Road Trip to Serendipity

It was four years ago today that I decided we should take advantage of summer in California and get out in the gorgeous weather and scenery. James loves the Golden Gate Bridge, and I was missing the SF Bay Area of my years growing up. We talked my friend into coming along for the drive and we all zipped in my car down 101, drinking it all in.

At the bridge, the fog was boiling over the coastal hills and blowing through the gate, but there was no fog horn. James LOVES the foghorns on the Golden Gate Bridge. We walked a bit on the bridge. When the fog is coming in, however, the wind can make is hard to stay upright.

A guard saw us and came over. I explained that James was hoping to hear the foghorn, and asked what triggers the foghorn, because we could not see across the bridge because of the fog. He kindly explained that the fog has to be socked in low on the water before the foghorns turned on. He was watching James as he danced about in the fog, and he could tell there was something special about him.

"I tell you what," he said. "I'll radio to the engineer to go flip the switch and turn on the horn." Wow! Really? They could do that? No trouble at all, he assured us. It would take about 15 minutes for the engineer to get to the control room and get things started. We thanked him many times. James decided he wanted to head back to the car, so we did.

We pulled up to the first turnout on the Headlands side of the bridge, looking at the cool, roiling, silent fog that already hid the entire bridge from view. A few minutes later ... the fog horns began. Just for James. I will never forget it.

Eureka Trip

For years, James has seen the signs on the freeways that show the miles to Eureka. "What is Eureka? "Where is Eureka?" "Can we go there in 30 minutes?"

Last weekend, after a very tough week, we hopped on 101 and found out, taking in the journey:

Deer mural in downtown Eureka

Two thousand + year-old tree, which fell finally in 2006

James in Eureka

Bears carved from a redwood tree, still attached to the trunk.

On Super Bowl Sunday, we drove through a giant redwood.

Pulling in the side mirrors ...

Inside the tree

Test Drive at the Library

James has been fixating on plotting the driving route from Northern to Southern California. He constantly asks which city is next, how we get to So Cal, and what the weather is like at various points. Common fixations are the Altamont Pass. He is also fascinated with the steep So Cal access road, in particular why we call it The Grapevine but it's official title is the Tejon Pass.

James also loves going to the library: computer time!

Put these things together, and you get:

Oh my!

Restless

It has been a month of early morning trips to SF before school and work with James. We enjoy time together and the break from routine. But James is now getting bored with the long wait in a coffee shop.

He hasn't wanted his iPad this morning, choosing instead to work math problems and write letters in my notebook. part of me is thrilled. Part of me is thinking maybe it is time to start working some walks into this routine, if it continues into another two-week session.

The sessions are definitely helping. While the weight gain is not really happening, he is getting cleaned out and holding steady at 61.5#. He is starting to eat whole sandwiches, tortilla chips, and blueberry waffles again. Thanks to his wonderful teacher and classmates, he is trying new foods with his Lunch Group.

Now that James is getting healthier and more energetic, his ability to just sit goes down. And that's okay with me. He's got things to do. Places to go. As he should be.

Back in The City Again

Feels like a routine already. For the first time, we got views of fog on the Bay. Some hovered over the bridge, the rest steamed through the Gate and across the water into the East Bay.

James and I are in the coffee shop again, waiting for his appointment. Sure beats waiting on the freeway!

The area was bright and sunny, but now I am looking out the window, across the street, and watching the fog roll over the top of the hill and down the street toward us.
It is good to be back.

Avila Beach

I've been looking over photos from this summer and realized I hadn't put any up of our trip to the beach this summer. We took a longish road trip down to visit with friends, who took us to one of their favourite ocean hang outs: Avila Beach.

First, we found a parking space on a weekend (!) Next, we visited their small but wonderful aquarium. I think our house is bigger than this place, but they have a lot of heart, and good exhibits:

Main room, showing regional fish in their natural environment.
The starlight netting on the ceiling is a nice touch. Gives the place an air of excitement.

James people watched for a bit, then got a proper look behind him ...

Jellyfish! As in SpongeBob and

Finding Nemo - JellyMan!!!

Lots of round tanks, some with currents swirling gently.

After this, we ate some packed snacks and headed for the beach! Kids frolicked and adults looked on in second-hand happiness. It was a lovely, lazy, refreshing visit.

How he usually starts off.

Wheeeeee!!!

James got very confident, letting the low waves crash into him and laughing with joy.

No Matter Where You Go ...

We're on the road again. Not our usual summer trip to LA, but a trip south to the beach to visit with friends.

James was not happy in the car. This is our first long road trip in the "new" vehicle (a Mazda 5), and i think he felt the road much more in this smaller vehicle than our Toyota Sienna van. The heat, traffic, and road construction did not help, either. Makes me glad that from an early age both kids were racking up road trips, otherwise I think there would have been some issues with car sickness.

I'm faced with a familiar dilemma - finding a balance between stretching James out of his comfort zone, giving him new experiences to build his confidence, and not overwhelming him into an anxiety meltdown. As this will be a short weekend trip, I am not too fussed.

The packing and getting ready to go are always the worst part. I am not only packing and doing daily routines, I am cleaning and prepping against the time we are gone so we don't come back to an ugly mess. And frankly, the toughest part of packing is trying to fit the pantry and fridge essentials into the car. Because the kids are such picky eaters and I want things hassle free on vacations, relaxing meals means break open the cooler or bag for familiar foods, rather than eating out. They also tend to eat better too and James' digestive dynamics are that much calmer, as a result.

With the iPads, packing games, toys, and videos are no longer necessary. I have a pack of cards and a mini Connect 4 game and we're good to go. We can always find paper & pen for doodles and hangman. My daughter took over packing lists and oversaw clothes packing for herself and James. What a big helper my girl friend is! I've learned to pack a core cadre of OTC meds: Miralax, liquid ibuprofen, melatonin drops, liquid Benedryl, Neosporin, and a small first aid kit. Baggies are my life-saving friends with this bag.

I make sure James packs his blankies, as they give him a lot of comfort in strange surroundings. The iPad gives him a good refocus point. I try to mix in new activities with some quieter time. Like last night, when we were invited to a block BBQ/4th party.

I encouraged the kids to explore and play with the other kids, trying the jumpy house and trying new foods. James was pretty good, but got tired and walked a little apart from the crowd (see photo above). Then he started to ask when we were driving home. He lay down on a driveway and said things to the sky at large like "Is it Sunday yet?" and "I love you, Mother," and then, finally "I want to go home, please!" I did get him to come over and sit on my lap for a bit, but the kids really were tired, so we said our goodbyes (looking at the ground) and came back to our vacation pad. There we had quiet time, melatonin, and jammies. Both kids snuggled down in their beds while I read them a chapter of Harry Potter and answered questons. They went on to sleep all through the night, which is rare.

Yes, taking the kids out on trips by myself can be a bit stressful, and it feels like I have to pack a ton of of home things, but it is very nice to have a change of scenery. As it often happens, the autism in our lives hammers home some common wisdom: "No matter where you go ... there you are." I hope our trips have helped James to better cope with new surroundings.

A New Year's Tradition

We live within an hour of the Pacific ocean and trips to the coast and its beaches are happy events. Making a special New Year's pilgrimage to the Pacific has made for some of the most enjoyable of memories for our  family. In recent years, we haven't been able to make it every year, for various reasons.

Last year I made the trip alone with the kids to with visit friends. This year we celebrated having a car that could make the trip to the coast without needing breaks to recharge it. We investigated a new beach, where the pounding, towering surf made me incredibly nervous for the kids, even as it's raw beauty wowed me. So after lunch and a whole lotta ooohing and ahhhing we piled back in the car and made for our favourite local family cove.

Doran Beach was hopping. I had to wait for 3 people to leave before I found a parking spot. Once we hit the sands, the kids flew to the waterline, where much milder waves crashed and splashed ashore. Our daughter made fast friends with another girl, her shovel (a full-sized garden specimen), and bucket. They spent almost an hour digging a pit and building a sand sofa in it. I adore my girl.

James became one with the surf and sand. It was interesting to watch him walk, his feet and toes as sensitive and fingers and hands, while he held up his actual hand and fingers like sign posts and kept them immobile.

James had a blast, interfacing with the beach by using his feet:

We agreed that this was an excellent start to a New Year. I love that we keep using our Regional Parks pass and membership. What would we do without the ocean?

Autism: Can't Leave Home Without It

We're back! I'll be recovering through next week.

James developed Pink Eye and the Summer Flu while we were on the road. While I am thankful there were no horrific constipation issues or ER visits, managing James' testing behaviours and both kids' sensitivity issues while being the single parent/caregiver 24/7 for over a week nearly pushed me past my limits.

For the first night in a long time, I can sit down and get some observations down:

• Don't keep James up past 9pm. It's not pretty the next day, especially if we're headed to some place like Disneyland (good luck with that because fireworks from Disneyland start at 9:30 and can be seen and heard from our "Letter Q Hotel").
      
• While not ideal for getting a good night's rest, it's sweet to sleep next to my buddy (and a good safety procedure, as he can still roll off a bed). He starts off hogging the bed diagonally but can be nudged over to one side. He still looks like my little boy while asleep.
       
• Bring and use more hand cleaner. James still mouths handrails when maxing out from sensory overload. Also? He's now using the boys' bathroom by himself. Hand washing is vague and inefficient, plus we still have that wiping issue.
     
• Writing letters and playing Angry Birds really help focus him, even when he's being a King Stinker. Try to give him these breaks *before* he gets too naughty and lands himself in Time Out in the stroller or facing the wall, wailing and melting down in public.
        
• James loves to help -- let him take bags to help load/unload the van. He's good at it and it gives him exercise. Ditto with cleaning up.
      
• Remember that special attention/time with big sister is more important than ever. Let James watch TV or play a little Angry Birds on my phone while I take time to brush out and style her hair or read out loud to her and ask what she's enjoy doing on vacation.
     
• James' gag reflex is getting worse. Don't try to make him be quiet when he's trying valiantly to not throw up. The anxiety triggers an awful mess. Also? he will always say he's feeling fine, even when producing evidence to the contrary.
     
• Must wrap son with a beadspread like I used to with feral cats. It's the only way I can pin him on the bed and keep his hands and legs from interfering with getting antibiotic eye drops in his eyes.
     
• James will now display behaviours that are more aggressive when he is frustrated/upset.
  -- He screamed so loudly in a food line that he startled people near us. I saw those
      eye rolls and stares.
  -- He bit a small toy in half when I physically removed his hands from the bin
      (where he'd been furiously messing with them in a temper) and instructed him
      to stand still, and
  -- ... he tried to swipe a group of ceramic mugs off a display shelf.
      The sales lady was very nice but he earned that little swat on the rear,
      order to make an apology, and little chat with Mom in the middle
      of the store.
  Not yelling or showing despair were the two best things I could have done and they were effective, but dang! I wanted a drink after. Yes, I am in charge -- don't even *think* of trying that one again, because it's *not* acceptable. Let's go some place quieter and all calm down. 

Do they have Calm Down Bars? They should.
    

On The Road to Family-where

So the kids and I are on the road. We've traveled the routes down to the south many times, between 1 and 4 times a year. We're pretty seasoned van travelers. The worst part for me is prepping for the week I'm not at home, while packing. This is where routine-dependent, picky-eating children come in handy. I know what to pack to relieve some stress of living outside the routine box we call home.

This year, I took on a few extra challenges, such as prepping for the end of school and still catching up from when my daughter was sick (with paperwork and to do lists). Oh, Foolish Mom. Then, 2 days before departure,  the weather turned up to heat (90°) and all the cherries on the tree popped into ripeness. Gah.

This is a different trip, because we are front loading it with visiting family and winding up with a visit to Disneyland. We had a GREAT sleepover our first night -- the kids went nuts meeting and playing with their cousins. That right there made the trip for me. Despite my packing too much stuff and losing track of it, we enjoyed running around, catching up, hanging with the pets, and spending time with family.

James kept his newly graduated cousin (congratulations!) up until almost 1am, playing Angry Birds on his iPhone. Thanks, Dude, that was really sweet you are now his new hero. It took him a while to warm up to the dogs and cats, but he did finally relax and pet one of the cats and oohed at the adorable flop-eared rabbit.

After lunch, we met up with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa and James bonded over Mac gadgets. I remembered to get pictures this year - yay!

Finally, after a few mishaps, we landed in Anaheim, at what James calls "the letter Q hotel." Oh, beds never felt so good! We even got a free fireworks show from the balcony. Today: The beach! And more family -- I can hardly wait!

NYE Countdown: 11PM

More trips. We spent a day in the East Bay, to visit Fairyland and Alameda Beach before your P/T and O/T appointments at a regional facility. I think this is right before you took off ona growth spurt. You're still inches shorter than your sister (now you're almost even).

You ADORE Snow White. You want to buy her Pez dispenser and you love her as a cookie jar.

Pretty soon you'll have to double over to get in ...

Berry patch. Your sister has to lean over to hug you -- she can't do that now unless you're sitting!

Again, good self-regulating! Sorry about the noisy birds ...

You did, however, love the Pacific Ocean!

You started to lose your baby teeth:

Then there was the long van trip to Washington state, to visit Daddy's mom. Boy, that was a fun trip. She got to see how much you'd grown, in so many ways!

A Transcendental Day (& Night)

After 2 full days (and 3 nights) of James being sick and crying, I decided it probably wasn't the flu that was making him so sick. I called for a weekend appointment. Unfortunately, the earliest one was nearly 4 hours away.

Deciding to make the best of a rather crappy morning, I bundled up James and put him in the van, telling my husband that I'd take him for a drive until the appointment, so at least he and our daughter could get some rest. My head ached from lack of sleep, stress, and the prospect of several long, bleak hours to kill on the road with a sick, wailing child strapped in behind me.

And you know, instead I had a morning that I will remember for years to come. Absolutely amazing and gorgeous. The mist was slowly rising up off the vineyards, whose leaves ranged from light green to gold to flaming oranges and reds as they rolled over hills and filled the flatlands. The redwoods and evergreens were towering and dark green on either side of the road. The rising sun would cut in through the fog and light up dead moss and yellowing vines and leaves in the foreground. Despite worrying about James and being slowly driven mad by his toneless stimming, I enjoyed the heck out of all that beauty.

We stopped for a few minutes by the River, and I was able to take some photos. I held James for a bit in my arms, and we watched a commune of ducks as they flocked to food underneath a tree, quietly quacking to one another as they mingled and munched. We drove across the River on a beautiful little bridge and down a side street that was slowly being taken back by the redwoods. And darned if we didn't see ... a splatty witch, one of James' most favourite Halloween things ever.

Duck brunch.

On a bridge to Nowhere ...

Watch out for that tree!

We meandered down to Jenner and up the coast for a bit, then turned around and headed back inland to the med center. We arrived very early, and I used our steadfast double stroller to transport James. To keep him from driving the other patients in the waiting room mad, I strolled him gently up and down the corridors until our appointment came. Once installed on the exam room table, James' turned to exhaustion and he nearly fell asleep before the doctor arrived.

The on-call doctor was very kind and seemed to size up the autism and health situations with James very quickly, even though I am pretty sure he'd never seen him before. I was rather surprised to hear that James did not have the flu or tummy bug, rather the yammying was due to excess of phlegm, bronchitis, and the beginnings of infections in both ears. The doctor was very kind to me as well, saying that unfortunately, James had to kind of get to this point before he could be helped by antibiotics so I did well to bring him in today, rather than earlier or later.

So we got his antibiotics, pain reliever (suppositories, just in case), and albuterol inhaler and headed back to the van. As soon as James was loaded into his car seat, I gave him the antibiotics. Over the course of the afternoon at home, I was able to also administer the albuterol and some food (the doctor said he could even have dairy products). He rested on the sofa and I noticed he'd stopped moaning and doing the verbal stims. He told me that his throat had stopped hurting. He took a nice nap and took more food. Within half and hour of the food, he was sitting up and talking again. As I type this entry, he is singing along (in his own words)to a Baby Einstein video.

From my big purple armchair I salute Alexander Fleming, Edward Abraham, Clodomiro Picado Twight, and others who brought us antibiotics. The difference between James of this evening and this morning is literally like that of night and day. Between James feeling so much better and the unexpectedly transcendent morning, my day has undergone a transformation for the better as well.