One Day, You Find Yourself Here

Oh, don't I know it!

Here's to all the mamas and the papas ... everyone who loves with a special kind of love. Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

School Project: I Like This!

This came home in James' backpack as my Mothers' Day present. Woah!

Strong Love

Having James as my child has been an adventure. Our kids teach us new things and make us rediscover or see our world differently.

I've learned many lessons from both my kids - patience I never suspected I had, unconditional love I hoped I had, and how to be strong and not live in fear.

Especially so with James, who is autistic. Like many spectrum kids, he displays a complete disregard for personal awareness/safety that requires almost constant vigilance and nerves of steel. I can't tell you how many times I've seen (in my mind) his playful, laughing face looking backwards at me as he dashes out in front of a moving car and wham! seeing his light go out, and no more James. It's literally one of my worst nightmares, because we've had close calls. Every time we exit the car in a parking lot I have to remind him to wait by the car until we can walk together.

When he was younger, James would leave the house and go wandering off. Sometimes he'd stay in the yard, sometimes he'd wander down the sidewalk. I remember waking up one night and finding him standing in the darkened house right by the front door, tall and able enough to open the locks and wander outside. I've pretty much been sleeping on the sofa ever since that night.

Both my kids hated like poison to have water on their heads and having their hair washed. They freaked out in a pool or large body of water. They panicked if  anyone splashed water their way and did not like the unsteady buoyancy while in water. It's really difficult to describe the mental fortitude required to deal with these reactions to basic self care activities.

I was able to start my daughter's water safety early with Mommy and Me swim lessons. Her sensory sensitivity has not been as extreme as James'.  Still, it took over 3 years of swim lessons before she would put her head underwater.

James has been even more of a challenge to get used to water. Showers literally terrify him and he considers washing his hair as a form of water torture. I made it a point to take both kids into the pool with me during the summer. Countless afternoons we'd sit on the steps and I'd coax the down one more step, try a little splashing, and take them out into deeper water and get them used to floating with my hands supporting them. It's been a huge uphill climb and I come from a very swim-happy family. I am lucky to have had the opportunities to be persistent with water safety preparedness.

We live near a big river and like to visit the ocean, so I wanted to get them confident and learn how to be safe around water. I know that kids are attracted to water and wanted to help keep them safe. I did not know, when I started all my pool excursions, how dangerous an attraction water, wandering, and autism can be.

Sadly, I am learning (CDC report, in PDF format). Over the past week, I have read of 2 autistic children wandering off and being found later, drowned in water.

In particular, my heart goes out to a local family, the Lynches, who lost their daughter a little over a week ago. Seeing her pictures broke my heart a little. She was so obviously loved, and her quirky smile so beautiful and so like my son James'. 

   

It just kills me a little to realize she's gone so suddenly. Because that could so easily have been James. Because these special kiddos make a light in the world; they can be so difficult to manage and also so horribly missed when gone.

I know how strong my love has become for James and all his uniqueness, so I understand a little what the families are grieving and how much they have lost. This post in in support of the family of Mikaela Lynch.

If you would like to read more, please visit the FaceBook page An Outpouring of Love for the Mikaela Lynch Family, and show your support.

Best Gift of All

James' birthday was a good one. Despite it being a school day, it started with presents. We brought his cupcakes, which he helped bake & decorate, to share at school. Then we went to his grandparents' house after school, to celebrate some more and open even more presents. We'll have a party with some friends later this month.

I saw some cute pictures of James and I flipped through my recent downloads. It made me smile to see him so much more aware and happy about his birthday events than in previous years.

There were two photos that especially warmed my heart. They were of James, getting the best gift of all:

Attention and love from Big Sister. She made his card and present herself.

Look at that quiet, happy smile. He played with that all morning and then put it in his room.

These are moments I'll treasure.

Magic Marker Monday: Giftalope

Q: What can you do for a birthday present for a Dad who doesn't want you to buy him something?

A: Give him a Giftalope!

Daddy's favourite breakfast fruit, all gussied up for his birthday!
Thanks to our daughter, who is incredibly gifted in so many ways.

The smile it produced = Priceless!

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own, visit
 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

                                
 

Paging Dr. Mom ...

James had another awesome session at school yesterday with his favourite substitute aide. Unfortunately, he somehow picked up a ginormous wood sliver. That puppy was solidly embedded in his palm. As the school personnel are legally not allowed to remove slivers, James requested to self-medicate by using the iPad in the O/T room until pickup time (about 20 minutes), when Dr. Mom would be available for an afternoon appointment.

First I tried squeezing, without results. Then I tweezed of the fattest bit, closest to the opening. I had to go after the last bit with an Exacto blade, and that's when James objected (luckily, after the fact).  I was able to the extract that last devilish bit and slathered the wound with Neosporin.

Just call me Dr. Mom. I graduated by the seat of my pants from the school of Hard Knocks. I am working toward my degree in Autism by the Skin of Our Teeth.

"No Bandaids!!!"

A Love Note Most Precious

He was diagnosed with ASD. He was 2, almost 3.

Take time to mourn the loss of a dream, I was told.

They said our son might never speak verbally.

They said he was probably retarded, and might never be able to accomplish many things, including writing.

Look what our sunny kid did today in his mainstream class, along with his peers:

And you know what else? He looked me right in the eye and gave me a huge bear hug when he gave this to me. My heart is singing.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: James

I love you, buddy. Truly. Always.

A tug on the arm, a hand on my shoulder, a pat on my back ... I turn around and then see this. Every day.

For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday

Sugar in the Morning

James just came up behind me, said "You stay here with me, okay?" and kissed the back of my head before tiptoeing away again.

What a sweet thing to experience as I struggle to wake up this morning!

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Stop, In the Name Of Love

James has a new "thing" -- giving love to stop signs. They have long fascinated him because they are red, spell "go" (little joke, he never gets tired of that one), and just plain speak to him on some mystical sign level.

It's just this month that he's started wanting to hug them. He'll look up and say "Hi, Stop Sign! I give you a hug, 'kay?" before proceeding with a most sincere embrace and finishing up with a "Mmmmmmmm-ah!" kiss that touches only the air. Then he laughs, and I go all mooshy and smile.

PS: There are four stop signs on our route. Yes, he loves them all.

For more great images or to join in the fun, Visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.


and ... Wordless Wednesday

SOOC: Look of Love

James and his Nana, enjoying a quiet moment at the county fair last week ...

The Slurping Life is living in the Present. Why not take a moment to visit Melody and others to check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.





  

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: From His Heart

Last Friday was James' last day of SHAPE with one of his most special people ever. The preschool suddenly announced it was closed on that day, so we met at the park and had a kind of picnic/play celebration.

James helped make the card and write the letters, all the while chanting "I LOVE Teacher Nancy!":

Teacher Nancy has helped him feel loved and secure as he stretched his school mornings into days, dealt with the trauma of potty training, made his first efforts at writing, and helped direct him to play socially with other children. Always she was full of patience, caring, and humour. She saw James as a person who was yearning to grow and do, and she helped him do just that.

James even got himself dressed in clothes he picked out for this special day:

For more great images or to join in the fun, Visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.



and ... Wordless Wednesday

SOOC Sunday: Playing With Dad

Playing with James can be a challenge. He loves people and playing, but it seems like he has real difficulties in processing the language spoken around him. He can be a roving, wriggling bundle of energy. Exhibit A:

James loves his Daddy, even if a large amount of play time is spent playing tickle and run away.

We've kind of had a tough Father's Day this year. James is demanding a lot of attention to keep him out of mischief (electrical sockets, plugs, and putting toys in his mouth, etc.). His sister, for some reason, kept having melt downs. A little after lunch, I declared it a Jonah Day. There were some moments where I held my breath and counted 10. Even on difficult days, though, love is there.

Having read Melody's post over at Slurping Life, I don't feel so alone.

Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.

Letter for James

To my Son:

Thank you for being you. For waking up each morning with a happy smile and bringing joy to meet each day. For trying new things and making the most of them. For making friends and softening stressed faces. For chuckles and kisses. For your hugs around my neck. For the light in your eyes when you see the people who mean the most to you.

I love you, Mom

Five Cents for Life

This morning I was reading Mindy on The Mommy Blog and her push to help prevent mother and infant deaths from tetanus by making donations online. Five cents is all it takes to help get a mother or her child vaccinated. Here is her first-hand account of meeting with the people who created this program. Please consider donating and/or spreading the word. I am donating my budgeted coffee, etc. money for this week. It's not much, but what a way to use it. I will also try and get the widget in the sidebar here.

Widget:



What does this have to do with James? I sat in a room full of people just last week who were committed to helping their children with special needs as much as they could. I see parents and their children every day. I love my children so much. I see their eyes light up when they see me.

Pass it on.

Little Things & the Universe

We had a couple of days just full of little things -- my favourite! A sample platter:

• James is responding well to prompts that get him to say phrases. Occasionally, he'll pop out with one on his own. Usually "Wanna 'atch Tho-mas" and "Issa ball!" He is digging Thomas the Tank engine (really the songs) and playing with practice golf balls (PGBs).


• Playing in the sink! With salad tongs! And water! And many PGBs! And foam numbers! Literally: lather, rinse, repeat.


• Working on scissor skills. I never knew how fascinating he'd find this -- thank you, thank you, SHAPE assistant!


• Big thing: Oh, and we really might qualify for respite care and get some this summer? Where can I kiss your feet? Little thing that's really big: OMG, my husband and I can, like, go out and just look at each other and hear *nothing* -- yippee!


• James picked out the green striped shirt, not the orange one. Not hesitation, no reconsideration.


• Last, but not least: we hatched a tadpole into a frog and released him out back, under a full moon! Neil Armstrong would have liked this audience.

Biggest thing in my universe this morning: first time James said "Aihhhh yuv oo" to me when I went to get him up.