My Funny Valentines

Oh my stars - I remember when. I love coming across old photos like these. This used to be how I shopped each week:

She used to tweak his toes gently, all through the store.
He often fell asleep while shopping.

Breakfast became amusing ...

Tea time has never been the same.

Something New

We finally checked out a program we've heard a lot of good things about, but never actually joined: Saturday Sidekicks at Sonoma State University.

Oh, I can see why parents love it and their kids have a good time. It's a fairly simple premise, carried out wonderfully well. Parents bring children to a gymnasium, which is filled with mats, Hula Hoops, a climbing board, platform swing, teeter-totter, trampoline, and scoot carts with an obstacle course. They are met by college students who are assigned to a child and become their play/Adaptive PE buddy. Music, scooting, chasing, and shouts of giggling abound. Periodically, everyone is pulled back to circle time for a group activity and song.

James adored it, and his sister had a great time too. I just sat on a chair and socialized with the mom who reminded me it was available and gave us a car pool ride down there with her kids. What a great start to our Saturday!

Getting Ready to Move On

Next week is James' last week of school. Last week of one of our kids going to school at our little neighbourhood school -- the only school that probably both will have both attended (they are now in different school districts).

I shot some pictures of one of our walks home last week. I will really miss these! Not only is is it a fun special time with James and good exercise, it's also one of the few "normal" school things I can do with my kids that I remember from my own childhood.

"Look, Mommy! Is a rock!"

Oh yes, how this guy loves his stop signs!

Nice and colourful, just like James.

Time for me to stock up on Kleenex. I am also burning a CD of all his First Grade class/activity pics for his teacher this weekend.

When You Least Expect It

James seems to be settling back down and into a better pattern of behaviour at school. Thank goodness. I am trying more to balance fun times on the iPad with some school work and social time.

Tonight, James popped out two new things on me:

(One) He had a normal give-and-take conversation with his sister about their days at school, and then asked me how my day was and interacted accordingly. This happened on our way back from an unplanned, post-dinner trip to the post office to pick up some mailing boxes. It was hard to not scream with delight as I drove home, listening to this unfold in astounding simplicity. I think my jaw was on the floor for two blocks. Normally James scripts, or must be prompted to have a conversation. This was stunningly different, yet very relaxed.

(Two) He made up a story all on his own and enjoyed telling it out loud in one continuous story line. OMG & try to not scream with excitement again.
Back story: I bribed big sis to put him to bed. She got to stay up a little longer and have chocolate ice cream if she read him a story and talked with him for a bit. He LOVES this, BTW. She made up a very short TeleTubbies story for him. He then made up one for her about Princess Fiona opening her door and being very surprised to find Barney there. She wasn't happy about that (who would be?) and slammed the door on him. Then suddenly she was on a plane, which was traveling upside-down. Not sure how that happened, but she had many exciting adventures in TeleTubby Land after she landed.

I am not sure why big things like these seem so random and unexpected with James. I suppose it could be because he's always been so independent at selecting his moments to display his developments, and doing it so casually. I find myself having to pinch myself to believe that James is actually doing the new activity (and it's not one of my dreams) or catching myself up suddenly and realizing that this is a first, and not the status quo.

It's like a big gloop of ketchup that you get after shaking the bottle for a while. Like hearing your name called at a raffle drawing you entered during a big fundraiser. Like a warm smile from a stranger for no reason at all. When I least expected it, James totally made my day.

Biiiiiiig Huuuuuuug!

Runaround Rodeo: Full Speed, Full Stop

Up at 5AM after hearing daughter moaning. Stomach flu. Gah. This simple fact triggers the following cascade of events:

• Call to her school to report her sick
• Call to job to report I need to stay home (see above)
• Quarantine daughter ASAP and wipe down things she might have toughed yesterday, when she was the picture of health
• Prep to make morning drop as quick as possible, being ready for a dismaying array of possible actions/consequences
• Turn classical music on louder than usual, to drown out the sounds of pain -- it triggers extreme anxiety in her brother, which sets him up for a bad day at school
• Make 4 stops in 30 minutes to accomplish direst of errands for the day; demolish planned list of activities and reassess for new, confined status
• Take deep breaths and try to not yell; she did not plan or want to get sick
• Try to not keep thinking "My day is ruined and once again I cannot do what I want/need. Brilliant. Not."
• Notify respite care and CATS Student of current situation and let them pick whether or not to come over this afternoon; I need a break, but don't want to recklessly spread the bug
• Swear under my breath, flashing back to That Scene in The King's Speech

My plan for the day is to break things down even further, into 10-15-minute chunks. Periodically check on daughter. Keep that music on. Go out back and take a break for me at least twice before my son gets home. Breathe.

PS: I finally got to sleep at 1 this morning. Yeah -- ow.

Happy Easter

Bunny boy was up at 5:30 and ... ignored his basket. Again. He was all about playing with his iPad. Red-eyed and exhausted, I handed him some books and suggested he read *quietly.* A mere 20 minutes later, he was reading aloud from "Where the Wild Things Are" - emphasis on the LOUD. Time to inject coffee, extra strength for me!

By the time we'd all assembled for our Easter brunch, James had noticed his basket. Both kids got Funky Monkey tokens in their basket eggs instead of candy. They collected dozen of sweets-filled eggs at their grandparents' garden later that day.

James really liked getting a flashlight of his own and his Cars book, which (whisper it) was actually a great present he'd received for an earlier holiday, but was not yet ready to appreciate. Boy, does he appreciate it now!

After the egg hunt at Nana and Apu's it was time for an early dinner. Everyone sat together at the table, and for the first time I did not bring the kids' food for them. I figured they could eat bread and try something new ... or I could feed them when we got home. Time to try stretching what they'll eat at social gatherings. Yeah, they pretty much stuck to bread and they had a late dinner-snack before bedtime.  We'll get there.

After a really delicious meal and desserts, the cousins all played together at a local park, running off a ton of energy (and sugar). It was so satisfying to watch them all chase each other and have a blast in a group. It's how I grew up and I don't want our kids to miss out on that.

Bedtime came early and they slept well!

Compensations

James is my early riser, and because he wanders or stands in the middle of a cold house in pre-dawn hours, I've got into the habit of waking when he does to make sure he stays in his warm bed as long as possible.

I am so not a morning person. But this shift in my life does come with compensations. Early morning smiles from a very cute little guy and some fantastic moments in the garden as I wait for the coffee to brew and breakfast to cook. This morning was especially enjoyable.

Not Surprised

I read an NPR news report about a study in South Korea that found the incidence of Autism in school children was significantly higher than anticipated.

Am I surprised? No. First, I have become used to looking at things through Autism glasses. Second, when we were filling out questionnaires for James during his diagnostic period, I noticed that there were many questions that I marked "no" for my son, but "yes" for my daughter. She had started to walk and talk by her first birthday, can do multiplication, addition, and subtraction correctly in her head, makes up stories, reads at least a grade level ahead, and asks complex questions about art, science, and life. She is very loving and affectionate and does not act out in school. She plays well with others.

She is also extremely sensitive. I could tell you tales about years of crying fits because socks have "strings" that hurt her so much she would refuse to go to school in the mornings. Tags on clothes? Ditto. Thank goodness for seamless socks and tagless shirts. She's started 2nd grade and just a couple months ago I got her to wear pants with zips and a snap. First time ever for that one.

Noises and smells seemed to overpower her, although she handles them much more "normally" now. She is still a picky eater. It took 3 years of swim lessons before she got her head wet. That means from ages 3-7, washing her hair was akin to waterboarding, in her experience.

People have asked if I had considered getting her tested for being on the spectrum. My answer so far is no, because I do not see what services she could get that could help her. This might change, but for right now, we're good. Enough.

It makes me wonder how many other children are out there, with special needs, who are undiagnosed, yet managing to cope so far on their own ...

Reading Together

As posted earlier, I was pleased to see that reading was high on the vacation activities list. It's so much easier to pack books than toys, and it's better than watching TV or movies. Big sister gets to practice reading and leadership ... little brother wants to grow up to be just like her. Plus, they have an activity they like to do together:

There was an added bonus to this, in that both of their schools had a Scholastic Book Fair in the week before we left. I got each of them 2 books for the trip and their libraries and their schools got free books. They got the surprise of a "present" and we had the satisfaction of providing a gift that will keep on giving. Even if it's about SpongeBob.

SOOC Saturday: Discovery Kidz

Last month, my Mom and I took the kids to the Discovery Museum. James showed his joy of playing with others.



I will never get tired of watching the joy children have of playing with the world around them and laughing with each other.

The Slurping Life has a magic number. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. Share your stories too.



  

I Am a Boy Who Loves ...

Family. Friends. Playing. Life. Apple bars & milk in the mornings. Being silly.

And lest we forget, It's a Small World ride at Disneyland!

1 in 100

That's the new government estimate of children in the US affected by autism. (Link)

One in one hundred. And that's with the people who answer phones and talk with survey takers. Will we ever know the true number?

I am sometimes haunted by the feeling that there is a very real cause that triggers this disorder. I start to wonder what I did that made my baby susceptible to becoming the way he did.

My head knows that unless I am on board with a research team, spending time on this is pretty much a waste of time. My head knows that the best use of my efforts are to marshal a good plan, a series of ever-changing plans, for James. Plans that can help him lead a healthy and happy life.

My heart still aches, though.

Five Cents for Life

This morning I was reading Mindy on The Mommy Blog and her push to help prevent mother and infant deaths from tetanus by making donations online. Five cents is all it takes to help get a mother or her child vaccinated. Here is her first-hand account of meeting with the people who created this program. Please consider donating and/or spreading the word. I am donating my budgeted coffee, etc. money for this week. It's not much, but what a way to use it. I will also try and get the widget in the sidebar here.

Widget:



What does this have to do with James? I sat in a room full of people just last week who were committed to helping their children with special needs as much as they could. I see parents and their children every day. I love my children so much. I see their eyes light up when they see me.

Pass it on.