ABA again today. They are talking about creating a video on YouTube. It's going to be a music countdown of his favourite songs.

James is giving him all American folk music songs: Polly Wolly Doodle, Shoo Fly Don't Bother Me, and Clementine. I love the fact that he is naming these songs.

I know they are not age-appropriate. Most 14 year olds want to seem as cool and mature as possible.

James is still grooving to his favourite songs, however. He is humming them as he makes himself some frozen waffle snacks. I love hearing him do this.

ESY Wrap

The Extended School Year (ESY), or summer school, as we old-timers knew it, finished up last Friday. It was supposed to be a fun carnival day. Supposed to be. Not so much for James. I am guessing the noise made him ... well, cranky.

For myself, I was looking forward to an unexpected day off from work by taking care of some household chores, going to the gym, and visiting a local winery. You know, like a grown up in the wine country during the summer. I headed off some stress by taking James to school. I could tell it was probably not going to be the best day but crossed my fingers, like most autism parents do.

I nailed the chores (putting laundry away, cleaning bathrooms and the kitchen in blissful solitude) and got in my swimming workout. I hesitated about going back home for lunch but kept to my daydream of visiting a local winery.

So I headed north on a beautiful day. Preston Farm and Winery did not disappoint. I sat down at a little cafe table under the trees, closed my eyes, and listed to the wind whisper the leaves of the overhead trees and the visiting families. And breathed. And relaxed. The garden was glorious.

I took a windy little country road back, windows rolled down (which I cannot do with James in the car) and... happy. Completely, in-the-moment happy.

Which is good, because as I pulled into the parking lot of my complex, the phone rang. The school was so sorry to bother me, but James had eloped into the nearby performance venue's upper bathrooms and was not coming out. Might I be available to pick him up early. "I'm on my way," I replied, turning the car back out to the road. I know this drill. At least I had a great morning.

"One moment," I was told. Hold music ensued for a couple of minutes. I kept driving. Thank goodness we live close by, I was thinking.

Then something different happened. The office had checked with James' teacher, and they thought they could get him back to the classroom by themselves. They actually preferred to try that. I asked if I could just come early and wait in the office. Sure thing, they replied.

When I arrived, everyone was calm. I got to talking with another mom, who asked me some friendly, relaxed getting to know you questions. She assured me that all the parents have their stories of how they struggled to get their kids into this new school. She shared how this was the best place for her child and that "everyone here will tell you the same thing." As she headed out to pick up her son, she waved and said she was looking forward to getting to know each other next year.

I cannot remember the last time something like this happened. It felt really good, after I got over being a little stunned.

James was in a testing mood: paper stuck in his mouth, rambling all over the office, and walking outside the office and looking in the window at me right after I asked him to stay in the office so I could chat with his teacher. His teacher still radiated positive energy and described the elopement and how they got him back (by letting him spot them, turning and walking slowly away. Stopping, repeating, until he was back in the classroom).

She said overall she could tell the day was hard and she appreciated him trying to participate before eloping. She said she was looking forward to having him in her class next year and hoped we'd have a good summer. She did an amazing job of letting me know what happened while making me feel it was just part of a regular day. I feel like she really understood - the behaviours, and most importantly, James. It was such a different experience from public school. Even when they people were nice, I left with James feeling tense, like we were constantly being caught out wrong.

"Did you get the invite?" she asked. No? Evidently, one of James' new classmates had parents who were throwing a pool party to celebrate summer. The teacher emailed me the invite. James was invited to a party by a classmate. The closest we'd ever experienced was when his second grade teacher had her end of the year party for everyone in her backyard.

This new school is feeling pretty damned good already. Feeling really grateful. And a part of something good.

ABA While on Vacay

We took a brief break from Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) the last few days of school. I spent about as much time calming down James afterward as he spent doing ABA. It was not worth the crying and further reduction in eating. Plus, I was getting no sleep and James was not happy next day at school.

Now, however, it is summer, and James can start back up again. We are back at our local Starbucks, because it has WiFi (which allows for the iPad to be used for his checklist and reward games of Angry Birds) and gets him out of the house (so he is not in his room all day or feels like he's being cornered in his own home).

There are some nice conversations going on right now, while James periodically gets up and wanders about. I am really hoping James settles down, over the course of a the next few weeks, and starts working on some of the self care and organizational goals.

In case you are wondering, here is a nice article that talks about ABA services and how they can be helpful to an individual who is autistic and their caregivers (usually family members).

I like being able to go in to work earlier and then having a break before ABA starts. I am getting some summer vacation too.