Gamified Group Results

We completed our participation in the movement study with SSU's Kinesiology Department. Although I could not, for various reasons, get James to participate in the week 2 activities, we did return for the follow-up tests and exit interview. Although it did not go as expected, I am still glad we tried it. This is an important issue for those on the spectrum and their caregivers.

Below is a video shared with us about the findings:

Developing Stories

Yesterday, James asked me where he would move to and what he would be doing when he grew up. This is the first time I have heard him talk like this and instigate a conversation like this. It is rather exciting for us both to start talking about it. I said he had time to think about it and come up with some plans. I also said he would have a home with me until he is ready.

Because we are looking again at moving. Costs of living are so out of alignment with what salaries are that even renting it too expensive. I'd rather take what money I'd funnel into covering my rent gap into a sustainable living situation. For a while I didn't see how it could happen.

Yesterday I got some good news that I am getting closer to making it happen. For a rare few hours, James and I were both blissfully and completely happy.

And that's okay.

James has been testing the hell out of the new school. I am so happy he is there because not once have they called to have me pick him up. They deal with the situation and are working on gaining James' trust. The messages I get back all consistently state that James is in the right place, they think he's a great kid, and they look forward to having him at their school. Some days it just makes me cry happy tears.

Meanwhile, we've paused ABA because, after a while of it helping, things got stuck in a rut and James started rebelling. He still refuses to bathe and has taken to trying to communicate via humming, because he's afraid if he opens his mouth, hair, or ash, or a bug will get inside. For those same reasons, he resists eating. He is almost 5' 11", so this is not great. A more stable home could help with those anxieties.

Moving is also a goal because the apartments are rough on James. He hates the noise and cursing that comes from the complex's swimming pool outside. And since he got caught in a rock fight some kids were having at the complex a while back, he no longer wants to go outside and walk around.

More as these stories develop ...

Get Back Up Again

Thursday morning, James was a shaky wreck. We missed the bus. He could not focus to eat breakfast. James usually pops on his clothes, including shoes and socks in about 5-10 minutes. After an hour of waiting while he was "getting ready", I went and got him (which made things more fraught). He was close to a full-on panic attack when I pulled into the school parking lot. I remained calm and walked him to the office, where I explained in a low, calm voice what was happening.

"Thanks for letting us know," I was told. "We've got this." The woman was speaking as calmly as I was. Her eyes serious. She got it. I love this school.

No calls or texts, the whole day through, even though I had my cell phone out on my desktop, expecting them at any minute (because this happened repeatedly over this past school year). James took the bus home, and arrived in good spirits. He took being swooped up, as soon as I got home, to ABA at a nearby park in stride. Although there was no actual ABA services (there was a time misunderstanding) we hung out at the park for a bit, and said hello to some of his favourite counselors at the Boys and Girls Club.

We picked up pizza and went to go look for deer at Deer Hill North. We hit the deer motherlode: eight deer in assorted locations, ranging from the sweetest little spotted faun to full grown males with great, velvety antlers.

Home again we went. James settled down and ate some pizza and drank milk. Then parked himself alongside a gallon of vanilla ice cream. Normally I don't condone this, but this guy needs to put calories on his bones.

I read the daily notes from his teacher. James took more breaks for quiet time than usual and only had one point in the day where behaviours broke out. Otherwise, he participated. Such a difference: I was getting reports about his day on relevant topics. James went to school extremely agitated and returned calm. No undertone complaints about the staff or school (although there was some of the usual litany about past people that are associated with bad memories).

As I sat in the armchair in the living room, he began to chat pleasantly. Eventually, he asked about the Dad in Matilda. I picked up the book we'd checked out of the library last weekend and said "Hey, let's see what the author says about him."

After noisily resisting any reading whatsoever for over a year (broke my heart - I love reading), James listened to me while I read to him. I was hugging myself on the inside.

Two chapters later, my eyes were wanting to snap shut. I apologised and said I had to turn in, but we could read more tomorrow. "Okay, Mother," he agreed, and strolled off down the hall to bed.

I went to bed grateful and thankful. We were back up again.