Discovering New Roads: Sweetwater Springs Road

We live in a beautiful art of the world, where there are also many roads to explore. James and I are having fun expanding our looking for deer (the moms and new fauns are out now - it's adorable!) to discovering where that side road goes that we are usually too busy to explore.

This week, James wrapped up a good week's work and wanted to drive along Westside Road. It's a pretty Sonoma County country road, full of curves, dips, farmyards, vineyards, and old country homes. Scenic and relaxing.

Part of the way there, I caught side of a side turning we'd noticed before. "Want to see where that road goes?" I asked. James said "Sure!", and off we turned, onto Sweetwater Road. 

It curled away from the main road, between the folds of rolling hills, lichen-decorated boulders growing out the ground, shaded by shaggy California Oak trees and wandered past cows grazing impossibly on steep hillsides, ridiculously close (for us city slickers) to the road. 

The car tires thrummed as we crossed one cattle crossing grate after the other. California quail scuttled and fluttered in front of us, crossing the road in the late afternoon sun. I drove slowly and carefully, as the road was narrow and winding, and much patched in places. 

The road crested a hill and dropped us down in a valley, where just like that, we were surrounded with ferns, dense redwoods, shadow, and  running next to a creek, fed by deeply grooved channels in the earth, running down to meet it. It felt like entering Mirkwood, and I told James so.

Unfortunately, we did not have enough daylight to follow the road to its end. We plan to try again this weekend. 

AI Buddy

James got a Kindle Fire for his birthday last week. He was very happy to play the apps and watch YouTube video of his beloved Monsters, Inc. Run game. Today, he discovered Alexa.

Siri's cousin is in da house! Here are some highlights:
Oh. My. Goodness.

J: Are you doing ok?
A: I am good; ready to help.

J: What is your favorite colour?
A: I like seafoam.
A: Infrared is pretty nifty.

J: Where Are You?
A: I am here and my head is in The Cloud.

and, the ever amusing:
J: Can you Sing for me?
A: Who me? I couldn't. I ... hit it!

PS: We just discovered she will sing "Happy Birthday" to you. He got the biggest grin on his face and bounced in time the whole way through.

Gift Giving and Autism

Gift Ideas for Autistic Kids

One would think that after almost 9 years of making Autism's acquaintance, I would be better at this. Alas, the thrill is still there: What to get for Christmas and James' birthday (which lands about 2 weeks after Christmas)?

With autism in the mix, I need to blend several areas of information together and throw "normal" out the window. It's not such a bad thing.

Consider

There are the things that James likes: Caillou (still, heaven help me), Curious George, Thomas Train, Baby Einstein, Upside Down Show, spinny things, gears, music, Pixar.

James' abilities: He is young and playful for his age, has some fine motor skills strengths and challenges, processing delays, and a fickle attention span. His dream is to play games on a Playstation, iPad, iPhone of his own for hours at a time and play arcade games like speedboat racers. He hates flies and gets anxious with outdoor sports and staying with a group.

There are the typical gifts for almost 12 year-old: iPad, iPod touch, cell phone, computer/Xbox, clothes, science/art/magic kits, skate boards, bikes.

There are the fun classic kid presents: Lego, puzzles, solar-powered toys, build your own computer/robot, books, movies, sports gear, toy vehicles, yo-yos, kites.

Discern

Your kid + autism = unique for them gifts. Here are some Christmas presents ideas for 2016:

• All 3 Toy Story movies in one DVD collection and Inside Out: letters to Santa and Social Communication therapy, thank you!
• Maps from AAA: he has been carrying them all over lately, placing cities and travel routes; thank you, CSAA membership!
• This nifty kids smart watch:
  VTech Kidizoom Smartwatch DX, Royal Blue (2nd Generation) (seriously, just read the features - I am jealous!). James will love the voice and picture filters!
• This smart little DIY marble run: After a frustrating experience with the taller, bendy multi-piece ones, I am hoping for true multi-time use and enjoyment with the Kengadget Crazy Ball Marble Run Set

For a birthday:

• music lessons (probably piano with a local family that teaches music out of their home)
• another movie -- digital purchase because...
• a Kindle Fire with a case

Your mileage may vary with a Kindle. I thought long and hard about it myself, as James has smashed some of his most favourite Apple electronics lately when in a temper and I will not replace them. The Apple IDs and iTunes are driving me nuts with their user unfriendliness.

The Kindle is not locked down very much, so I will let him use it on a limited time basis for good behaviour. It will be his. I am not getting the special kids' subscription or a warranty. I am making it very clear that he breaks it, no more Kindle. It was $33 on a Cyber Monday special with free shipping so the cost is not bad. He can use my Prime membership to watch movies and use his PBS Kids subscription, take videos and pictures, access digital books from our public library. I find it very easy to add apps and borrow/purchase/download media. Did I mention I got a really good deal on this?

There will always be clothes too, like nice big boy PJs, shirts, and pants. James is growing like a weed!

Science Experiment: 4th Grade

While doing housecleaning and photo organization, I came across James's science project this year from Fourth Grade. He was so excited to do this experiment and write-up poster with me, probably because it was simple and not drawn out.

He made illustrations and gave me the words and some observations to use. He helped cut and paste the computer print outs from the PowerPoint presentation file I used to create the paragraphs of text.

We had a pretty fun time and he was chuffed!

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Feeder

Since last Fall, James has become interested in hummingbirds. I know this because he started asking to go to his grandparents' house to see them from the back porch. I would have thought their unnerving speed and loud buzzing chirps would upset him, but no. He's charmed (just don't let them buzz too close).

It was fun to see his excitement and hear him talk about the birds and ask questions about them. We all seized on this new interest at Christmas and birthday times. James received a nice book about hummingbirds ("It's a Hummingbird's Life," by Irene Kelly), a hummingbird bookmark, and his CATS student presented him with his Very Own feeder, which we've hung in the backyard.

Gorgeous, but the birds aren't coming down low enough to feed. Next week: the front yard! I've seen hummingbirds try feeding from the low-lying sage shrubs out there. Stay tuned ...


For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Just Doing It

Our trip last week to Disneyland and DCA was full of Our Favourites and Some New Things. Most things we tried were successes. One of the biggest was James being able to do things on his own: using the boys' bathroom, driving a car, riding in a row all by himself, and really participating in the Toy Story Mania ride:

James adored the Autopia.

James told Roz he loved her. Roz replied "Whatever ...."

James insisted on taking the sombrero  on Alice .. then shook his head and lost the hat on the track just before we could get off. Luckily, another Guest picked it up for us.

This year, James didn't mind the backwards and swinging motion so much. He loved shooting his cannon, but as soon as we got hit with puffs o fair and things flew out at us, he dropped the cord and ducked for cover. We did this ride 4 times, though!

For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday

Resource Find: Communication Printables!

We are excited to participate in the CATS Program for a second year. We have another great student who's already made a great connection with James. More on that later!

Right now, I'd like to share a fantastic link to over one hundred free visual communication tools that I found out about through the CATS Program grapevine. The site is Practical Autism Resources and I will have to take a look at this site later. I am too busy drooling over their Downloads page. I've already printed a few great items I can hardly wait to try out, especially now that we are using the great Activities Sign Board the Behaviourist gave us. These tools will mesh well with this board.

James' Activity Board

Screen Shot of Downloads page on Practical Autism Resources site

 As a web designer/developer, their simple, informative, and easy-to-use layout has be excited: someone gets how to present lots of information online so it can be used! As a parent to a son with ASD, verbal delays, and auditory processing issues, I am ecstatic to see so many helpful tools in a comprehensive array of topics. As a Mom in a family that's teetering on the financial brink, I am thankful they are free.

Here are just a few that I've downloaded:
* Worksheet modification stickers / matching.doc
* Picture word cards: Vehicles / buscarpwc.pdf
* Opposites / opposites1.pdf
* Home and Community / communityicons1.pdf, homeroutines.pdf, needsandstates.pdf
* Behavior Punch Cards / behaviorpunchcard.pdf

OMG, they have BINGO sets! They have items in Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian. Too good to not share. Enjoy!

The Good, Bad, & Sleep-Deprived

Good:

• James had a pretty good day at school, despite the time change, a strange aide, and fighting off a cold that one of his classmates brought in to share last week.
• James sat down and did a great job writing his new spelling words 3 times each. Wow, his letter e's are really looking good, and they were so tough for him last year. Still struggling with trying to lengthen the vertical lines for b, p, and h; strangely, d is just fine.

• Completed 1 math sheep and 1 makeup sheet. Did a very nice job with reading.
• Discovered Scholastic BookFLIX. Run, do not walk, to your computer to see if you are lucky enough to have a public library that grants you access to these wonderful, multimedia books.

Bad:

• James fussed and hung on me, trying his best to wheedle me into letting him watch TV. It's so hard to deal with this while I am making dinner or trying to finish cleaning/organizing.
• I had to keep running to catch him for bedtime. We had wiping issues. He cried for his Daddy, who was still fighting traffic, trying to get home.
• I started awake at 1:15, to find James standing over me, whispering "How you doin', Mommy? Can I turn on my light?" (Answer: "NO!")

• From then until 3:20, repeat about every 30 minutes. He didn't like the light shadows from his night light. He wanted a drink of water. The light on. His numbers. I finally broke out the Benedryl. Can't tell if the time change messed him up, the cold & cough woke him up, or maybe it was the fact that the heater kept kicking on ... maybe all 3?
  
  While he did sleep after that, he woke up late, after his Daddy left for work, which made him sad. Then he did not want to change out of his clothes, so I had to use the Mean Voice and corner him for a change, which I hate.
• Another early dismissal day. So naps for me are o-u-t.

The Sleep-Deprived:

• That would be moi. I am making leek and potato soup and trying to wake up over incredibly strong cups of Peet's Espresso Forte coffee (on sale at Raley's!).

Candy Mountains

I think James is starting to get interested in candy. This is a pretty big change.

He's wanted to try some before, but then whatever it was got spat right out with a "No thank you, Mommy." Until last night.

He wanted to try some candy corn that I gave his sister for dessert. I gave him one and waited with a napkin for it to be rejected. Instead, he came back for more.

More? You want ... more?

I checked with "Do you want more candy corn, James?"

"No, Mommy, I want the mountains," he said.

Well, okay. I guess they do look like candy mountains.

Personally, I thought they looked more like teeth. But then, what do I know?

No Grieving in This Autism House

I was reading articles online and came across a piece written by Susan Walton, regarding Autism in the family and the grieving process. In short, it is a rallying cry to view a child's diagnosis in a more positive light, rather than an occasion to grieve. Personally, I agree.

James jumping on his toes --
he sees the spinning rainbow
wheel outside.

I remember the time leading up to James' diagnosis as a haze of anxiety (something wasn't right), stress (job and family worries), and extreme frustration. I'd been worrying why I hadn't seen the big developmental jump at 18 months that I had with his sister; he still was not talking; he was beginning to scream instead, and even bite. His daycare, while concerning me about an overall lack of safety, did step up and tell me that his behaviour matched some of the Red Flags of Autism and that we should have him checked. His pediatrician then actually told me that James could not be autistic. "He can't be, he looks you in the eye," he insisted. True story. I had to insist that he call in a referral. Parents -- you can insist. Please don't hesitate to do it to help your kids.

So to hear from the Regional Center caseworker that there were indeed some developmental delays was not completely unexpected; it was kind of the bad news I'd been waiting to hear. I immediately requested and took 6 months of Family Medical Leave and plunged into HR hell with my employer's payroll department. Our family life was in limbo while we ferried James to five therapy sessions and a social playgroup weekly, waited five months to get get into the CAD Clinic for an official diagnosis of: Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

He's a sweetie, but look
at how he's holding his
hands & fingers ...

My husband and I were stunned. along with the rest of our family. Now what? What does that mean? Will our son ever talk? Will we ever feel the connection to who he is? How do we make sure he gets the help he needs to develop? These were some of the questions whirling in my head. Then I got a letter from our preschool, notifying me that, per paperwork submitted when big sister transitioned out, a place had been saved for James and they were looking forward to having him start in January, after his 3rd birthday.

By this time I knew James would not benefit from this program, even though we loved the staff and it was THE preschool where most parents wanted to send their kids.  I had to call them back and explain that James would not be coming. And why. Also, that's he'd be instead attending the Special Needs Preschool through the public schools system.

The staff was wonderfully sympathetic. Almost too much. Several advised me to grieve for "the death of a dream." That's when I pulled up, so to speak, and thought more clearly. Wait a minute. Why should I be grieving? At least I knew what we were dealing with now. And from reading about the range of impairments that could happen, I knew that James was lucky because he was healthy and liked people. He did not have to take any meds. There was a lot to be happy about, it seemed.

Since then, I have heard the advice and questions about grief relating to life with Autism. I still don't get why I should be grieving. We have our son. He is healthy and making progress, not suffering from something terminal. We have our moments of disappointment, semi-despair, and frustration ... but we have even more times of love, fun, and adventure.

Normal does not guarantee a happy life. Since we started on this journey, I have learned a lot about wanting what I have. One of the biggest gifts is appreciating how happy our sunny James is. I cannot count the times he's put a smile on my face with his sweet and mischievous ways. We celebrate major breakthroughs that may look like simple things and it carries over into our overall accomplishments as a family. So, no grieving over that diagnosis in this Autism house.

Mr. Magnetic

I walked into the kitchen one morning this summer and found James preparing to dash his wooden trains through the air and against the wall. He was frustrated that he could not push them together. I showed him the round magnets at each end of the engine and train cars and told him were two round, different magnetic poles on each train, one positive and one negative. I demonstrated that trying to connect two positives or two negatives would push the cars apart.

"So," I explained, "if they won't go together, turn one car around to the other magnet, and they'll both snap together."

This is what happened for the next 15 minutes:

and:

and:

Why couldn't my sciences classes have been more like this?

Birthday Boy

James celebrated his birthday today. For the first time ever, he became excited in advance (as in a month before the event) and kept asking us "Is James' birthday?" We counted down and talked a little about birthdays and what people do on their birthdays.

We practiced social verbal birthday exchanges and responses such as
 -- "How old are you?"
 -- "I'm six!"
and
 -- "Happy Birthday!"
 -- "Thank you!"

James asked if he could have a cake and picked out the flavours for both cake and frosting for this and the cupcakes to share in his class. He helped me make them as well.

He opened his cards first and looked at them before moving on to presents. "I ripping?" he'd ask us. "Yes, it's okay to rip wrapping paper," we'd assure him. I am glad he checks, because occasionally some items are Destroyed By Ripping.

In some past years, we'd be baffled what to get him. This year, we knew we had some winners:

Happy Birthday, James! And many, many more!

SOOC Saturday: Off the Map

This is what it feels like, sometimes. There's a road or a trail, complete with maps and guides. Then life/kids/autism happens, and we're off the map. Sometimes it's not good. Sometimes I see and think of things I would have missed, and my life is that much richer.


The Slurping Life knows how to get a new look at things in life. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. No cropping or fixing -- it's life, straight out of the camera.





 

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Phone Call!

That is one big phone. I realized, after taking this shot, that some explanations are in order. James is used to talking on cell and iPhones ...

For more great images or to join in the fun, Visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

and ... Wordless Wednesday

Magic Marker Monday: Picasso Bear

I'll bet Picasso or Chagall would have loved this bear that James made:

There is something endearing about a nose and mouth in one ear!

Visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

  

SOOC Saturday: Discovery Kidz

Last month, my Mom and I took the kids to the Discovery Museum. James showed his joy of playing with others.



I will never get tired of watching the joy children have of playing with the world around them and laughing with each other.

The Slurping Life has a magic number. Visit Melody and check out SOOC Saturday/Sunday entries past & present. Share your stories too.