Declarations and Life Goals

We are finally getting rolling with ABA intake, and hope to have services starting next month.

The last question was addressed to James: "What do you hope to get out of these sessions?"

His answer blew us all away: "I want to feel self-confident."

First: I love how James was engaged and made a crucial partner in this process.

Second: The honesty of his answer. This guy has a huge piece of my heart. I am cheering for him all the way, because this has to feel huge - especially at the start of his teen years.

Third: I'm not crying, you are!

Positive Altitudes

I had to look up at James the other day to talk with him. I know he's grown taller than I but he's been hunching over. It's been a rough year. This past week he has been in a chipper mood overall, and his posture is improving.

I am so glad. Regular middle school years are hell. Autism intensifies everything. My guy has a sweet side, and he is happiest when others around him are mellow.

Today's topic of interest: Angry Birds. Every game. Multiple levels. Accompanied by happy hums. He pops out of his room to tell me about it all.

I am enjoying it while it lasts.

Because today we clean his room and he takes a bath.

Slamming Into Summer

So seventh grade ended up badly. That's all I will say in this post. Suffice to say that come August James will be in a new school and new school district. Meanwhile, I am getting used to Teen James, who is now almost 5' 10" at 13 & 5 months. Still a picky eater, so he is a handsome beanpole. He no longer calls out "Help me! HELP Me!!!!" when I wash his hair, but hygiene is still a struggle. He's learned to do his own laundry at a coin-op facility and is learning to rule the vacuum cleaner. As for myself... after dealing with all the schtuff I don't post about explicitly online for way too many years, I am tired.

Meanwhile, this happens to be THE Best summer school he has had in well over over four years. First the classes are at the high school campus, away from the noise and confusion of the previous location (six years running). Second, the teacher is giving them all life skills: cooking, taking the bus,  filling out a job application, and buying things in the store ... what is not to love? Third, he likes the older kids and the teacher.

I am wrangling summer reading on the side.

Still dealing with way too much spitting and use of tissue and toilet paper. Also clogging toilets when upset about things. Trying to get ABA going. Still working full time. Still dealing with end of life and major health issues in my family. Still calling and writing those nuts in DC about how I feel about our current status for education, healthcare, and immigration. And that damned tax bill.

Thank goodness for good friends, good books, and Marvel movies!

And so it goes.

Life Skills, Home Version

At 12, James has chores to help around the house. He empties smaller trash cans into a garbage bag and then hauls the bag off to the dumpster. He can gather his far-flung dishes and stack them neatly in the sink. He knows where the snacks are if he gets hungry. He cleans his own bathroom and helps pick up around the apartment and his room. He helps me to shop and to carry groceries.

Today we started two new items:

(1) Independence at the laundromat. While James has been doing his own laundry for a while now, that was when we lived in a house, and our washer/dryer were in the garage. Now we use the little laundromat downstairs. There are stairs to navigate with the full basket. He now needs to deal with a coin box, which requires correct sorting of quarters and mastery of the coin slide mechanics. And timing -- we share the little laundromat with 4-5 other units. James has learned that if you don't quickly make a move on an empty washer on the weekends, you will need to wait another hour before trying again.

(2) Vacuuming the carpet. This is big progress. James used to scream and cry at the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Over the years we progressed to his tolerating it behind closed doors in another room. In an apartment with wall-to-wall carpeting and two cats, however, vacuuming has become more necessary. I gave James the choice between cleaning the cat box or running the vacuum cleaner. He chose the vacuum cleaner. He has learned how to plug it in, that the cord comes out of the unit and retracts if you depress a lever. He has learned which lever allows the handle to ease back and that the red button controls the on/off function. The noise still bothers him, so I will take him to try on headphones that dampen noises.

Not only does this help me, it (hopefully) shows James that everyone needs to pitch in to help keep a home going. It's also giving him life skills so he can have a more independent life.

A Real Hair Cut

Guess what we did last weekend?

A real hair cut, with no tears, sitting in the chair the whole time, minimal distress, and some 11 year old street cred. Photo coming soon.

Thank you, hometown Great Clips hair salon! James picked you out and you made his day. Still making his week, in fact.

I have to give a big shout out to Ricardo, who didn't miss a beat and made James feel like a typical 11 year-old guy. His trimming technique around the ears was pure magic to watch.

One more of those "OMG, we're finally here" moments. Victory!