James and being slowly driven mad by his toneless stimming, I enjoyed the heck out of all that beauty.

We stopped for a few minutes by the River, and I was able to take some photos. I held James for a bit in my arms, and we watched a commune of ducks as they flocked to food underneath a tree, quietly quacking to one another as they mingled and munched. We drove across the River on a beautiful little bridge and down a side street that was slowly being taken back by the redwoods. And darned if we didn't see ... a splatty witch, one of James' most favourite Halloween things ever.

Duck brunch.

On a bridge to Nowhere ...

Watch out for that tree!

We meandered down to Jenner and up the coast for a bit, then turned around and headed back inland to the med center. We arrived very early, and I used our steadfast double stroller to transport James. To keep him from driving the other patients in the waiting room mad, I strolled him gently up and down the corridors until our appointment came. Once installed on the exam room table, James' turned to exhaustion and he nearly fell asleep before the doctor arrived.

The on-call doctor was very kind and seemed to size up the autism and health situations with James very quickly, even though I am pretty sure he'd never seen him before. I was rather surprised to hear that James did not have the flu or tummy bug, rather the yammying was due to excess of phlegm, bronchitis, and the beginnings of infections in both ears. The doctor was very kind to me as well, saying that unfortunately, James had to kind of get to this point before he could be helped by antibiotics so I did well to bring him in today, rather than earlier or later.

So we got his antibiotics, pain reliever (suppositories, just in case), and albuterol inhaler and headed back to the van. As soon as James was loaded into his car seat, I gave him the antibiotics. Over the course of the afternoon at home, I was able to also administer the albuterol and some food (the doctor said he could even have dairy products). He rested on the sofa and I noticed he'd stopped moaning and doing the verbal stims. He told me that his throat had stopped hurting. He took a nice nap and took more food. Within half and hour of the food, he was sitting up and talking again. As I type this entry, he is singing along (in his own words)to a Baby Einstein video.

From my big purple armchair I salute Alexander Fleming, Edward Abraham, Clodomiro Picado Twight, and others who brought us antibiotics. The difference between James of this evening and this morning is literally like that of night and day. Between James feeling so much better and the unexpectedly transcendent morning, my day has undergone a transformation for the better as well.
 

Come Out And Play

New dilemma this morning -- make food for those headed off to school & work, or go out back and play per James' invitation?

Unfortunately, I chose the food prep. But I *wanted* to be outside! This is the first time James has gone out to play in the morning and come back to ask me with good words to come out and play.

I think I will make the food ahead tonight for tomorrow, in case he wants to play again.

Mothers' Day: Priceless

I am typing this from the backyard, listening to the birds twitter and call, smelling the approach of summer and retreat of this morning's fog, savouring my coffee (French roast from Trader Joe's and Peets' Anniversary Blend). I've just picked the first cherries off our tree and popped them in my mouth; they are delicious. Sometimes moments happen and some you just need to make yourself.

I am not a food bowl!!

The cat woke me shortly before 7, prowling for food and a playmate. I was so tired, I poured his kibbles on the nearest flat surface, a MagnaDoodle. My reprieve was short-lived. I heard James stirring, which was my signal to use the bathroom before he announced his waking state to the house and started a loud search for me.

I had been promised breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, my kitchen crew was still sleeping in and catching up on some much-needed rest (curse you, allergies!). I was hungry, so James and I hopped in the car and drove through the low-lying fog to Trader Joe's, where the flowers are gorgeous, the blueberry muffins plentiful, and prices are extraordinarily reasonable. First, though, I had to shut the cat in the garage, as he can't be trusted to not raid the garbage can.

We returned triumphant to a still-sleeping house. James graciously shared his muffins with me and I made coffee. Mmmmmm, liquid ambrosia!

I called my mom to wish her a happy Mothers' Day. We did our usual cell-phone shuffle and my cheek hung up on her once, but we connected. She is such an awesome mom. Every year I appreciate her more, and feel the least I can do is hand her some "Ah-HA!" moments of maternal payback when I talk about how my kids are doing. Kidding! Sometimes.

Meanwhile, coffee in one hand, cell phone in another, I am being presented with a DVD disc (dripping with hand cleaner) by James, who is urging me to clean it, because "it's dirty, Mommy." I finish my call and coffee prep, turn and find he has already inserted the dripping object into the DVD player and started to howl because "it's not woooorkinggggg!"

I whisk out the DVD, wipe it, and shut down the player and TV before telling James to NEVER put something wet into a machine. I explained we needed to let the DVD player dry out now and he had to find something else to do. He picked up the MagnaDoodle and dumped the kibble off it, while telling the cat he was bad, using his angry Dinosaur Voice.

Hello, chickens, so nice of you to return home. Like that roost, eh?

I took several deep breaths and directed James in the cleanup of said kibble. We then got to a more peaceful state by taking turns at playing Angry Birds Star Wars and "getting the piggies."

The Girl Child awoke somewhere around 9:15, disappointed that breakfast was behind me. She presented me with a slightly whacky plant and container from school, a Mothers' Day greeting sign taped to her back, a pink poodle & child diorama (complete with the note that "every mom [instead of 'dog'] has its day"), heart magnet, and a coupon for a free makeover (courtesy of Girl Child -- her manicures are divine).

She also presented me with a delightful concoction of her own design: apple cinnamon toast. It was so good with my coffee! Our daughter has a strong sense of whimsy -- she cut and arranged the apple slices into a smiley face on the toast. When I bit into it, we got the giggles, because now it resembled zombie toast.

My day is looking up.

Packing Lists ... the Shorter Version Rules!

Even though it means more travel time, I prefer to drive down to the LA area from the Bay Area. Honestly, I do not think James could wait successfully in the security lines, and all the noise and people would freak him out. I am sure that just as we made it to the head of the screening line, he'd bolt. Yeah,   I so don't ever want to test that paranoid fantasy ...

Also, I have more freedom to PACK. Airline weight restrictions aside, many items we used to entertain the kids (or keep them fed & clean) involved Prohibited items (milk, water, nail clippers, scissors, food). Besides, by the time we got to the airport, parked the van, took the shuttle to the terminal, got through security, and checked in, and flew into a SoCal airport (assuming the plane was not delayed a couple of hours or oversold) we'd be in Bakersfield or further south. Trumping everything else is the fact that James cannot stand random up & down motions and has extremely sensitive ears.

But back to the packing list. Clothes are the easy part. Food is pretty easy because our kids are picky eaters. I usually do the weekly shopping at Trader Joe's and shlep it with us and we're good for most meals. Equipment is my Waterloo. It's getting much better. I used to pack 2 bags per child for special toys/comfort items. Of course they were items used daily, so it had to be done at the last minute, while taking care of home chores for the week or so we'd be gone. Recipe for stress and cortisone overload: Bing!

Here's a sample of what we packed this time:
@ Daughter: conditioner, brush, sparkle hair spray, nail polish, tooth brush, paste, flossers, mouth wash, Chapstick/lip gloss, plug-in nite lite

@ Son: pull ups, Balmex (hands-down my fav to deal with any kind of rash), powder, wet wipes, tooth brush, nail clipper, tooth brush, paste, floss

We had some extras in there because we had tickets for Trick-or-Treating at Disneyland. When in Rome ... eh? The exciting part was that everything fit in 1 bag per child. If not for the costumes, it would have been 1 bag for both kids ...

Here's the bog difference for me, when considering logistics for the trip:
-------- ephemera ----------
• 2 books
• 1 sketch pad
• MagnaDoodle
• phone
• camera & download cable
• chargers for phone and camera
• scissors
• sewing kit
• old crib mattress & sheet
• picnic blanket
• double stroller

The first 8 items fit in one reuseable bag. The next 2 items we use for bunking James in hotels. This is because he rolls off the side of a bed easily, and once he whacked his head. We find a nice corner for him, put down the picnic blanket and then set him up with the crib mattress and his blankies, which he travels with. Sometimes we even use the picnic blanket if we're also stopping at the beach. It's heavy-duty, and lined with this vinyl on the underside. Strange as it seems, I still find use for the double stroller. It's like having a nanny with strong arms while spending 15 hour days at an amusement resort. James still likes to buckle himself in -- it seems to make him feel secure.

This is what we did not bring: box(es) of diapers, special feeding cups and plates, toys that run on batteries and make lots of noise when buttons are pushed, white noise machine, ice, beads on a wire, porta potty chair, booster seat, books that make noise when you push buttons, spinning toys, toy phones, stacking toys, teething toys, portacrib, excessive stuffed animals, or extra "lovey" pillows.

Vacation just got better!

Fear & Loathing and Potty Training

Let's see, what is you that you loathe the most? Or: how badly does Mommy need to get you to go? AKA: motivation with toys and food is for the other guys.

James hates getting his hair washed. Okay, "hate" is too passive a word. I can only say that the thing he hates even more that getting his hair washed is having to hear the hair dryer. Kick it up a few powers of ten and that's how much he hates to have his own hair blown dry.

Confessions of a very human parent: I have used this as a means of last resort when he has refused to pass BMs and potty training (and his well-being and my temper) is headed into ugly meltdown territory.

• Fact: James can hold onto this stuff for up to three days, and that's with added fiber (Miralax) and a suppository already added into the equation
• Fact: Starting Day 2 he gets cranky and by day 3 he can't settle down for anything, cries at meals, and is really, truly unhappy (and still refusing to poop)
• Fact: toys, books, and food will not motivate him to go

James' SHAPE assistant helped enormously by discovering that he'd still for a while on the toilet while playing a game on her iPhone. After about *20 minutes* he'd deliver the goods. Yay, so I ran right out and bought 2 $1 electronic, handheld video games at WalMart. Occasionally, he used his dad's iTouch. And all was serene for about month.

Then the motivation stopped working, and so did the potty training.

On day 3 of another standoff, at my wit's end, I told him (in as calm a voice as I could muster) to pass some BMs or he'd get a shower, with hair washing and hair dryer. He called my bluff and said "I want the bath tub". I turned on the taps and swung him off the toilet and over into the tub.
- "No!! I don't wanna!"
- "Okay, go poo-poo."

Back onto the toilet, and 3 seconds later, he had produced a magnificent specimen. Water went off and I gave him a hug and told him he'd done a great job.

This so goes against everything I've been told. Why do we keep going there?

I am happy to report that after a couple weeks of the shower/hair dryer ultimatum the BMs are getting easier for him to pass on a daily basis. He even does it on his own some days. Not every day, mind you.

Oh no. That would be too easy.

Sweetie, if you ever remember this period in time, please also remember that I love you very much and could not think of anything else.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: County Fair

Summer county fairs are so traditional. The Sonoma County Fair was a staple of my childhood. Every year my brother, cousins, and I looked forward to the day when we'd spend a magical afternoon at the fair, whirling on rides, eating corn dogs and cotton candy, and getting up close and personal with farm animals. Through it all, the summer sun soaked into our skins and and the smell of dry, baking hay filled our noses. The best relief came from the large and echoing Hall of Flowers.

It's so much fun to be able to share this with my own kids. They are all about rides, food , and fun. My daughter, however, is really interested in the animals; we'll be starting her in 4-H this fall. James loves all the people. I love the flowers and seeing traditions that have not had to be revived for the new food-to-table movements in our society.

Here are some photos from our day:

Sombrero and bright colours help me track him in a crowd.

Got calf?

Summer in Sonoma County!

Great horned owl, found and raised by humans.

A boy and his dreams.

Looks like fun!

Okay, this is new ...

Love this and want one for the garden.

A set in the Hall of Flowers.

Don't know what this is, but I like the colours.

For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday 

Not Eating ... Again

Another week of behaviour issues. Another week of being thankful James is at a school prepared to deal with them and James as a human being. The Staff and I are pretty much in agreement that James is not eating enough. Again.

Even as a baby, James had a half-hearted interest in food. It was almost as though he ate to be polite. Then stresses and sensitivities arose, complicated by periodic, horrific bouts of constipation ... and James decided to stop eating. BioFeedback was a blessing, and helped get him back on track.

I sound like a broken record, but the last two years have been incredibly stressful. James now takes a bite or two of his food item, then tosses it. He is growing like a weed. I have stocked snacks that he will eat that have as much protein as possible. I provide meals regardless of whether or not he admits to being hungry. And still, this persists.

To the people who say "they'll eat if they get hungry enough" - I once thought this too. Then I had to deal with people who have eating disorders and special needs.

We will be moving again. Hopefully it will be a more permanent and grounding move. We will get the nutritionist back on board and I hope to brainstorm successfully with the school and ABA to nudge James back into eating more healthily. The struggle is real. I remain hopeful that solutions will be too.

A Little Sniffling, A Lot of Shuffling

After an amazingly good stretch of health, James is down with a cold. Not too bad, but we can't run on a full schedule.

The last SF appointment has been rescheduled and there will be no social speech skills  after school program today. His behavioural observation had to be cancelled because he stayed home one day this week.

We are continuing the nutritionist appointment though, because he's still not out of the woods yet with this whole food in/food out thing. He is eating more of his formerly normal foods and we had two successes in the home bathroom so far this week.

James is also talking more and asking us questions. True, a lot center around when a desired DVD will arrive in the mail, as well as checking to make sure we know everything about said DVD, but sometimes now he will ask us "why?" because he really wants more information about things we are discussing.

All slow, good progress, despite what it does to our calendars.

Food Prep Pep

James has been upping his survival skills by learning to prepare some food for himself: toasting frozen waffles, assembling snacks for his lunch bag, and cooking his chicken nuggets.

This may not sound like much, but small starts are big things with us.

Over the winter break we even made and baked chocolate chip cookies from scratch because a friend with a bad cold sent out a distress call for cookies via social media and we thought "what the heck - why not?"

The cookies were weirdly shaped, but completely delicieux.

From the movie Ratatouille: (Gusteau) "You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul."

Cooking, autism ... it's your life - go for it!

Five 'til Midnight: Food in Review

I've been making photo albums and calendars and again was struck by all the changes and milestones that James has made. Here are some pictures that capture some of those moments.

Food. James and his sister are both picky eaters. We have not added a lot of new items to his menu, but he is changing how he eats them ... a bit!

James at breakfast -- he likes to share his Daddy's cereal. This morning, he is also "sharing" the money in Daddy's pocket!


Lunch. When at home lunch (and possibly dinner) look like this. We have lowered his special chair 2 (or is it 3?) levels this year, to accommodate his growth.


Popsickles. James loves them! He will shamelessly beg his Nana and Apu for them when he visits at their house. If James is sick, popsickles are often the only thing he'll want to try to eat.

Feast for the Soul

One thing I love about summer is that I can move meal times outdoors. It makes a nice break in routine and helps keep the house a little cleaner. This is also good for my sanity. I think the kids like the novelty. As long as we pack Their Foods, that is.

Our town in blessed with a Town Green and some dedicated merchants and council members. On Tuesday nights, we can watch a movie there for free. On Thursday afternoons into evening, there's a Farmers' Market and music concert. A few years ago, a Shakespeare festival began.

I take the kids to these events several times over the summer. Not as often as I'd like, but we'd stay in the house a lot more without them. We also feel good about supporting our local growers, restauranteurs, and other business people. We are supporting local food, green-friendly endeavors, and small-time artisans. We meet our neighbours, friends, and classmates in a different setting and just socialize.

Last weekend, on a whim, we packed a picnic dinner and parked the kids at the Town Green for some food and The Tempest. The kids were interested for a while before the production lost its allure. My husband and I took turns watching the kids have fun at the playground on the Green.

This year, James sat on a chair instead of rolling all over me and the picnic quilt. Such a big boy!

In Which Little Things Confound

So ... James has been eating less again. During a recent late afternoon treat out for frozen yogurt, he came across ... something in his frozen yogurt. I still don't know what it was, but he is now deeply distrustful of food.

Which makes him cranky, and prone to hanger.

Over the last two days, there have been episodes of throwing food over a fence, eloping, and a whopping loss of control.

James is trying, but school is again hard for him. We have also started ABA services the other three afternoons of the school week, so that is more stress.

I feel discouraged. How I wish we had had some of this help earlier. How I so wish I knew what to do.

Tonight, I just sat down in the hallway to listen to James. After a bit, he sat down too, by me. He kept talking, about past aides who made him mad. About how he doesn't mean to say bad words. How his brain was running around. He still said he was not hungry.

After an hour, I had to get to bed. I told him it was time for bed and that I loved him. I got him into his room. How in the heck is it so hard to get a tall, growing teen boy to eat? I hope we both feel better tomorrow.

Early Morning TJ Run

I tweaked out my back yesterday and passed on the weekly shopping. After some rest and a whole lotta aspirin, it's a bit better today. So when James popped awake this morning, ready to leap, shout, and cavort with the day, I got him a quick breakfast and asked him to get dressed. "Okay!" was  his happy response. What a great difference from the negotiative, prolonged process with his sister, who was happily still asleep and remained at home with her dad.

My buddy and I took off for the weekly grocery run, arriving at Trader Joe's shortly after their 8 A.M. opening. I don't just love Trader Joe's, I adore them. Their low prices, their healthy foods, their South Pacific-themed stores, and their awesome Crew Members are a big part of our Child-raising Village.

It's always a pleasure to do our shopping there - it's like a little vacay for me. I also appreciate that the stores have almost everything I need, yet are smaller than most grocery stores. The whole chain is child-friendly without being child-centric and there are stores at most of our vacation spots, which means my picky eaters can get their usual foods while on vacation with a minimum of fuss on my part. Their reuseable bags are fabulous for toting toys and beach/pool play items as well.

So here are some things we picked up, as per our usual list:

James loves these in the morning, and for snacks. I am happy because he is getting fruit & fiber.

Cat cookies and tortilla chips are crunchy treats for lunch and occasional snacks. They are low in sugar, high in fiber, and contain no artificial ingredients. They are also much less expensive than regular grocery store items too.

James is a pretty simple lunch guy: he loves PB&J;
there are no preservatives or high-fructose corn syrup in these jars!

No high-fructose corn syrup or hydrogentated oils, and $1.99. Compare that with items in any grocery store bakery section.
I still haven't found anything to beat this combo.

James has become quite the helper, which is a sweet relief, as he used to run away from me in the store, dodging my attempts to keep him with me. Now he asks to push the cart, and does a good job all through the store. Not only does he stay closer to me, I can pass him items from the shelf and he'll run them to the cart for me. All the while, my formerly non-verbal kiddo pours forth a bubbling stream of  consciousness: "Two milks? Okay. I get the pink one. Now I get one more ... I did it!!" "I love it! Do you love it?" and "Oh, CARrots! They're orange!" ... while I head for the food demo area and take another shot of caffeine, and a sample of fresh blueberries.

Most stores have a stuffed Animal Crew Member hidden somewhere in the store, and kids know that if they spot it, and tell the Crew Lead at the info desk where they found it, they will get a small treat. What a smart idea! James' sister has taught him well, and he after spotted Pogo the Panda in the freezer section, peeking out of a reuseable freezer bag, he whooped and ran off to collect his prize: a red sucker (his favourite).

As he chattered and danced around, the Crew Member checking us out shook her head, and said with a smile "I don't know how you do it." "Do what?" I asked, startled. "All the questions ... you're so patient."

Right about now, anyone who's known me for a while is ROTFLOL. And anyone who's heard some of my stories from my temp job days is hooting like an owl on Everclear.

"Ah, well, I guess I just grew into it," I replied. And internally I was thinking "Are you kidding? This is a GOOD day! I prayed that he'd be talking to me one day. That he'd be engaged enough to do normal kid things with me. I am so happy he LIKES being with me and can show it. I am the luckiest person here in this store!"

Food for thought, on my early morning grocery run. And as a special bonus parting gift, as James skipped over to help me out with the cart, the checker showed him their new scratch-and-sniff stickers and gave him some. Scratch-and-sniff stickers? All right!

When James saw this one, he stuck it on me right away, with a "Here, Mommy. This one's for YOU!"

I also got the cedar. He kept the pizza one.

Yep. It's going to be a good day.

Note: No one paid me to write this post. TJ's has been delighting my family and I for many years.

And ... Boom! It's Summer

Well, the last 2 months just flashed by. New crisises. New accomplishments. Heart aches. Transitions. And a truckload of paperwork, appointments, meetings, and IEPs.

Welcome to Summer 2015! Less worries on the childcare front, but plenty of stress to go around, none the less. Some summer programming. Some prepping for the school year to come.

• Summer school is back, and it's returned to 5 days a week, instead of 4 like last year. I am actually happy they are not doing the free breakfast or lunch, as (1) James did not eat the food and (2) it created so much noise in the outdoor eating area that he went to pieces. 
• We are going to try group swim lessons again with our local Parks and Rec -- I have really missed that summer tradition of me waiting poolside during the swim lessons. 
• I've also signed him up for at least one week of morning session of camp (Wacky Water Week) through Parks & Rec. This is the last year he can do this, so it's bitter sweet.
• Plus: Bike camp at Sonoma State University, through United Cerebral Palsy! James did a good job two years ago and hopefully this year will be just as great.

Meanwhile, things to work on: One is related to Behaviours. Namely, pulling down pants. James keeps doing it. We are all on him about it, trying to not browbeat him. We've pulled consequences, time outs, wearing belts -- it's not working. And the Behavourist our HMO assigned us? Worse than useless. Another exercise in extreme frustration and mental torture via email, paperwork, and endless intake sessions capped with "sees no need for behavioural intervention at this time."

The pants down activity is the latest in the saga of Can't Wear Jeans or Pants with Zips & Snaps, colliding with ongoing toileting issues. Huge win: regularity is the new norm! Not so great upshot: obsession with toileting and the bathroom. And pulling pants down.

I am looking forward to a break from the school grind. My work schedule has shifted, so that I am off by 2:30 in the afternoon. It feels like I am getting a summer vacation this year, 3 hours a work day!

Full Speed Ahead

We had one full schedule today! First we checked out a soccer game, then we joined ELI in it's third annual Wee Walk. It was foggy and cold for both morning events, so it took some encouragement to keep the kids moving and somewhat warm. James, for some reason, had to be chased down and wrestled into a jacket. Thank goodness it was bright red, because he followed his muse at the walkathon.

This event was held at a city park. Lots of vendors were there to promote their services, and they had lots of fascinating things at their tables for the little ones too. Both my kids' eyes got big when they saw the stickers, hand balls, gold fish snacks, and cute little bottles of water. I almost got them to try the jumpy. But then my daughter fussed that *I* had not brought her socks. I steered her to the sticker and beads play table instead.

James did at least four laps that I saw. I lost track after talking with the people from Red Cross and My Gym ... and then panicked when I didn't see him walking the little loop. The red jacket allowed me to quickly discover that he'd decided to take a break in some poor vendor's chair. Because he was in a snacky mood, he'd poured the goldfish treats into the cupholder and was taking his time, relaxing and munching.

The vendor was very nice and said he looked too cute to move. We ended up having a really good time (despite the cold weather) raising $35 to help support some great programs!

Then we had lunch and headed over to a local Air Show. We pulled over to the side of a rural road to watch the displays and have our ears treated to jet fighters roaring right over us. James took this aural assault much better than his sister did, to my surprise.

I think it's the F-15 ... but don't quote me!

While we watched the show, the fog melted and the day heated up. So we went to the gym and spent an hour in a largely empty pool. James asked me to tow him around so he could "kick-kick-kick-kick". He also amused himself for quite a while on the pool stairs, and enjoyed playing with me by having splash wars and jumping off the wall into my arms.

It was tough to get him into bed. He was so tired that he cried and yelled. He didn't want to wear pull ups. I felt bad, but really did not want to be woken up in the middle of the night to clean the bed if he had an accident. So help me, it's how I feel tonight. Once in bed, his sister brought him around with a rousing installment of Random TellyTubby Tales. They usually involve TubbyToast and/or TubbyCustard. They are great plot devices, in a food fight kind of way. Very soon after she wished him sweet dreams, his room grew quiet ... and he was down for the night.

SOOC Saturday: Gold Coins

How was your St. Patrick's Day? Ours was Very Green. We wore green, had a little green food (apples), and we hunted for gold on the Town Green.




James' sister's class was invited to participate in the town's first ever Gold Coin Hunt on the Windsor Town Green. As a sibling, James was able to attend. He mostly had fun running around the lawns with the other kids and testing his balance by walking on the low curbs around their edges. He was all about fun in the sun, being able to run about and yell freely, and not spending another day in the house sick with a cold.


His sister, however, struck gold ... in more ways than one:





We love the Town Green. We have had many picnics here on the lawns, played at the playground, and been fascinated with the fountains. We've enjoyed some of their Summer Music concerts (the kids love dancing to live music). We've wrapped up in blankets and watched movies there for free, under the stars.

The City of Windsor's Parks and Rec Dept. has many great programs that use the Green as well. James has enjoyed 2 summers of their preschool summer camp sessions. At first, I had to have an initial interview with the program and Park directors to make sure the programs and James would be a good fit.

They listened to me talk about James as a person and were happy to try having him, even though for the first year he could barely speak words and was still in pull ups. James quickly won over staff and co-campers, and he loved being able to go to camp and have fun new things to do with such fun and supportive people. After each session, his language and communication skills would take huge jumps forward. This is what inspired us to try having James try being in a mainstream program outside of his Special Day class.

So I guess that James too has struck gold on the Town Green!


The Slurping Life is ready for Spring. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.



  

Then, Later That Night ...

Bathroom meltdown horror.

James was refusing food again and could not sit still. Was acting up. So I had him use the bathroom. He knew if he could not produce on his own, he'd be getting an assist from the enema kit.

So he locked the door.

And got panicky and angry. Very vocally. And would not unlock the door.

I could tell his anxiety was on an uptrend and would not be stopping soon. And I was tired.

So I got out the screwdriver and took apart the door knob, because he refused to open the door.

Frenzied screams of anguish and terror happened for about 10 minutes. It felt like forever. He held his part of the door knob in his hand and waved it about furiously. He bellowed very teeneagerish things at me, punctuated with "I HATE you!" and "Sorry, sorry, sorry I yelled, Mother." There was rageful crying. And no poop.

He was trying to make it happen. It hurt *me* to see how much he was trying. All I could do was keep calm. I am going to try and forget all the specifics. In the end, he made 3 mighty efforts and produced a fine specimen.

We both hugged and almost cried with relief it was over, no lie. This time. For now.

The next day he was back to playing and eating. I went to work. I feel like having a little Foggy Morning Breakdown, but it aint' going to happen anytime soon. Onward.

P.S.: Steve: You're a genius. Arrow through the head sounds about right just now.

Special Exp./ Wordless Weds: Table Manners

See that napkin action? Nice!!

I had to get a picture of this: James, sitting calmly after dinner at a local restaurant. He had one bathroom break. He didn't slide off the seat to pool on the floor under the table. He didn't try to get out or poke at things on the table. James nibbled a new food. He coloured his kids' menu. He ate his ice cream with a spoon. And then used his napkin correctly.

I think of all the times we tried eating out as a family at the same location. We have not had such a quiet meal together dining out since he was little enough to be strapped into a high chair.


For more great images or to join in the fun, Visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.



and ... Wordless Wednesday