Positive Altitudes

I had to look up at James the other day to talk with him. I know he's grown taller than I but he's been hunching over. It's been a rough year. This past week he has been in a chipper mood overall, and his posture is improving.

I am so glad. Regular middle school years are hell. Autism intensifies everything. My guy has a sweet side, and he is happiest when others around him are mellow.

Today's topic of interest: Angry Birds. Every game. Multiple levels. Accompanied by happy hums. He pops out of his room to tell me about it all.

I am enjoying it while it lasts.

Because today we clean his room and he takes a bath.

Sibling DIfferences In Shoe Shopping

She: Visit several stores, punctuated by hangry episodes and at least a dozen variations of "I want them, but: there's a seam / tightness in the toes / no one wears shows like this / nah." Buy at least one pair of new socks to make show wearing bearable. Can't be any socks, there are usually at least 3 qualities that MUST be present for sock wearing. Deal with Accessories Temptation on both our parts.

Finally get lucky at REI / Big 5, far from home. Once (as in only once) I scored during Black Friday Deals weekend at Old Navy with Uggs. Current favourite shoes are glossy black rain boots. They look fantastic, but they are rain boots, bought on Amazon.com after searching in vain at Garretts, Old Navy, Costco, and Target.

 

He: Make plans to spend up to an hour at Payless Shoes, mostly looking for the right size and something on sale-ish. Run late and decide WalMart will have take care of frozen chicken nuggets, bigger underpants, and shoes for James.

Stroll down shoe aisle at the back of the store, after scoring last package of undies in the new size. Spot 2 pairs very blue tennis shoes. Whisk off his sandal and hold them up to the soles and decide he's probably now a size 6. Ask if he likes them. "Yes." Ask if he really will wear these shoes. Every day. "Yes." Purchase shoes after snagging chicken nuggets. We pretty much traveled in a rectangle inside the store and were out in 20 minutes, 5 minutes from home. With any luck, both pairs will last for more than 6 months.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Hatastic

James' Dad bought him this hat at a thrift store, saying he thought James might be a hat guy.

I think Dad is on to something!


For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday

Words We Live By

"It is imperfection — not perfection — that is the end result of the program written into that formidably complex engine that is the human brain ..."

I read these words in a NYT article on Dr. Rita Levi-Montalcini, who recently passed away. Dr. Levi-Montalcini was a neurologist who persevered against cultural norms to follow her desire to become a doctor at a time when women were expected to marry, becoming housewives and mothers, and Jewish people were not allowed a profession in her home country. The contributions she made to science, and our understanding of cell growth and nerve networks was revolutionary.

Not a perfect picture; but guess what -
he was having too much fun to stand still.

Her words have struck a chord with me. It reminds me of what made art so fascinating for me. Mistakes in execution of a piece can lead to great discoveries. The realization that 20 people could look at the same thing and render it back 20 unique ways. That imperfections and mistakes are not necessarily calamities, failures, or cause for embarrassment.

Dr. Levi-Montalcini's words are also meaningful to me at this time with James. In the midst of a school year where he is being pressured to fit in,  become a model student, and measured against educational standards of normal, it helps me pull focus and remember that the world is not perfect. It gives me pause to remember that, although at school James is seen (by several on his team) as flawed and not capable of academic achievement, his imperfect brain still interacts and reacts with the world. He is still growing and learning. On his path, not theirs. And that is okay.

With imperfections come discoveries, surprises, and new things that can lead to changes in our world. It makes life a little more breathtaking and wonderful. To me, that is better than perfect.

SOOC Saturday: New! New! New!

New play/activity alert! James was left to his own devices yesterday morning, and asked me to take down the toy parrot that records what you say and plays it back to you, in annoying, unpredictable bursts. Because he was playing so nicely and not interested in watching videos, I was all for it. (Also, I was picking up the I Spy pigsty, and was glad to have him absorbed in an activity)

Turns out he wanted to play, and have the stuffed toy parrot talk to the talking one. OMG, it was awesomely cute!

For the first time ever, he made one object talk with one voice and made a different voice for the other. He made one be the mommy and the other the baby, with the baby kissing the mommy on the beak. I died a thousand cute deaths watching this.

Then he practiced his social cues:
-- "How are you?"
-- "I'm fine. How are you?"

And then he made them play with each other. All of it completely new (well, at least for me to see it in action).

His sister woke up, upon hearing the unaccustomed sounds of someone else playing out loud with toys so early in the morning. She could not decide at first whether to be charmed with the toy animal play (in which she also loves to indulge) or pout that James was playing with a toy that her Dad bought just for her. Luckily, she's a good-natured big sister, and they had a lot of giggles, even playing together for a bit.

This is right up there with the first time he called me "Mommy."

The Slurping Life shares many unique moments in life, especially with SOOC Saturday/Sunday. Please visit to see entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.




  

SOOC: Moving at His Own Speed

James loves getting to do his Kids on the Move class every week. I think it has actually helped him be more confident with his body. I got to watch him this week and was struck again by how James has his own way of doing things.

While he may not be hopping and leaping like the others, giggling and chattering with them, he is there and participating at his own pace. He is smiling and taking things in. Occasionally, he tries something different; something he's never done before. If he doesn't do it like the others or perfectly, that's okay.

James seems to be the type of person who enjoys the journey, moving at his own speed. What is so wrong with that? He is growing, doing, and happy. It's a refreshing change of pace from testing, quotas, and checklists.

Even though ther eis no post yet this week on The Slurping Life, you can still visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.





  

Magic Marker Monday: O!

This photo does not do justice to the colours James painted on his letter O. It looks juicy, and full of light. He even added sparkle power!

I am glad to see James is using a brush sometimes when he paints. When he was younger, I'd have him out back in the summer, fingerpainting while just wearing a diaper. The resulting body art looked like a makeup job for Baby BraveHeart. I kid you not.

Visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.


        
  

Bright Colours

I love bright colours on James. They make him easy to spot and track in a crowd. They match his personality. I do not understand the concept of camouflage-patterned clothing for boys. I need to know what this guy is up to, and where he may be headed. The running away has tapered off, but he gets interested in many things and does not always stop and check in before he heads off to explore.

Hmmm, what to wear on Saturday at the Autism Walk? I think something red is a must for James. He loves to wear this colour. He's liked to wear yellow pullovers a lot this winter too, which brightens my day (although his smile is much brighter).

Thank you so much to everyone who's donated and supported us in this walk. It means so much!

New Words, More James

New this week from James (to his sister): "Go away. Is MINE!"

And when his sister wrestles with him to move him or remove something of hers from his grasp: "No. Stop it. Heeeeeep! My arm! I hurting!" (whether or not his arm is involved or anywhere near being hurt)

When he sees me at the second school for the afternoon pickup, his face really lights up and he runs and LEAPS into my arms, crying "Mommy! Mommy-Mommy-Mommy!!!!"

And in the backyard, to his sister: "Hey, Come on! Let's go onna swing!" They both love the 2-seater swing. Too bad the bolts are shaking loose -- yikes!

James volunteers information when riding in the car now: "O'ver dere -- is David's house." "I see a tree." "Hi, moo-cow! I see you!"

He picks out his clothes, helps clean up after dinner, and helps pick things up off the floor. He also has strategies for when he doesn't want to do something. The first is usually "I go to the bathroom!" (because he knows we are keen on potty training; the little stinker!). The other method is to pretend to fall on the floor (crying "I go to sleep now!") onto his tummy and snore.

He wants to go for walks. He will now play out back by himself and talk to the neighbours through the fences. If I am working too long in the home office, he comes in to find me for a quick hug.

We have had quite a week!

Magic Marker Monday: Hand Out

This little project from Valentine's Day just keep on giving. I was stumped for an idea of personal (but not too overboard) cards that I could make with James for his teachers and aids. They do add up. So I settled on tracing his hand and cutting it out from coloured paper. James helped me fold another piece of paper and helped me position and tape it down (oh, how that guy loves tape!).

I added a little extra slit where the base of the thumb curves into the palm of the hand, and would then insert a cut-out heart, suitably decorate. I helped James write his name under a special message inside.

Well, the hand paper looks good in a reverse cutout, so I sent a few of those cards to family members. I've also used the original idea with a star and a triangle as well for a birthday or gift card. I like the simplicity and personality. I like that James helps and is a part of the process.

I have saved a few of the hand silhouettes because his hand will never be this small again. Scrapbook, here we come!

Visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

  

SOOC Sunday: Barrel Tasting Weekend

This week I caught James at the school playground, hanging out in the metal barrel. It used to take a lot of coaxing to get him to climb on it at the beginning. Now he looks like he's feeling more at home.

Even though he is hungry for a taste of adventure and play, he is also learning to find new places to hang out, while enjoying the art of being mellow.

Just in time for barrel tasting weekend here in the wine country!

If there are any other locals reading this blog, just a shout out that there will be a fundraiser for the CATS Program on Tuesday, March 16th, at the Windsor Powell's. You must bring a flier to participate.

The Slurping Life encourages you to be good to yourself. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.



 

SOOC Sunday: Secret Smile

I love this new face. James has a secret. Or two or three.

He's using words in sentences and phrases. His Nana is starting to be able to understand him when she's driving and he's in the back seat. He's using the bathroom all by himself at school sometimes.

Today we sat through an entire Irish Dance show and he loved every minute of the music and dance. He talked to me and asked questions in a very nice indoor voice during the performance.

This week, he could be heard counting to 20 (with an assist at 13 and 15) so he could play hide and go seek with his big sister and older cousins in their home. He did a good job, too!

He sings himself to sleep at night and is reading books to himself. He has taught himself to write the first three letters of his name. I know because I saw him writing on the carpet with his finger. He is starting to use his left hand and foot more than his right.

I tell his teacher this and we celebrate.

Sometimes it is the teacher or SHAPE assistant who tells me "Did you know that James can play catch with another boy?" or "I asked James what he thought of something ... and he *told* me!" And we celebrate.


The Slurping Life celebrates the classics. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.



  

Who's That Guy?

Every now and then I'll get a new glimpse of the James that's inside the familiar face. Sometimes it's like a peek through a chink. Sometimes it's like a chunk or exterior plaster has fallen away and reveals the living person underneath.

James has always liked people and fun. He's noticed far more than we think he does. I've called him a "sleeper" because I will think he's not paying attention to me or the world beyond his shape sorter ... then boom! Out will come a phrase from 2 days ago or he will want that book that his sister has been looking at for a week.

Today James is feeling better after coming down with a sudden, nasty cold. He went from limp in my arms and on the sofa to running around all over the house. He went from one of us to another, engaging us in play.

He circled his Dad on his toes, head bent at an improbable angle, dancing just out of arms reach until Dad finally lunged a bit and caught him up in a tickle and hug. He asked his sister if he could use her computer (and she said "yes"!!!). He'll find me wherever I am and ask me to "Come here, Mommy" and pull me over to help him reach a game or a snack. He had a new grin on his face. It had more James personality to it and less generic cute guy -- it's kind of hard to explain, but I kept staring at this new side of James, and grinning back at him.