So Close ....

We are sitting in an air conditioned Starbucks near our house. Yard workers surprised us at said house with weed whackers and loud trimmers and leaf blowers. James quietly lost it. It's not the yells and screams of yore, but a quiet, constant, relentless "Mother, Mother, Mother ... please. Can we go drive on Chalk Hill Road?" ... "Mother, why are they here?" Over and over, shifting restlessly through the house, until I can feel my blood pressure rise and I can't think.

Bad time for that because I am trying to tie up loose ends, keep paying bills on time, and research finding a new home for us.

So ... plans out the window (again) and we are at Starbucks, where it's cool, free wifi is available for our Kindles, and I can try to make a couple calls. Also, there is iced tea, with lime slices.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Don't Panic.

Thank goodness I hit the gym before all this hit me. I did not work out very much, but I did get a very calming 15 minutes of Elsewhere and nice shower.

James is holding up remarkably well, with the divorce and breakup of our family. People coming and going in his life. Starting junior high and spending more time at Boys and Girls Club. He is doing a great job of letting me know what he needs.

Yes, these setbacks are frustrating as all get out. But we are still moving forward. I am proud of how far he's come.

Weekend Summary

James loves driving around town with us to look at Halloween decorations. He has a new favourite decoration to supplant the Splatty Witch: big black Halloween cats, preferably inflated.

James, his Dad, and I lay siege to his room today. Out came 2 large garbage bags of trash, a bag of outgrown clothing & shoes, and 2 bags of outgrown toys and books (to be donated to his preschool). Oh, and a rocking chair. In came another book shelf for all the books that had been tumbled about on the floor, precariously perched on some things and buried under others. James now has room to play. And get dressed. This only took the entire afternoon ...

Realization: eating french fries together with milk will now almost aways trigger an upchuck episode with James. Milk alone is not the trigger. French fries are tricky but he has eaten them solo and not been sick. Adios to this duo for a while.

Different At the Dentist

I didn't tell James that he had a dental check-up this afternoon. That's because lately every time we've driven by the office on our way to the grocery store, he's become distressed and repeated "We're not going to the dentist!!!"

I am not sure where this came from. He started off with semi-calm visits, and then last summer he got freaked out.

It could be the noise from the drills and suction devices, except that we've been watching a Mr. Bean episode with a visit to the dentist and he's laughed at them then.

I blame the seat. He did get very anxious when he was lowered back and down last time. He was very unhappy about that bright light in his face too, despite the technician putting a cartoon on the ceiling screen (the things these kids get at the dentist these days; so not what I had, let me tell you).

The dentist, as usual, was awesome, talking soothingly with him and getting him to climb up finally on the dreaded seat. She then proceeded to do his checkup with a minimum of invasive  tools. I believe she used his new toothbrush, a mirror on a handle, and the room's regular lighting. I held James' hand while she gently scraped away a small area of plaque from his lower front teeth.

The good news is that his teeth look fine and he has no cavities!

I could feel him relaxing, and at the end I thought James would go for some fluoride treatment if I put some on my finger and then applied it to his teeth. This worked so well that the dentist then applied the foam fluoride treatment to his teeth with a toothbrush. Wow! This is great news and another big first -- James has never sat still and let us apply a fluoride treatment before.

This whole visit is a great example of why I love our dentist. James' loud noises and distress did not vex her. She was very calm and positive as she kept moving him forward through his visit. She was willing to try a different way to get him his checkup. And bonus: because so many clients are special needs children, I got the scoop on second grade teachers for next year!


Savouring a melon-y fresh victory in dental hygiene and maturity!

Sensory Update

Hygiene Victory Over Sensory Distress!

I've given another bath and shampoo session to James, and again, no yelling, screaming, crying, thrashing, or tears. He even sat still and let me do a big trim number on his hair.

After, I brushed his hair several times (which is usually hard to get him to sit still and allow). I even got to swipe the extra ear wax out of his outer ear.

He is still in a good mood.

Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!

Not Surprised

I read an NPR news report about a study in South Korea that found the incidence of Autism in school children was significantly higher than anticipated.

Am I surprised? No. First, I have become used to looking at things through Autism glasses. Second, when we were filling out questionnaires for James during his diagnostic period, I noticed that there were many questions that I marked "no" for my son, but "yes" for my daughter. She had started to walk and talk by her first birthday, can do multiplication, addition, and subtraction correctly in her head, makes up stories, reads at least a grade level ahead, and asks complex questions about art, science, and life. She is very loving and affectionate and does not act out in school. She plays well with others.

She is also extremely sensitive. I could tell you tales about years of crying fits because socks have "strings" that hurt her so much she would refuse to go to school in the mornings. Tags on clothes? Ditto. Thank goodness for seamless socks and tagless shirts. She's started 2nd grade and just a couple months ago I got her to wear pants with zips and a snap. First time ever for that one.

Noises and smells seemed to overpower her, although she handles them much more "normally" now. She is still a picky eater. It took 3 years of swim lessons before she got her head wet. That means from ages 3-7, washing her hair was akin to waterboarding, in her experience.

People have asked if I had considered getting her tested for being on the spectrum. My answer so far is no, because I do not see what services she could get that could help her. This might change, but for right now, we're good. Enough.

It makes me wonder how many other children are out there, with special needs, who are undiagnosed, yet managing to cope so far on their own ...

SOOC Saturday: Signs of Spring

When we first moved into this house six years ago, my mother gave me a lot of daffodil bulbs to plant in our new garden. My daughter, who was learning to walk, helped me to plant them. Every Spring they come back as another miracle. Despite the nearby and invasive cacti, potatoes, and now lavender.

The vase is an engagement present. There are rosemary sprigs in there as well. Rosemary is for remembrance.

I need a little inspiration and remembrance of the good things right now. Our family is going through a prickly, hurtful, dry, hard time. We need our little miracles to keep us going to another day.

The Slurping Life is stormbound. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present!



  

Nemesis

Yesterday James had a complete screaming meltdown. Going to get on the schoolbus.

What in the Jungle?

The schoolbus has always made him the happiest boy in the neighbourhood!

So after it became obvious he was not going to let us sit him down in his seat, let alone ride on the bus, I told the poor driver I would bring him to school that morning. James did not stop screaming in fury until three minutes into his Time Out. During this time, he threw off his socks (I had already removed his shoes).

The culprits:


I am already frazzled from sensitive clothing issues with his sister. Time to breathe. With my eyes closed.

Epilogue: I let James choose his socks this morning. No problemos!