I don't know how it is for others, but I find that life moves in waves. Things can be going along okay and then, I get swamped. Someone gets sick, we go on vacation, stuff happens. The rhythms get disrupted and things build up. For several years, I've been building a backlog of cleaning, chores, and projects that will take several child-free years to work through (hahaha, I still am talking about it being possible to finish ... but I digress). So I've realigned expectations and try to go more with the flow, living life right now and not stressing too much about doing it perfectly or just right. Or like Everyone Else.
I also get periods where I feel overwhelmed and isolated. Stuck in a rut. I hate that. Life is not fun and the kids know that Cranky Mom is in the house. I've been working with a parenting counselor to learn some managing strategies. One thing that has really helped is talking things through with a supportive person outside our routines. I've remembered lessons I learned in college, when I had to juggle classes, extra-curricular activities, and several part-time jobs.
I remember that I can get a lot accomplished if I focus on routines, and a few, basic tasks. I remember that routines can be set to a fixed amount of time, so that I don't get too carried away. I remember the power of 20-minute naps or rest sessions.
Other things, such as Positive parenting & partner support are discussed in the ongoing counseling sessions. They are also helpful and are long-term works in progress.
Meanwhile, the kids and I have come up with some set chores they do to help keep the house clean each day, as well as take on some responsibilities for preparing for school. Having them help with bussing their meal plates, organizing their backpacks, and doing a daily pick-up around the house are already helping so much.
I started with having the kids decorate old diaper boxes. At the end of every day they do the rounds of the house, popping their socks, toys, and miscellanea into them. Then the boxes go to their rooms, and I help them put things away. If a place cannot be found for them after several days, into the garage it goes, where it will be sold or donated. After a couple weeks of this, they are now picking up without the boxes or having to refer to the charts.
I remember that I used to set up or break down an entire cafeteria in 20 minutes in college. Yes, I was part of a team, but our kitchen is a lot smaller than the cafeteria. So I tell myself it will take me 20 minutes -- tops -- to clear the table, take care of the dishes, and prep lunches for the next day. I do it in the lag time between bedtimes. I think the noise I make is like a lullaby to James, because he drops off quickly on the nights I actually do this.
My future goal is to plan a menu for the week. Scary! I am working up to it by having one or two meals planned a week to cook (quiche, spaghetti, casserole, etc.). I know the
theory behind it, but I am hanging on to the illusion of culinary spontaneity as type of freedom in my life.
Now I find that I am excited to tackle occasional projects. Last week it was washing curtains and cleaning windows in the family room. This week, it was cleaning the hall bathroom. I had to take a picture of that last one.
Ooooohhhhh .... aahhhhhhhh .... yay, Team!
