ALL The Things - To Do List

 So today I woke up at 4:00 AM, courtesy of my head cold and next door neighbours who like to slam doors as they let the dog out, take the dog for a walk, come home from a walk, then leave for work.

After being sick for almost 2 weeks and finally getting 2 nights of good sleep, I was ready to Do The Things - ALL The Things. So it wasn't bad at all to start that early. I made my evil dark coffee and drank it while I made The To Do List - Christmas day menus, items to get at the store, admin tasks, reminders ... all of which helped me organize the sequence for the day. 

I made breakfast for James and made sure he had his meds. I bagged up water bottles to recycle and had James dump his launder in the washer to be cleaned. List and recycling in hand I shepherded my guy into the van for stop #1: Trader Joe's. Although it had been open only 15 minutes, the lot was full. Luckily inside was not so bad. The recycling got taken care of. Wow, milk has shot up! I discovered that the one thing they were out of was what I wanted for Christmas dinner's main course. 

Okay, back at the van, James helped me load the groceries and then he returned the cart. Off to Stop#2 Kohl's. Avoided crowded route and entered a store with very few shoppers (I remember from my Christmas working at Capwell's that you have to get there before 11 to avoid crowds). This made it easy for James to pick out a gift for his dad.  There was no one in line and we zig-zagged through the line like the beginning of Shrek in Duloc. I swiped my online order on the way out - voila, James now has a Christmas t-shirt!

Stopped (#3) at the independent grocer on the way home and had a lovely conversation with the butcher, who saved Christmas! James' Cheez-Its were and on sale on the way to the register, so I got enough to last him on vacation. 

We tried looking for deer on Deer Hill South, but saw none. At home, James helped me unload the car and he took a break while I put away food, tossed his clothes in the dryer, and took a breather. Then I helped James get started on a shower and hair washing, which we accomplished in under an hour!!! Clean clothes were sorted, folded and donned. Hygiene list was completed.

Next, we hit the road so he could visit with his dad, play video games, and give him his present. They had a good time. I got to gas up the van for the cheapest gas around and hang out in the redwoods for a nature break.

On the way back up, hanger started to set in (not too badly, though), so we celebrated being on vacation and shower/shampoo victory with a pizza and shake from Amy's. Now it's dark again at just after 5:00 PM, but I can rest. It feels so good. 

Spot Cleaning of Behaviors Past

After a week of being sick, with the holidays and  both kids' birthdays bearing down on me, I have finally committed to cleaning the house and decking the halls, one bit at a time. Some are regular spots, like the fridge, counters and stove. Others, well, send me back a bit in time ... 

When we first moved in, it was after being evacuated for a week from both old and new places because of a huge wildfire. Shortly after, COVID-19 shut us all down. Remote learning in a new house that was cramped with unpacked moving boxes and a working-from-home Mom was the 4th chaotic school change for James in about a year, after almost 10 steady years in the same district. It crashed with a divorce, deaths in the family, and the absence of his sister. 

Behaviors started up that he'd never had before, and they progressed downhill and exploded. That period was so intense that I blocked a lot of it out. Attacking spots of milk, food, and tissue on the walls, furniture, and floors today reminded me forcefully that at some point I let got of trying to get everything cleaned up because he'd only do it again and again ... I had my hands full, and I was losing my mind.

These days, James' teeth have been fixed, he has been in the same school for almost 4 years and back in the classroom for almost a year and a half. Family relationships are slowly being rebuilt. Despite some churnover, ABA has been a staunch support and parter for us as well as the school. While there is still a lot of work ahead of us, we are back in the realm of much more sane and calm.

I cleaned those expletive deleted spots, and it felt good.

Autism Today

Today on Autism, we covered good phone etiquette, emotions management, and hygiene promotion (self shower and shampoo). I found and re-assembled his electric shaver components, which he then used to shave chin hairs and trim long locks that got in his eyes. He did a great job in a good amount of time.  

We cursed the leaf blower that someone tried to use across the street, until sheets of rain discouraged them for the day. On a plus note: James used his head phones each time they tried, after only 1 initial prompt.

I did more paperwork ad emails for the partial conservatorship while monitoring progress in the bathroom. His hair is curly after a shower. I try to not be verklempt.

We discussed:

• World politics (Russia and North Korea - why are they fighting)
• Geography (are North Korea and North Carolina the same type of thing (county, state, something else)? 
• Who is going to work (of our acquaintances)? 
• Weather check-ins (Is it raining? Will it snow?)
• Where are our cats?
• Have I ever been to Spain, Italy, France, Germany, China, Japan, North Korea, or Disneyworld?
• Why is Sassy meowing so much?
• What did I used to do in High School (on weekends - hahahaha, that's another lifetime ago!)
• Going to see Christmas lights

Writing Christmas cards sadly did not happen this weekend. I'll keep trying on that one. He already picked out cards to send during yesterday's visit to Cost Plus (I am not affiliated with this company and am still calling it that, I know it's a World Market!).  

Overall, a good day. One more week of school until winter break!

ETA an hour later: Um. I spoke too soon. Someone tried to trim their bangs with the trimmer. Oh my. Well, it will grow out!

Breaking Down Eating

 It is common for autistic people to have a small and inflexible group of foods that they will eat. For both my kids, all their senses were acute. I was also a stressed working mom and so missed a crucial window of getting my kids to eat a variety of foods. 

All this to say that both my kids love carbs and plain foods. For a while I had success with getting them to eat apples and bananas. No more. Tomato sauce on pizza is the closest they get to a vegetable (no, no fries any more either). There was a week where I could get them to eat raw bits of broccoli, because they thought it was funny. No more. No popcorn, but they will eat tortilla chips.

For a while, James had a pretty good diet. Then our world broke up, broke apart, caught on fire, and kept falling apart on us. There were unresolved dental issues. James decided eating was a pain and his dietary world narrowed to cheese pizza, milk, and croissants.

Gradually, I, some family members, school, and ABA have encouraged James to re-expand his diet. I felt like Queen of the World when I got him to eat a warm pretzel in Golden Gate Park during COVID-19 lockdowns. Then ABA got him to make (and even eat) a quesadilla and a PB&J. His aunt got him to try strawberries and melon. His teeth are in much better shape and I think that is encouraging him as well.

Now ABA is providing a nutritionist to work with us on new foods and approaches for James. Like so much else that I have experienced with James, this involves breaking things down (introductions, preferences, actual tastes, bites, chewing, etc.) over several months to support a more robust and healthy diet. Bon appétit, mon fils, bon appétit.

Epic Milestone and Celebration

 Christmas Self-Care Miracle

My guy used the bathroom, took a shower, and washed his hair all on his own un under an hour. 

This is a first of epic proportions. Especially in light of regressions that hit their lowest during COVID-19 lockdowns. 

So proud of my guy!

Thank you, all you ABA helpers and family supporters!

Fellow parents, you will never know until you keep trying. I've been there, down and out. Sending you all big hugs. It can get better.

And now I am taking him out for a drive and pizza.