One Giant Victory, Whole Lotta Meltdown

Ever since Winter Break of James' seventh grade, his school situation has gone from okay to bad, to awful to bring in a lawyer. I have been fighting and advocating extra hard for him for over a year. To have him do actual school work, instead of colouring book pages (no lie). For his teacher to show up to class so the aides did not have to try and make lesson plans. Actual speech therapy instead of lip service lessons. For his new aide to be an aide, instead of a babysitter. Inclusion in school field trips and back to school night (complete FAIL on that last one and the teacher showing up, BTW).

The new school district found the "best" school failing to comply with his IEP - no consistent aide for him at the new campus, no quiet places ... basically no accommodations at all for his 8th grade year. The principal zeroed in on him around and demanded in the first IEP meeting to have my son declared vicious and a danger to others. And that was with my lawyer sitting right there. To use current jargon, we couldn't even. All this while I was also dealing with the death of one close family member and another battling surprise stage 4 cancer, which not only impacted myself, but both my kids.

For James, I have been on a Mission to get him into a better school. The lawyer and I found one. It's a private school. After a saga of I Can't Even, the district offered placement there. Yowza!

Five programs. two school districts, and a private school later, James has finally landed in a program that is nurturing, supportive, and bursting with resources to help him be successful.

He lasted approximately 1.5 days of summer program before launching into testing behaviours. Throw in ABA services after dinner and starting at the same time as summer school, a week into recovery from two tooth extractions under sedation, and a being caught in a frigging ROCK FIGHT at our apartment complex ... and James wound up the week with Incidents on a school field trip: eloping into a road, trying to climb onto train tracks (miniature, and the train was not running), and hiding in the bathroom, not making good language choices.

Thanks, Autism Dad! 

These are the times I can't even cry. I just want to beat my head against the wall and repeat "no-no-no-no!!!" Until I can't think anymore. But I can't, because I have to finish work. Then be calm as I pick James up and talk with his teacher and deal with the meltdown stimming. All weekend long.

Laundry time exploded into swearing, plastic water bottle vengeance crushing, yelling sessions in the closet, screaming in the bathroom (with the fan on, like I would not notice), and, four hours later, clean laundry and many "sorry-sorry-sorry Mother"s.

But there were also fun trips to the Farmer's Market, seeing James enjoy spending his allowance at the Dollar Store, seeing people I don't know at the apartment complex smile at James and greet him with "Hi, James!" The good people who are always there somewhere in the public school arena. The calmness and positive attitudes at the new school. The lovely drive together to go look at the deer (fauns!) and vineyards.

And this week? Better. And so it goes.

Magic Marker Monday: Magnificent

Last week, James showed off some new, subtle skills during a craft project. He held his marker correctly, and knew what he wanted to do with it. Both of these things are new for me to see him do.

In honour of Mothers' Day week, the letter they  were learning was "M". Of course they got to colour it with markers. James felt the green one would be great. The only thing I did was help him pop off the cap. He looked excited to start the project, instead of his usual dreamy/thoughtful "don't really care" look.

And instead of wild circles that roared off the paper onto the table top or a hailstorm of frenetic dots, James decided to have fun tracing his hand. All by himself.

He enjoyed playing with what kind of lines he could make, and he tried to stay inside of the M outlines. Again, this is new stuff for him.

 

Marker tattoo lines? Cooooool!

As for me, I got a whole bunch of Mothers' Day presents early by just watching him that morning. Way to go, Buddy!

PS: We have exactly the same kind of hands. Comes from my father. How amazing is that? (Hint: very; can't tell you why)


Visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.




  

SOOC: Invisible Victories

Looks simple, doesn't it? A kid eating ice cream. But it's really several victories.

• James is sitting down in a chair at an outdoor restaurant and *staying seated*
• James is using a spoon properly and on his own. This is huge. He used to not be able to grasp a spoon properly. Often times he'd lose control of his wrist, and the spoon and its contents would flop upside down.
• He's trying something new. That's not ice cream, it's a Dole Whip, and he wants to eat the whole thing! Both my kids are picky eaters, and I love it when they discover something new to love to eat.
• James is talking, telling me it's yummy

I see things differently since we started on this journey with James. I stop and look more. There is so much to see.

Slurping Life is on vacation this week. Happy Easter weekend wishes to you all.

Show and Tell

James had a great morning at the new preschool today. Fridays are show and tell days and today he brought his first thing to "show and tell." The letter for the week was "A" and James adores airplanes. Therefore, bringing a toy plane seemed like a great way for him to make a start.

We practiced a bit what he could say and how he could talk about an airplane. James must have a zillion thoughts and observations about those suckers, but it's so hard for him to verbalize what's going on inside his head.

So when his SHAPE assistant later told me that James stood up and shared his airplane with no problems or anxiety, I did a Kuzco* victory dance, on the inside. I am so proud of him and delighted that he is doing so well with this new school and program!

* Kuzco: Woo-yeah! Look at me and my bad self! I snatched you right out of the air! "Ooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall, and I'm taking you with me." Well, not today, pal! Uh-huh! Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!

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