In Which Little Things Confound

So ... James has been eating less again. During a recent late afternoon treat out for frozen yogurt, he came across ... something in his frozen yogurt. I still don't know what it was, but he is now deeply distrustful of food.

Which makes him cranky, and prone to hanger.

Over the last two days, there have been episodes of throwing food over a fence, eloping, and a whopping loss of control.

James is trying, but school is again hard for him. We have also started ABA services the other three afternoons of the school week, so that is more stress.

I feel discouraged. How I wish we had had some of this help earlier. How I so wish I knew what to do.

Tonight, I just sat down in the hallway to listen to James. After a bit, he sat down too, by me. He kept talking, about past aides who made him mad. About how he doesn't mean to say bad words. How his brain was running around. He still said he was not hungry.

After an hour, I had to get to bed. I told him it was time for bed and that I loved him. I got him into his room. How in the heck is it so hard to get a tall, growing teen boy to eat? I hope we both feel better tomorrow.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Pensive

School has started, and what a lot of changes we've rolled with: physical location, expectations, classroom environment, different classmates, rules (lots of those), hours ... I know James has a lot to process. How I wish I could really talk with him, to find out what he's thinking.

Glad for the quiet moments, and some free time outside.

For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday

Moving on From a Chair

One of the few pieces of equipment we've needed and used for James to help with his Autism Spectrum Disorder needs is this chair:

    

This chair was ordered by his North Bay Regional Center case manager for James when he was just over 2, when he was first being evaluated and diagnosed with some pretty severe developmental delays. We've used it every day in this house up until this past weekend -- that's 5 years of togetherness. It became almost like a member of our family.

This chair was awesome, because we could snap James into a 3-point harness, which kept him in his seat (he'd wriggle or fall off a regular chair and was too large for a high chair). The footrest was helpful to keep his feet still at meals and ground him for homework sessions. The seat itself was adjustable, and there were a couple of years where we'd be adjusting that sucker every month or so.

It had its down sides; for a while it got used for Time Outs, until James started to not want to use the chair at all.  We've all suffered painful whacks to our toes on it's splayed legs. Lately, James has gotten too big to sit comfortably on it. It was time to give it back to the Regional Center, for another family to use.

So that is what we did on Tuesday. James said goodbye to the chair and patted it. I loaded it into the van, and we dropped it back off at the Regional Center.  While I dislike saying goodbye to another piece of James' younger years, it also feels good to be giving back.

Pushing Ahead

So many little changes, adding up to a new phase. Over the last 2 days, the potty training has gone backward a bit and James has been falling down some more (not lifting his feet properly to get over a small curb).

But James has grown about a quarter inch recently and started to talk to us about things. No one else but his Dad or I could understand him, but he's starting to ask for things like wanting to hold on to a DVD case at bedtime or asking to go to our bedroom to ask Daddy to start his computer so he can watch Barney (shudder) on PBSkids.org. Baby Barney. Yeah.

And when he's not doing that, he's singing silly versions of the Happy Birthday Song to himself ("Happy Bir-day to ... Sox! Ooo live in de rocks ...") and being supremely happy.

I am also pushing him to do more like put on and buckle his seat belt, bring me dirty dishes at clean-up time, and find an activity to do (instead of verbal or wandering stimming).

Too Tired to Nap

James had a good day at school today, but seemed a bit tired when I got him home. Thank goodness the recent heat wave broke so I didn't have to worry about heat exhaustion with him.

He could not settle down to do much this afternoon, although he tried hard to do so. The swings, trains, Curious George adventures, and trampoline were all good for about 5 minutes or less. After that, he'd wander, lay down on the sofa, or cry if I tried to get him to take a nap in his room.

Once, after an unusual meltdown, I decided he was really tired and put him down in bed, under the covers. After a few minutes of Highly Suspect noises from his room, I opened the door to find him in the process of trashing it.

*sigh* and yes, he put it allllll back, with me to keep him on the job until he'd finished.

By the time I got him down for reals, it was after dinner, he was crying with frustration ... and he was out like a light in less than five minutes.

Dude, I am so glad you have your afternoon daycare at the school tomorrow, because I think that might have made your day better. Sweet dreams, big guy!

SOOC Saturday: Pushing Buttons

"What? You don't want me to push any buttons?"


James has been loving his new school-day routine of going to a mainstream daycare at a preschool 2 afternoons a week and their preschool session Friday mornings. He is talking more and having short, two-sentence discussions with us! He likes to play pretend games, and offers up spontaneous statements such as "I like red!"

The bad news for me is that he has given up his afternoon naps (except the day he has the mainstream preschool session with his SHAPE assistant) and he has put on the Sassy Pants Attitude. I am glad to see James progressing, even as I mourn the loss of a 3-hour break from the whirlwind that is James in the afternoons.

The attitude is really on the sweet side, as evidenced by the two-sentence conversations. Exhibit A, conversation regarding a game on his computer yesterday.

Me: "Hey, James -- you're four years old. Why don't you press button number four?"

James: "No! I want to press the one!"
(and he does, with a roguish grin, looking right at me)

"Well, what about this button?"



The Slurping Life is getting into Fall! Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present!



  

Time Off

We had plans for this weekend. They were different from what actually happened. Another of life's affirmations.

I was planning to join the Walk for Autism event, before going out on an overnight date with my husband. That was before James' allergies started getting worse and my daughter's infected toe. Before I knew it, it was 2pm on Saturday afternoon and I was frantically trying to get the last 3 loads of laundry done. Of course this was one of two afternoons this year that James did not want to take a nap.

We managed to get things ready (enough), complete with two had-written pages of our routine, meds and their schedules, and a note authorizing my mom to get medical assistance for the kids, should it be needed. My husband and I were off for an afternoon, dinner, overnight, and brunch sans children for the first time in almost six years. It was amazing.

My mother said that when she was putting him to bed that night, James was softly chanting "Mama, Mama, Mama." I didn't know whether to smile or cry, so I did a little of both. James hardly says "Mama," but I hated the thought of him being sad, even though I know he was being well loved and taken care of.

So yesterday and today he has been running up to me/into me and pressing against me, going "mmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!" I give him lots of smiles and hugs and tell him how much I love him. Yesterday he started saying his sister's name, then "Dada" and "James" --- yay!!!! The first time I have heard him do that!

One his favourite people came by this afternoon -- she likes to keep track of his progress. She says she is seeing a lot of James finding himself and gave an encouraging take on the increase in screaming, hitting, and throwing. He is testing limits and being 3, his age. He is also trying to come to terms with all the new things he is noticing and trying to do. She suggested gummies or nice crunchy things for his teeth grinding and is encouraged with how much he interacts with people and in his class. James kept giving her hugs and finally collapsed happily in her lap, after taking her pen and playing games with it/her.

A little perspective can be a wonderful thing! But I still feel bad for mising the Walkathon.