Self Care Refocus

So, after a period of falling off the self care wagon, I am doing better at psyching myself up and mentally organizing getting James to practice more self care skills.

He's been really good about taking out garbage and getting himself ready for school (as in dressed and lunch made in time to meet the school bus).

Today we were able to hit a double header out of the park: Laundry and a bath. And when James punched the dryer bottom for the bottom dryer with his clothes in the top unit, he was able to come back upstairs to tell me right away and we fixed it together.

The bath water was warmer than usual - I think he needs warmer water to relax more in the bath. He seemed to appreciate it. He even stayed in a few minutes longer than the agreed-to 10 minutes of soaking. l think this bath broke a record for smoothness in operation and start to finish was very close to the 20 minutes I told him it was take (as opposed to a memorable bath that took about an hour just to get him sitting in the water in the tub. Amazing!).

I have secret hopes of hair washing tomorrow.

So Proud

James is receiving grades for the first time. I received a photo and text on my phone from his aide this week. Someone got a 3.6 GPA.

This is the boy who kept his speech therapist guessing for over six months whether he would ever talk. The child who some special educators assured me was intellectually incapable of learning or doing math. The guy once labeled trouble, disruptive, and literally put out in the hall and otherwise sidelined against his abilities and legal rights to suit school administrators until his family and support team stepped in to back him up.

His learning and communication are unique. He is unique. So proud he is still learning and growing.

April 2, And I See Blue

World Autism Awareness Day is April 2, 2016

How has your Saturday been going? I have spent mine doing errands, taking care of groceries, errands, and clean up. James is enjoying Little Einstein videos, because they discuss music and musical instruments. We played Red Ball off and on.

Why this post? 

If you don't have anyone in your life who is autistic, you may not be aware that April 2 is a kind of world-wide call to action about a developmental issue that is may look invisible, but will be a significant part of our futures.

What do I mean by calling autism invisible?

Well, autism tends to not have physical deformities. Autism presents differently for each person. For some, there is not a whole lot to see. Examples:

• James is now doing his homework with only verbal prompts! He is 11, and his homework is basic arithmetic (this year -- last year he was doing long division, but that is a big digression) and his reading choices are pretty much "Green Eggs and Ham," "Where the Wild Things Are," and "Captain Underpants." I will supplement with multiplication tables and Chrestomanci, but am thrilled that this is the year he tackles homework without my being there right beside him.
• James is becoming more independent, doing his laundry, taking out garbage, and helping me do the grocery run and pick up around the house. These are life skills that take perseverance to make into habit, and we were  told a couple times he'd never be able to do this. We tried anyway, and will continue to do so. Money is a tough nut to crack.
• Last week, James was able to tell a family friend about a tough day he had at school. Because of his language delays (We were told after 6 months of speech classes that he might be non-verbal), this is huge. James started speech therapy at the age of 2 and continues to receive it at school. With his participation in a social communications class at the Swain Center, he is finally beginning to be able to let people know how he is feeling.
• This morning, I took James with me on a breakfast errand, as he wakes up happy and bouncy. His teen sister needs a peaceful wake-up. It is a fact that siblings of kids on the autism spectrum need to be remembered, and have their needs met too. It can be sadly too easy to lose sight of, amidst IEPs, appointments, and other worries. I plan special time with my daughter because we both enjoy it and we both need a break from autism idiosyncrasies. 
• I have to make a to do item to call, text, or email my friends. Autism can be very isolating. I can't do a Girls' Night Out or cannot attend many social events due to sensitivities and other issues. Movies are either in-home or Sensory-Friendly theater showings. Eating out can be  nerve wracking.

All this to say ... please consider that autism is alive and growing. Legislation for Autism continues to be debated. Healthcare reforms for autistic patients come and are challenged. Every 11-20 minutes, a parent or family's life take a sharp detour with a diagnosis of autism. As many families tend to fall off the social radar of many friends and family, they become unseen.

Autism will affect you, either directly or indirectly. The current large swell of previously diagnosed children are fast growing up, along with James. The benefits of early intervention are many, but what will their futures be? It is my hope that autistic adults will find their places in their communities, making a life working with others in places like the supermarket, schools, and local businesses.

Thank you, President Barack Obama, for recognizing World Autism Awareness Day.

What can you do? Be supportive of those friends or families sealing with autism. Recognize that legislation relating to IDEA, Regional Centers, and healthcare affect not only you, but also those largely unseen, growing numbers of individuals with special needs ... and send an email or make a phone call when voices are needed to continue services and programs that are designed to help them be as independent as possible.

Science Experiment: 4th Grade

While doing housecleaning and photo organization, I came across James's science project this year from Fourth Grade. He was so excited to do this experiment and write-up poster with me, probably because it was simple and not drawn out.

He made illustrations and gave me the words and some observations to use. He helped cut and paste the computer print outs from the PowerPoint presentation file I used to create the paragraphs of text.

We had a pretty fun time and he was chuffed!

Slow 'n' Go

It's winter. Holidays for me are over until May. February, a typically gloomy month, approaches. My energy is long gone, but work, obligations, and challenges remain.

On the bright side: had some success with James, using images from his biofeedback sessions. I think bringing out the box with the home enema kit in it was the stronger motivator but having the biofeedback to talk about made a really good start.

Trying to keep positive, as I keep trying to move forward.

Thought for This Rainy Day

found on Pinterest. 100% accurate.

Yes, I can. And this is what I imagine James says a lot to himself. 

Because he is talking, in a regular classroom, and partaking in learning and doing. So much more than we were told to expect he could.

Never give up believing in your child and what they can do.

Open House Whirlwind

End of year is a crush of activities and events for the kids and their schools. Visiting James' classroom was a treat.It was fun to see projects I'd seen part way through completion and some surprises.

James is sitting at his aide's table, pretending to be her.

I loved the sea/tide pool theme. It matched the play they'd recently put on. The blue file cards contain wishes the kids wrote down for their world. Awesome!

The play! James was a lobster (left, or stage right)

Picasso project

Epilogue: Field Trip

Sounds like it was a complete success. Mom was a big worry-wart for nothing.

James went with his aide, a notebook with activities I made in it, his school's yearbook, and a friend's mom helping keep a weather eye out for him.

He came home overflowing with information about the solar system and the fun bus ride. When I came to pick him up at his Nana's house, he was zooming about, looking for Clues!!!

Even this morning, watching his face alight with excitement to be off on a trip with his classmates while pulling on the class t-shirt, I knew it was going to be okay.

PS: Heck, even the weather cooperated!

Spelling Out Perception

Words and James have been fickle friends. For almost a year, I wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to verbally communicate. For many years after that, his words and speech were difficult to understand. James had extreme difficulty in holding a pencil, let along writing. 

This year, a lot of hard work from us all is paying off. James is expanding his expressive and social verbal skills. In a recent questionnaire, he said what he most wanted to learn in school is "vocabulary." 

Spelling homework, however, is still the bane of his homework experience. His teacher and aide do a nice switch-up throughout the week. Writing the words multiple times, sorting them alphabetically, creating sentences with them ... it's still tough to shepherd him through the practice ... and keep him in his seat!

James' wonderful aide makes him little spelling cards every week. He keys in on the colours and traces over her letters in pencil. They can sound out the components of the words together.

Spacing and control have also been issues for James. This year, we focused on getting him to start practicing spelling on binder paper. His O/T said that it was hard for him to visually keep track of the faint blue lines -- that was why his writing rolled like an oscilloscope. So I started to rule the binder paper with pencil, and when that was still not enough, black marker. And when the words get longer (and his patience shorter), I add smaller pencil lines for each letter. 

James is a visual guy. He does well on his spelling tests and has progressed from 6 words a week to 20. He loves reading signs aloud with the enthusiasm of a first grader whose world just grew another dimension: Words.

Breakthough

Over the past couple of months, James has become more interested in playing with other boys from his class. This is an exciting first.

First I heard the boys' names from James at home. I asked his aide, who told me I was hearing their names properly and that they were good kids who played football at recess. James watched them as the weeks passed. I heard when someone got "hit" and someone ran after the ball.

Then James moved closer, onto the field. Once of twice, they boys got carried away with their game and "hit" him as they bumped into him.

Today I heard that today, James chose playing with his classmates with some touch football over computers.

One of those sweet breakthrough moments that I intend to savour.

Tackle It Tuesday: Yard Helpers

This past weekend, as I was struggling to wake up enough to drink my coffee, the kids were pinging off the walls. That's how my daughter wound up making pancake batter from scratch from the first time. It's great that both kids are old enough to learn how to do more things by themselves.

James kept begging me to download yet another Minion App for his iPad.
 - "Not unless you do a chore," I told him. "That app costs money."
 - "Yes!" he cried. "I do a chore! I'm gonna get a Minion app!"

Okey-dokey, time to come up with a chore he can do with minimal supervision ...

I told James he could rake the back lawn, but that he first needed to change out of pjs and into clothes. He took off for his room at warp speed. I took this opportunity to suck down half a cup of coffee.

James' sister, meanwhile, was starting to ask if she could do a chore. She suggested sweeping the back patio and I took her up on her offer, directing her to first change into work clothes.

To make a long story short, we spent over an hour in our backyard, raking, sweeping, and tidying away a whole summer's worth of stuff. During rest periods, we'd drink some water and talk about what we'd tackle next. By 10:30, we'd filled a green garbage bin and learned more about the arts of raking, sweeping, and sorting discarded items among our 3 waste bins.

As the fruit trees' leaves are just starting to turn colour and fall, there will be ample opportunities to become proficient at these tasks.

Do you have a project or accomplishment to share?  Head on over to....

Tackle It Tuesday: Math Managed

This is more a tackle and score for James than for me. A few months back math was his nemesis, bringing more behavioural issues than answers. Touch Math was being offered up, as well as a number line that ran vertically.

Well, long story short. I don't think touch math is The Answer for James. There are too many touch and steps. I questioned the vertical orientation of the number line, which was literally a 90° change from the left-to-right horizontal lines he'd been using for the past 2+ years.

In stepped a new aide with a strong visual and graphic design background (also a deep understanding of dyslexia). She made special math flash cards for him. Now, voila! James did a sheet of 35 addition questions all by himself!

His new aide also discovered a great motivator: a white board ($1 at the Dollar Store). While James knows his addition facts to at least 20, the board motivates him to keep working on his sheet until he's finished all the problems.

Awesome. Unless you've had to watch your child struggle for years, it's hard to grasp how something so simple can seem like a mountain, and conquering it can move you to tears.

How about you? What did you accomplish? Are you looking for inspiration?
Click the image below to

Magic Marker Monday: Marble Run!

We saved this beauty for James' 8th birthday last month: a marble run. He loves them in stores and you can continually build/rebuild the runs.

Now, it took me the better part of an afternoon to figure out that the cryptic instuctions were for several different designs and never finished a single one, but about 90 minutes in I was getting the hang of it. James helped hand me parts and was so excited to watch it all come together. He also got to test the runs to make sure they would actually work.

Was all the hassle worth it?

 
Oh yes! He's unplugged and playing with this marble run several times a week.


For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own, visit
5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

                                 
 

Mysteries - With Extra Fruit!

I am trying to figure out a puzzle that looks like this:

A pencil, a bag, some gum, and a conundrum.

James brought this home in his backpack on Friday. I asked if someone had a birthday in his class and he said "Yeah." Then I unpacked his communication notebook and discovered these were really rewards for hard work.

Yay for rewarding hard work! Um, but what kind of hard work? No clue.

James chose his prizes. The pencil with numbers on it makes sense. He likes and uses both. But the gum I can't fathom. To my knowledge, he's never tried it.  And he's ignored it since it arrived home with him.

I'll keep trying to get James to explain this to me. Push come to shove, I'll ask his aide. It's a little thing, but the unanswered questions about his day are nagging at me.
 

Tackle It Tuesday: New Seat

Disclosure: I hate dealing with toilets. Too many have malfunctioned in my past and I view them with extreme trepidation. This explains, in part, why a brand-new toilet seat sat unused in its box for a good 8 months.

However, this recently changed. In a flutter of nervous activity, and extreme embarrassment that our old seat, which, while cushy and resplendent with butterflies on the lid, presented a cracked and scratchy experience to all users, I forged ahead to change out the lid.

Now if I am attempting something for the first time, I dither too much and worry I am not going to do it the PERFECT way and/or destroy that which I am trying to do. This is where Google and self-helpers online save me. I entered "how do I change a toilet lid?" into Google's search field and voila!

Folks, it doesn't get much easier than this.

Here are the simple steps it took to upgrade our bathroom experience:

Pop the screw covers with my fingers and use wrench to start loosening the screws with the raised tabs.
Fare the well, beautiful butterflies!

Screws removed. I used the wrench on top, and then my fingers above and below the head of the screw.
I then removed the toilet and screws.

New lid. different seat/lid combo, or I would have preserved the original butterfly lid.
The tabs on the screw heads were indented, so I used a screwdriver and my fingers (to tighten the washer underneath).

Fini: smooth, yet boring toilet seat & lid.

I was so proud and excited! I did it - I vanquished my fear of toilets and made a good improvement. The kids, however, assured me they liked the other seat better. It went "whoosh" when you dropped onto it, and it was not hard and cold, like the new one.

I told them they were welcome to find and buy a new toilet seat, and I would then install it. They've been more appreciative.

What did you tackle and accomplish? Do you need some encouragement or inspiration to tackle a project? Check out on Tackle It Tuesday over at 5 Minutes for Mom. They have a great post this week about preparing for a garage sale. I am taking notes, as we need to do that too.

Summer Reading - Done

School starts two weeks from now. Let me just say: "YIKES, that was fast!"

Last week James finished up his Summer Reading list. Seems like just the other day we were filling out that form to get him started! Below are the last two books we read together, and his list from the summer:

"Soon, Baboon, Soon," by David Horowitz:

Interesting cover; I think James liked his nose and the hi-hat.

End papers; I kind of wish they had kids' curtains in this pattern.

Love all that energy ... and then there's Mr. Sad Baboon ...

The artwork was engaging, with it's bright colours and fun with onomatopoeic text. James did love reading those words and identifying the instruments. The end left him smiling too. Not a lot of challenge, but it engaged him, and was still good practice reading.


"Thump, Quack, Moo - A whacky adventure," by Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin:

James zoomed in on the hammer; ever since he won that raffle, he's become interested in tools

This page made me a little nervous - James loves to cut things with scissors and almost no common sense.
Still, reading is reading, right?

Love this picture. It feels familiar -- James as the mischievous duck and Farmer Mom, mapping out plans that gang quack a-gley. Seriously, I am heck-bent on plotting for his success for James to live an independent life, and I need to remind myself that he has his own list of wants and ideas that should be consulted.

James lost interest in this book here and there. He did love all the animals using tools and liked to join in the chorus of "thump, quack, moo!" There is a nice little surprise fold-out page at the end. Fun for me but I had to try and explain it to James. National icons are a bit too abstract for his interest at this stage, shall we say. He did like the fold-out page.


So thanks, library -- we enjoyed your summer reading program yet again! James got to pick out a book of his very own as a prize for completing his reading. It was an easy reader chapter book and had a soccer ball on the cover. He grabbed it and I haven't seen it since he started rifling the pages in the car. If I find it, I'll try and post it later.

Here is his list -- including his own writing:

Love drawings like these!

Dreaming Big, all summer long!

Here's the list:

1. Lola Reads to Leo
2. The Duck Who Played Kazoo
3. Spot Can Count
4. We Were Tired of Living In A House
5. Cubes, Cones, Cylinders, and Spheres
6. Soon, Baboon, Soon
7. Thump, Quack, Moo

First Group Swim Lesson

What's new and exciting this week? Well, for starters:

For the first time, James is in a group swim lesson, just like his big sister has been doing for years!

While James still has trouble focusing, keeping both hands on walls, and putting his head close to the water, he's also more game to try things than a lot of first timers. Here he is, kicking on a board on his tummy ...

... and his first attempt on his back:

Looks like he's off to a good start!

They Learn From Us

James had an unsettled session of summer school this morning. He yelled and said "NO!" when spoken to by teachers. After writing, he balked at doing any work. He was supremely unconcerned about listening and following directions.

When I picked him up, there was his checklist waiting, with a list of sad faces.

First, I had him apologise for yelling at the teachers. Then I told him we would discuss his day at home and maybe write a note to his teachers. That we would try again tomorrow and have a better day. This sounded like a Plan to us all.

So after lunch I had James sit down and write a note to all his teachers:

"I am sorry I yelled. I will try to listen (up at top) more."

I then asked the kids to do an offline activity while I ate my lunch and checked my email. While doing this, I found an email that indicated a payment that I did not remember making - panic attack.

James' big sister decided to help out by telling James it was time to play KJS. As he kept asking "What you doing, Mommy?" and "I'm right here! Who you talking to?" while I was trying to straighten things out over the phone, I could hear his sister saying "James, you need to pay attention, or you're going to get an unhappy face!" And he listened!!

They went into a bedroom and played KJS;  his sister later informed me that his earned all smiley faces. I love those kids to pieces. We are now going swimming as a reward. The email/financial issue? Resolved, thank goodness!

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Just Doing It

Our trip last week to Disneyland and DCA was full of Our Favourites and Some New Things. Most things we tried were successes. One of the biggest was James being able to do things on his own: using the boys' bathroom, driving a car, riding in a row all by himself, and really participating in the Toy Story Mania ride:

James adored the Autopia.

James told Roz he loved her. Roz replied "Whatever ...."

James insisted on taking the sombrero  on Alice .. then shook his head and lost the hat on the track just before we could get off. Luckily, another Guest picked it up for us.

This year, James didn't mind the backwards and swinging motion so much. He loved shooting his cannon, but as soon as we got hit with puffs o fair and things flew out at us, he dropped the cord and ducked for cover. We did this ride 4 times, though!

For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.






               and ... Wordless Wednesday