Signal Output Divergence

My father passed away less than two days ago. Even though it was peaceful and anticipated, it was emotional. While I was at his home, I had James stay here with a friend. When I returned from being with my mother and family, I was exhausted and wrung out.

James focused on getting computer time and complained after I had him stop after an hour. He paced to and fro, argued almost every statement I made, and muttered under his breath over and over how upset he was and how mean I was.

I told him he needed to be nicer to me, because my father just died and I was sad and upset. Also, we were going to bed early. He fought that too.

James sometimes has trouble talking about anxiety, sadness, or loneliness. These emotions tend to come out as agitation and behaviours.

I know he understands that I am feeling sad. There is a great big "now what?" disconnect between knowing this and being able to express sympathy or compassion in a recognizable way.