Parents ... Sound Familiar?

 After a super good week at school and afternoon ABA, when all was pretty darned much sunshine and budding roses, there came Counterbalance and negative behaviours. Sigh. Autism, Spring, Teen hormones, lack of a social squad, and impending graduation - all smooshed together in an active pressure cooker. 

This was me last week:

My guy is now 18. April is a good month to pause and reflect how far he has come, honour his resiliency through life crises I never had to deal with at his age, and gird up for the uncharted that is adulthood. Stay tuned.

Spot Cleaning of Behaviors Past

After a week of being sick, with the holidays and  both kids' birthdays bearing down on me, I have finally committed to cleaning the house and decking the halls, one bit at a time. Some are regular spots, like the fridge, counters and stove. Others, well, send me back a bit in time ... 

When we first moved in, it was after being evacuated for a week from both old and new places because of a huge wildfire. Shortly after, COVID-19 shut us all down. Remote learning in a new house that was cramped with unpacked moving boxes and a working-from-home Mom was the 4th chaotic school change for James in about a year, after almost 10 steady years in the same district. It crashed with a divorce, deaths in the family, and the absence of his sister. 

Behaviors started up that he'd never had before, and they progressed downhill and exploded. That period was so intense that I blocked a lot of it out. Attacking spots of milk, food, and tissue on the walls, furniture, and floors today reminded me forcefully that at some point I let got of trying to get everything cleaned up because he'd only do it again and again ... I had my hands full, and I was losing my mind.

These days, James' teeth have been fixed, he has been in the same school for almost 4 years and back in the classroom for almost a year and a half. Family relationships are slowly being rebuilt. Despite some churnover, ABA has been a staunch support and parter for us as well as the school. While there is still a lot of work ahead of us, we are back in the realm of much more sane and calm.

I cleaned those expletive deleted spots, and it felt good.

Advocacy Tools When Behaviors and IEPs Go Awry

 I came across a Disability Rights California post in my social media feed that I wish I'd had several years back. It talks about steps to take and offers tools to use if there are Behavior and Discipline problems with you child and the school. The letter format for requesting a copy of their Behavior Emergency Intervention Report and the Checklist of steps to take if you child has been suspended or restrained at school are excellent. 

When James was in 8th grade, at a new school, his IEP was not followed. He was set up to fail. For the first time ever, he was suspended. That principal did so many things that were both hurtful and illegal that the lawyer I hired, who preferred to peacefully negotiate, took umbrage. 

I can tell you that documentation, being able to create a clear (and provable) timeline of events, including letters and steps like those mentioned above, were vital to us getting our position heard and James receiving the best placement for his (current) school.

Do not be afraid to use these tools. You need them to advocate for your child or family member. You can even use the letter template to request other legal services to support your child, such as a request for outside assessment by a non-district Neuropsychologist. You can also use it as a template to ask questions or request an IEP meeting. It's also great to have just in case. Fantastic if you never need to use it, but so very, very handy if something crops (or creeps) up.

The Disability Rights California has a well-organized online center of information related to Special Education, as well as Resources and Programs for those with disabilities and those who advocate for them. 

House Rules, With ABA

 

Right now, ABA peeps are working with James for House Rules and Community Rules. James and I have been having some extremely rocky days recently and I realized I needed more help and called in his ABA Team. 

It sounds really funny, but we have never needed to officially spell out House Rules before.

I let James know that I asked for help with this, and that he'd be working on House Rules with ABA and me. I did this because James is worried about what people will think about him, and about what they might say about him. His automatic responses are usually "I did't do anything wrong" and "I didn't mean to" and (starting a couple years back) cussing like a sailor (thanks public schools, rant videos,  and lack of social opportunities). By letting him know this was coming, in a calm manner, I hoped for better engagement.

These Rules are the continuation of the "expected vs. unexpected behaviours" that we've been reviewing at school, home, and ABA. It pairs well with the recent work to use Friendly Words at school and in public (to curb swearing and inappropriate scripting). 

Discussing and defining these Rules, if/then scenarios, and rewards for following the Rules also touches on the Zones of Regulation. These Rules also affirm my recent work with James about setting and respecting privacy and boundaries.

In the course of writing this Blog post I came across this great page of resources from Autism Speaks: "Out in the Community". 

Feeling hopeful, and so glad I have some backup for this.

Skirmishes

James is an awesome person. He is typically easy going and is happiest when everyone around him is happy. He is smart and a sleeper, taking everything in and not showing it until he's ready. He has a fun, semi-goofy sense of humour. 

When he was younger, James would skip, jump, and run about - as a very young child he loved to dance about. Now that he's well into his teen years he's discovered the joys of sleeping in lounging his best life in his large, comfy bed. Hormones and hangriness occasionally change his mood and attitude. 

This weekend, I needed James to complete part of his daily routine and he refused. For several minutes, and without losing patience, I kept in his vicinity and repeating the request to complete the activity. James became more upset and made a ball with his fist at my eye level. When I put my hand up in a "stop" motion, he punched it. Not terribly hard, but still.  He also chose to swear at me. 

I explained that I was now removing the internet router, so no internet. I took it out into the garden with me. For several minutes I was breathing deeply, trying to calm down, review what could have been done differently, and listening to see if he would now attempt to open an outside door and elope. 

Eventually, James did come out to show me he'd completed the activity and to say he was sorry. "I didn't mean to, Mother," he said. I believe him, but this could have gone very differently for someone who did not know him as I do. 

I made sure he understood that I was not happy about his behavior and thanked him for completing his task and coming to talk with me. Then I made sure he had a good lunch to eat. The day went much better after that.

Behaviors And Safety

 After over a week of great days at school, today happened. My first tipoff was a very quiet greeting from the normally jovial bus crew. "Today was really rough," the driver said. The aide nodded. Both were sympathetic, but somber. James was antsy, denying he did anything wrong while swearing, sotto voce.

He got off the bus and made it inside pretty well, though. I asked how his day went. "Okay" was the answer. I knew school notes would not show up online until after 3 so I encouraged a snack and down time. Then came the info from the school - eloping, unkind language, and physical acting out. 

I tried discussing these behaviors with James  - he said he could not stand the noise. Pretty sure there's other stuff too but (1) communication challenges and (2) he is 17. Reinforced that he is liked by the people at school and I care about him but that these behaviors can hurt other people and they are not okay. 

I tried talking and listening off and on throughout the afternoon. I let him know that I was turning off the internet so we could both be calm. Apology letters were written. He ended up going to bed early. I know there will be follow up at school. He has lost privileges for the week.

So Close ... or, Eloping

James had been having a stellar week, impressing school staff with his classwork, follow through with hygiene, and participation in the dreaded PE. He charmed the afternoon bus crew and earned praise from his afternoon ABA Team. 

Then this afternoon, on a late lunch break after a morning of computer and paperwork - a phone call from school. I know many of you have been there with me: my heart sank and my head drooped as I answered.

The good news is that everyone is okay.

However ...

In the middle of working on his PE laps, James veered off course and found a new hole in the school perimeter for a significant and random feat of eloping.

Unless you've lived this, I'll bet this sounds pretty harmless. Trust me, it's not. It impacts what James can and cannot do - it's restrictive. It means I am sometimes listening for elopement attempts at home, 24/7. Field trips and several programs are off limits for him. It is dangerous - for traffic, stranger danger, and especially for James.

It is often this way - stretches of great work and progress, followed by a hard check and possible reversion. Time now to breathe through it, then look for the reason for the event and processing of what happened and how to better handle a situation like this next time. Because the next time is always coming.

ABA - Why It's Needed

I am taking a break from paperwork and spring cleaning in my bedroom den, sitting in my armchair and listening to James and his behaviour interventionist (BI) make a schedule for their time this afternoon and following through. It's a deceptively easy blend of hygiene tasks, games, and breaks. 

I love it best when I hear them playing a game, because James wants to be socializing with others and this is a great, gentle way to give him practice for that. 

Over the past couple of years, James has stopped wanting to sing, play card or board games, or read together with me. It's hard to get him to watch TV with me. Most of our bonding time is in cars or taking public transportation (trains and metro transit for fun). I get it. He needs his own friends, his own people.

What is ABA?

Applied Behavioual Analysis (ABA) helps us both by reinforcing the importance of hygiene, game playing, and socializing. Communicating and planning (intention) are worked on as well. 

Why I think ABA Works for Us

Behaviours
I see ABA as important because for someone like James, who has communication challenges, is smart, and prefers to avoid activities not of his choosing ... behaviours have become his communication when words fail. Eloping, swearing, or inappropriate scripting ... ripping paper, destroying his DVDs and old CD ROMs, throwing things out his window. 

When James is stressed, he exhibits more behaviours. After COVID-19 quarantine started, we had spitting on the floor, paper in the mouth, wall hitting, head banging, and yelling - capped off with intense 2-hour meltdowns in which I was on high alert to keep James in the house, safe, and offered calm encouragement to breathe. He shut down on hygiene and participating in remote learning. He grew inches and entered puberty with a vengeance. He regressed on top of his previous regression. He started to exhibit extreme OCD and was almost impossible to transition anywhere in the house, let alone to the car or to an appointment at an office.

In-Home Support
Having ABA in the home (as soon as it became available) was a real life saver. The BI could be with James for remote learning, support hygiene, offer a safe and social connection. What a relief to have a team to break up the monotony of Just Mom. It also allowed me to keep working from home. I bought an air purifier and lots of antibacterial wipes. The ABA team all wore face masks.

Understanding Why and Setting Goals for the Client
The behaviours were analyzed by the ABA team to determine why they happened. A plan was crafted to redirect and support healthier self care, rebuild communication, and provide tools to help move us both forward when we got stuck.  Goals were set so progress could be reported and any new behaviours could be addressed as soon as they were noticed. 

The goals were aligned with what I advocated - James is a social guy who is curious about and likes people. He gets a lot of positive experiences by being able to interact with people and is almost giddy when he can communicate and create connections with others. He likes periodic contact on FaceBook and is happy to text and call people on the phone. All of his current ABA goals support that (as well as many of his IEP goals at school). He will need all these skills and tools after I am no longer here.

I know there are those in the autism community who feel the focus should not be on fitting into the neurotypical world, and I say good for them. Autism is a really unique condition. I would hope that any ABA program will align with the goals of the client, or those who understand and advocate for them as needed. I hope that there will be greater understanding by the general public and organizations for those who are differently abled. There really is a lot to discover.

Perspective, The Importance Of

Perspective. 

Autism has a way of expanding horizons and showing us there are multiple ways of looking at things.

There are multiple ways of communicating. 

There are multiple ways of being, experiencing joy, love, and contentment.

It helps me to keep this in mind, when I get frustrated with managing a life that includes Autism.

Here's to changing the world, one thought at a time.

Countdown To Moving

So, after divorce, home sharing, downsizing, home selling, displacement by a devastating firestorm that wiped out 5% (over 5,600 homes) of the housing market and drove an price increase frenzy in home sales and rentals that is still playing out 2 years later ... we have found a place to call our own and are in (dare I say it) the home stretch. Literally.

James has been asking to move over the past year. I try to communicate the home buying and moving process to him, but what he understands is "move = now move". Wouldn't it be great if we had a kind of moving advent calendar, where every day you can open a door and see today's task that gets you closer to moving? I think that would help both James and myself.

Seems like every time I turn around, there are requests for more paper, some of which can only be released if I can find the magic someone to release other papers that will allow the process of getting the definitive papers prepped for release. I swear on the heads of angels, that if I did not already have years of experience with IEPs and hounding out resources to support my kids and hunting the people responsible for sanctioning them over the phone and emails, I'd be over in a corner curled up, eyes closed, and extremely depressed.

James has picked up on this, and there are behaviours at school. Some of them similar to bad days last year. The outcomes are different, because of the new school and the people who work there. "It's going to be okay. We'll work together on this" are the messages I am getting. From both the school and my loan manager.

Is it November yet?

Here, I found this interesting video online while searching for a "moving advent calendar"

Get Back Up Again

Thursday morning, James was a shaky wreck. We missed the bus. He could not focus to eat breakfast. James usually pops on his clothes, including shoes and socks in about 5-10 minutes. After an hour of waiting while he was "getting ready", I went and got him (which made things more fraught). He was close to a full-on panic attack when I pulled into the school parking lot. I remained calm and walked him to the office, where I explained in a low, calm voice what was happening.

"Thanks for letting us know," I was told. "We've got this." The woman was speaking as calmly as I was. Her eyes serious. She got it. I love this school.

No calls or texts, the whole day through, even though I had my cell phone out on my desktop, expecting them at any minute (because this happened repeatedly over this past school year). James took the bus home, and arrived in good spirits. He took being swooped up, as soon as I got home, to ABA at a nearby park in stride. Although there was no actual ABA services (there was a time misunderstanding) we hung out at the park for a bit, and said hello to some of his favourite counselors at the Boys and Girls Club.

We picked up pizza and went to go look for deer at Deer Hill North. We hit the deer motherlode: eight deer in assorted locations, ranging from the sweetest little spotted faun to full grown males with great, velvety antlers.

Home again we went. James settled down and ate some pizza and drank milk. Then parked himself alongside a gallon of vanilla ice cream. Normally I don't condone this, but this guy needs to put calories on his bones.

I read the daily notes from his teacher. James took more breaks for quiet time than usual and only had one point in the day where behaviours broke out. Otherwise, he participated. Such a difference: I was getting reports about his day on relevant topics. James went to school extremely agitated and returned calm. No undertone complaints about the staff or school (although there was some of the usual litany about past people that are associated with bad memories).

As I sat in the armchair in the living room, he began to chat pleasantly. Eventually, he asked about the Dad in Matilda. I picked up the book we'd checked out of the library last weekend and said "Hey, let's see what the author says about him."

After noisily resisting any reading whatsoever for over a year (broke my heart - I love reading), James listened to me while I read to him. I was hugging myself on the inside.

Two chapters later, my eyes were wanting to snap shut. I apologised and said I had to turn in, but we could read more tomorrow. "Okay, Mother," he agreed, and strolled off down the hall to bed.

I went to bed grateful and thankful. We were back up again.

One Giant Victory, Whole Lotta Meltdown

Ever since Winter Break of James' seventh grade, his school situation has gone from okay to bad, to awful to bring in a lawyer. I have been fighting and advocating extra hard for him for over a year. To have him do actual school work, instead of colouring book pages (no lie). For his teacher to show up to class so the aides did not have to try and make lesson plans. Actual speech therapy instead of lip service lessons. For his new aide to be an aide, instead of a babysitter. Inclusion in school field trips and back to school night (complete FAIL on that last one and the teacher showing up, BTW).

The new school district found the "best" school failing to comply with his IEP - no consistent aide for him at the new campus, no quiet places ... basically no accommodations at all for his 8th grade year. The principal zeroed in on him around and demanded in the first IEP meeting to have my son declared vicious and a danger to others. And that was with my lawyer sitting right there. To use current jargon, we couldn't even. All this while I was also dealing with the death of one close family member and another battling surprise stage 4 cancer, which not only impacted myself, but both my kids.

For James, I have been on a Mission to get him into a better school. The lawyer and I found one. It's a private school. After a saga of I Can't Even, the district offered placement there. Yowza!

Five programs. two school districts, and a private school later, James has finally landed in a program that is nurturing, supportive, and bursting with resources to help him be successful.

He lasted approximately 1.5 days of summer program before launching into testing behaviours. Throw in ABA services after dinner and starting at the same time as summer school, a week into recovery from two tooth extractions under sedation, and a being caught in a frigging ROCK FIGHT at our apartment complex ... and James wound up the week with Incidents on a school field trip: eloping into a road, trying to climb onto train tracks (miniature, and the train was not running), and hiding in the bathroom, not making good language choices.

Thanks, Autism Dad! 

These are the times I can't even cry. I just want to beat my head against the wall and repeat "no-no-no-no!!!" Until I can't think anymore. But I can't, because I have to finish work. Then be calm as I pick James up and talk with his teacher and deal with the meltdown stimming. All weekend long.

Laundry time exploded into swearing, plastic water bottle vengeance crushing, yelling sessions in the closet, screaming in the bathroom (with the fan on, like I would not notice), and, four hours later, clean laundry and many "sorry-sorry-sorry Mother"s.

But there were also fun trips to the Farmer's Market, seeing James enjoy spending his allowance at the Dollar Store, seeing people I don't know at the apartment complex smile at James and greet him with "Hi, James!" The good people who are always there somewhere in the public school arena. The calmness and positive attitudes at the new school. The lovely drive together to go look at the deer (fauns!) and vineyards.

And this week? Better. And so it goes.

Signal Output Divergence

My father passed away less than two days ago. Even though it was peaceful and anticipated, it was emotional. While I was at his home, I had James stay here with a friend. When I returned from being with my mother and family, I was exhausted and wrung out.

James focused on getting computer time and complained after I had him stop after an hour. He paced to and fro, argued almost every statement I made, and muttered under his breath over and over how upset he was and how mean I was.

I told him he needed to be nicer to me, because my father just died and I was sad and upset. Also, we were going to bed early. He fought that too.

James sometimes has trouble talking about anxiety, sadness, or loneliness. These emotions tend to come out as agitation and behaviours.

I know he understands that I am feeling sad. There is a great big "now what?" disconnect between knowing this and being able to express sympathy or compassion in a recognizable way.

Slamming Into Summer

So seventh grade ended up badly. That's all I will say in this post. Suffice to say that come August James will be in a new school and new school district. Meanwhile, I am getting used to Teen James, who is now almost 5' 10" at 13 & 5 months. Still a picky eater, so he is a handsome beanpole. He no longer calls out "Help me! HELP Me!!!!" when I wash his hair, but hygiene is still a struggle. He's learned to do his own laundry at a coin-op facility and is learning to rule the vacuum cleaner. As for myself... after dealing with all the schtuff I don't post about explicitly online for way too many years, I am tired.

Meanwhile, this happens to be THE Best summer school he has had in well over over four years. First the classes are at the high school campus, away from the noise and confusion of the previous location (six years running). Second, the teacher is giving them all life skills: cooking, taking the bus,  filling out a job application, and buying things in the store ... what is not to love? Third, he likes the older kids and the teacher.

I am wrangling summer reading on the side.

Still dealing with way too much spitting and use of tissue and toilet paper. Also clogging toilets when upset about things. Trying to get ABA going. Still working full time. Still dealing with end of life and major health issues in my family. Still calling and writing those nuts in DC about how I feel about our current status for education, healthcare, and immigration. And that damned tax bill.

Thank goodness for good friends, good books, and Marvel movies!

And so it goes.

Homework Aikido

Every now and then the homework push overshadows the actual assignments. As a single parent, even the easy assignments James has can be difficult to make time for. James is also recovering from the flu and the persistent head cold that followed. The heat poured back on this afternoon, flirting with breaking 100°. The homework ch'i was wan and lacking. There was stimming and whining.

Time for a change.

I had James pack his backpack. I planned to go to the gym, with its nice lighting, air conditioning, and change of atmosphere, but completely forgot the after work crush that mobs the parking lot. No problem, just down the road was my ace in the hole: the airport:

We knocked off the spelling assignments and most of the read and answer sheets. Helicopters lifted off, passengers deplaned right onto the tarmac near us, and small planes took off into the softening blue sky. James really wanted to go back to the gym, so that is where we finished the last few assignments and then sat out near the pool, feeling the cooling breezes while the sun went down and lit the clouds a la Maxfield Parish.

We came home full of accomplishment and a much better attitude.

Chores on a Summer Schedule

With summer and increased time at home during the day, I am ramping up again with Chores. James has a few standard chores to help keep the home running. I've come up with lists but they tend to fade out of use after a while. Plus every time our schedules change, chores change. It sounds trivial, but it's not when therapy sessions and special routines to accomplish what many do without thinking means changes often result in Stratego/Jenga like juggling sessions. Things tend to get left off now and then.

I started with simple cards that could be put into pockets when the chore was done, as this mirrored what was done in their classrooms. I periodically surf the web and Pinterest, looking for additional ideas. Currently I think we are in synch with this Daily/Weekly Chores chart, and the blog post that accompanies it is very useful as well.

Image of downloadable chart courtesy of Living Well Spending Less.

This week James is also going back to earning iPad time for making bad behavioural choices (our current GoAnimate and pants-pulling issues). I had him help me pick the plums in our back yard, both our of the lawn and storing the ones I picked into a basket. He has a hard time staying outside because of the flying insects, but we continue to expose him to various outside sensory issues, hoping that repetition will help ease the anxiety. And, I did need help!

About half an hour's picking. And no bad behaviours happened.

What do you use to help keep chores on track?

And ... Boom! It's Summer

Well, the last 2 months just flashed by. New crisises. New accomplishments. Heart aches. Transitions. And a truckload of paperwork, appointments, meetings, and IEPs.

Welcome to Summer 2015! Less worries on the childcare front, but plenty of stress to go around, none the less. Some summer programming. Some prepping for the school year to come.

• Summer school is back, and it's returned to 5 days a week, instead of 4 like last year. I am actually happy they are not doing the free breakfast or lunch, as (1) James did not eat the food and (2) it created so much noise in the outdoor eating area that he went to pieces. 
• We are going to try group swim lessons again with our local Parks and Rec -- I have really missed that summer tradition of me waiting poolside during the swim lessons. 
• I've also signed him up for at least one week of morning session of camp (Wacky Water Week) through Parks & Rec. This is the last year he can do this, so it's bitter sweet.
• Plus: Bike camp at Sonoma State University, through United Cerebral Palsy! James did a good job two years ago and hopefully this year will be just as great.

Meanwhile, things to work on: One is related to Behaviours. Namely, pulling down pants. James keeps doing it. We are all on him about it, trying to not browbeat him. We've pulled consequences, time outs, wearing belts -- it's not working. And the Behavourist our HMO assigned us? Worse than useless. Another exercise in extreme frustration and mental torture via email, paperwork, and endless intake sessions capped with "sees no need for behavioural intervention at this time."

The pants down activity is the latest in the saga of Can't Wear Jeans or Pants with Zips & Snaps, colliding with ongoing toileting issues. Huge win: regularity is the new norm! Not so great upshot: obsession with toileting and the bathroom. And pulling pants down.

I am looking forward to a break from the school grind. My work schedule has shifted, so that I am off by 2:30 in the afternoon. It feels like I am getting a summer vacation this year, 3 hours a work day!

More Testing, More Reinforcement

GoAnimate has become the bane of my parental existence. I am not even going to link to it. James has been watching productions of Caillou, Dora, and other benign cartoons that have been spiced up with police action, arrests, and swear words. All of which he gleefully scripts at totally inappropriate times. The breaking point came when he used the swear words during a parental disagreement and then tried to physically get into it, the way the GoAnimate cartoons do.

Result: Time out for rest of evening, no iPad for over a week, and a letter of apology. Plus, several billion conversations around "Why can't I GoAnimate? Where is my iPad? When d I get my iPad? Do they (GoAnimate) not use bad words? Why? What are bad words? Why are they bad? Where is my iPad? Do I get it back? Today?"

Things were elsewise going fairly well ... until I checked on James this morning to find he's using his old white Mac laptop to watch GoAnimate. Guess what else he is going to have to do without for a while?

He is back to watching his DVDs and I am trying to up his writing and unplugged activities. This is working right now, but in another couple years I am sure it's going to be a whole other ball game.

Inside Resistance to the Outside

Spring is definitely in the air, as of this week. For days I have been indoors at work, occasionally dreaming of outdoor places I'd like to be.

Today was another sunny and warm day. After the morning grocery run and making breakfast and scones, I gathered my sketching things and had the kids pile in the car. Off we went to Preston Vineyards!

At first, James was just bit whiny. He has been off his iPad for going on three days and he is not fond of heat and bright light, but those are lesser evils when compared to a neighbourhood of lawn mowers.

I love Preston because of its peace, old-world charm, and cats. They also have a very nice red wine and bake amazing bread. They hang Polaroids of their chickens in their on-site grocery store, so you can see which chicken laid your eggs. Their organic olive oil is amazing. The grounds also begged to be explored and discovered.

I wandered, bought bread (still warm from the oven), and took pictures. I even sketched. My daughter drifted after the cats and pursued them slowly throughout the gardens. James draped himself over a table and started to complain. It was hot for him. He was bored. I called him over to see if I couldn't help turn it around for him.

James whined even more. "I want to go home. I need new underwear!" I had him sit with me in the shade, in a quiet spot. I talked about exploring. We used our five senses together. I almost got him exploring ... and then he crashed and howled, tugging at his pants in a fashion that would do a plumber proud. Well, I tried. And we did spend some time outside in this glorious weather.

End Run Around Behaviours

Yesterday I had a conversation with James' adaptive PE teacher. He's been resisting classes and this week he went beyond resistant into very bad behaviour territory. Three Letters of Apology have been written. Talks at Home have been had. No iPad. He's really hated that last one. I even tried asking James why he'd done what he did. His answer "I don't like it."

James is weak from having lost so much weight since August. He also knows how to use distracting behaviours to get out of disliked activities. Gah.

At times like this, it seems more effective to do an end run around the situation, once Consequences are over with. Because let's face it - having once been so effective at getting out of what he didn't want to do, he's likely to try it again. If he does, Consequences (losing iPad privileges, Talks at Home, Letters of Apology). However, I think we would all rather be doing something more positive, and there's more than one way to get something done.

So we are going to try adding music and some dance into his adaptive PE. He is always doing these activities at home and seems to enjoy them. Then slowly he can be doing more work toward his IEP goal of being able to do jump rope. Hopefully it will help James see that his sessions can be fun too, and he will stop trying to fight them.

We are so lucky to have such a great partner with James Adaptive PE teacher. She truly loves what she's doing and cares about the kids. Here's hoping this strategy works.