Day in the Life, or Whatever ...

Ever wonder what it's like parenting an autistic kiddo? Here's a snapshot for me today:

• My father passed away after a long illness. Peacefully, but still. We loved him, and we have Grief and Feelings.
• James is already stressing over starting a new school. Everything unfamiliar: school, buildings, district, kids, teachers.
• Thanking the Universe that a friend's son can be with James at our place, because he'd stim like crazy and raise the stress level at my parents' place.
• Emails to work, about leave, scheduling, and paperwork. Would not do to get fired.
• Text a few friends. Just a few because yeah, lack of socializing is still happening.
• Text ex, to not be surprised if a different teen boy answers the phone at my place. 
• Answer phone call from James, asking when I am coming home. Direct him to find where I left his breakfast and to came right back to the phone. Hang up phone after 5 minutes and assume he is now eating his cinnamon bread.
• Drink coffee.
• Feed cats.
• Hug waking family members, especially teen daughter.
• Feed dog and fill water bowl
• Play online Mahjongg until Hospice opens and we can arrange the rest of the day.
• Go to daughter's HS, to explain why she is missing the last day of summer school. Because it's summer school and no one is one phones in the office right now.
• Clean cat boxes.
• Drink coffee.
• Do a donut and quiche run. Because you never know.
• Watch your Mother change her mind on the phone. A lot. Admire the fact that she's still going to her cancer therapy appointment, wearing a tie-tied shirt.
• Hug your family members.
• Be the one who is crying.
• Drink more coffee.
• Take donuts and snacks to teen boys and set up the day together.
• Hug everyone, including the cat.
• Try to talk with your autistic son about what is going on and watch him slide down the hall in response. Get hugged by other teen boy who gets it.
• Drive back and void being hit by Kamakazi drivers.
• Worry about the smoke from 2 fires that bring back so many unpleasant memories from last October. And tell yourself they are NOT getting closer. So there. Not. Closer.
• Be thankful James is not here because they are cutting up a tree and shredding the limbs with gas-powered mayhem.
• Eat some chips.
• Keep up emails with new school district about coordinating the start of school and read their bilingual, 42-page newsletter.
• Water plants.
• Check bank balance and figure the bills to pay this week.
• Be on hand to help prep for the mortuary pickup.

This is just from 6:30am to 11:30 this morning. My parents' house is so quiet now.

Where We Live

I'll never get tired of turning a corner and finding things like this:

... and that's just this week. We live in a wonderful part of the world. I am glad we can share this with our kids.

Things in Places: the Good and Not So Good

While James has not exhibited typical behaviour of lining up objects as a way of playing with them, he has always liked Things in Their Places. This means that he can recite who lives or works at a city or off an exit as we drive down the freeway. He knows which of his doctors/therapists (and there are a lot of them) live/work in which city. It sometimes frustrates him that he does not know where his teacher and aide live. He has a much better idea of North, South, and how to find a place in our town than, say, his older sister. He dislikes it even more than I when Trader Joe's changes up the layout of their stores.

He LOVES Hide-and-Go-Seek. Likewise Blue's Clues. I think the reason he did not embrace Joe is because he displaced Steve from the house. His favourite bedtime stories have been a combination of hide-and-go-seek and his favourite people/tv characters. We have a lot of fun with that one. He has 3 favourite settings: Caillou's house, his grandparents' near us, and the beach house. Most of the characters have to hide in a certain spot and he won't let the story go until EVERYONE has been found.

We've tried to interest James in non-iPad play things, such as stuffed animals, toy cars, books, and building objects. Hand puppets, costumes, and drawing materials have had a pretty strong success with truly active play. The most he's done with stacking or lining up activities are sporadically holding onto recorded media. Over the past few months, however, he has started to obsess in particular over the Baby Einstein videos and DVDs that we've amassed over the years and never given away, because he still like sthem. Now they are "his" and we are immediately corrected if we call a VHS a DVD. We are expected to know which are marked "FHS" and the difference between the originals and the re-released. We have discussed at length Julie Clark: he hair (and it's length), and whether or not we can call the Baby Einstein logo Julie Clark because she drew it.

Frankly, I am up to here with Julie Clark and the Baby Einstein collection. They are better than The Teletubbies or the Wiggles, I give you that. And yes, they have turned him on to classical music, which he prefers even as his sister heads into Maroon 5, Taylor Swift, and Tween rap, for which my ears and my sanity are thankful. But I have to talk him out of taking them EVERYWHERE with him, including school and trips to the specialist in SF. The horror of losing one, or the DVD, or having one break is not to be imagined.

I'll end on a positive note: His penchant for Things in Their Places sure comes in handy when it's time to clean up his room or around the house. I can hardly wait to try him at coding.

Double Digits

Today James turns 10. It's been quite a journey.

Happy, Happy Birthday James! Love you always.