When Time Is An Illusion

 "After Work", Doubly So

It's 7:00 PM. A full day of school for James, work for me. Then we had a home ABA session for 3 hours (yay!). After this I scarfed down dinner and hopped on to Zoom. I cannot diss Zoom. It's changed the game for me. I can now attend meetings I had to miss before (no time to drive or respite for James), doctor appointments (for my family, without using all my hard-earned PTO - recently, I can start scheduling care for ME), Tonight it's a presentation on IEPs. 

That's right. The lady with 14 years of IEP experience is watching an online presentation on the thing that is the partial cause of silvering tresses and sleepless nights. Because, hey - it's not like I was able to do this before. Who knows? I could learn something.

We are 15 minutes in and already bad flashbacks to 3 years ago But hey, then I feel better that my responses were warranted and that, eventually, James' legal right to access services were upheld. 

This is a very good program. There are parents and professionals online from all over the Bay Area and as far away as Fresno! I am so glad these are happening - I wish I had been able to attend a session like this when I was just starting out (although several teachers and administrators were very helpful).

Big shout out to the language - from the alphabet soup of acronyms to understanding nuances between "appropriate" and "best".  Great job discussing functional needs and related services. "Least restrictive environment" - always a goodie. Transitional IEPs - just when you think you've got it, a twist. 

And I did learn new things - ESY (extended school year) is any time outside of regular, scheduled school hours (in other words, it's not just summer school/session - it can cover weekends, breaks, or after school, if the district has resources for that). And schools have 10 days to come up with a response to continue services within 10 days of an emergency condition (of which we've had several over the past few years).

If you want more information, I highly recommend contacting the agencies who coordinated and put on this event:         

         

It's close to 8:30 and is my day over? Not really. I am James' caregiver, and he is testing the doors when he should be doing his bedtime routine. I will remain on duty until he's safely in bed. And then sleep light.

IEP via Zoom a la COVID-19 in 2020

 So James' triennial IEP was last month. Assessments were largely done online, with some phone calls. Because of COVID-19 and lack of guidelines for IEP testing and enforcement during a pandemic, this all happened very close to the IEP meeting. Legally, this all needs to be set up and results and proposed goals available two weeks in advance of the meeting. Normally the meeting and attendees are set. I hardly ever get the test results and proposed goals before I sit down at the meeting table, but that is another story. 

 In fact, with 10 days or less before the meeting, I still did not have confirmation that it was happening and who was attending. I had to call to to confirm this, as I had to plan my remote work schedule and PTO requests. The interview call with the teacher was 2 days before the IEP. 

I get it. Normally, I have notes prepared about how James is doing right now, where he needs support, and thoughts about goals for the coming year - not rubber stamping goals, actual helpful, educational goals. This year I had almost nothing.  

I was so nervous, because James' placement is up for discussion each year now. Luckily, this was renewed for the school year and what I still call Summer School. The meeting participants joined the Zoom call. It was one of the quickest meetings I have had for James. We are all iffy on the ability to set and monitor effective goals but we are giving it our best shot. I can always call for a meeting later to discuss or ask for amendments. 14 year into this and we are still establishing baselines ... 

Tonight, 49 pages and an attachment file with notes and questions, I have reviewed, signed, and returned, with comments/questions. I am exhausted.

Fall 2019 IEP - The Idyllic One

James' annual IEP was last Monday. For the first time in a loooooooong time, I did not stress, request backup, or have a lawyer in tow. Goals and testing were shared with me prior to the main event without my asking for them. Adjustments were made per pre-discussion with his teacher.

It was a welcome change - to come in the room, know they players, review testing, performance, and goals while knowing that the school has really been looking at James and his abilities. He still has a lot of supports due to his challenges and loss of skills after years of turmoil across 4 campuses and 2 school districts.

The school asked if I'd be open to functional behavioural testing. I have been begging the schools for this since 5th grade and it's been dismissed as unnecessary. So heck yes, let's do that.

The teachers and therapists all approached his IEP with good things to say about James, despite all his testing behaviours and difficulties in keeping him in the classroom. After each goal was announced, there was a brief discussion, a look my way, and "agreed" from me. I asked only a few questions for clarification, shared some insights missing, and suggested one additional goal, which was adapted with enthusiasm. We got this thing snapped along and finished within 90 minutes.

Last year it took 10 months across 3 different campuses to finish James' IEP. This included lengthy legal action on both sides. I wanted this IEP to be an opportunity to pull focus on where James is now, and a fresh start to build a strong foundation for him so he can live as independently as possible. I think this IEP did a good job setting this up.

I feel like Anova, James' new school, has our back, and I am savouring the moment.

Out Like a Lion

This month started off just trying to push through until Spring Break. Then there was Spring Break! Then we got sick ...

Now in the last days of March, we have started ABA intake and at the most recent Triennial IEP meeting (which has been ongoing since September) I signed a release form for the school district to discuss placement outside of the public school district. Both of these developments make me want to roar - because it has taken a lot of work to make them happen.

ABA can help get James support to learn self care, from brushing his teeth to taking baths on his own initiative. It can include social events and opportunities. It means James and I get a break from each other. It means James gets help learning life skills to become independent.

Better placement for school goes a long way to my peace of mind for James' future, after disappointments and broken promises over the past 2 years.

Yes, I want to roar. Finally, help for James! Who is grrrrreat!

More Of This

I wish this could be shared with special needs parents who need support and encouragement, and at staff trainings for all schools, preschool through high school.

My takeaways yesterday from the emergency IEP yesterday:

• The importance of parents of autistic kids having confidence, overall, with their relationship with their little ones, their kids, their teens. 
• It is amazing to me (again) how many trained professionals (their terms, I am not randomly labelling them) know so much less than I do about working with special needs kids, and mine in particular. This is not a put-down. It's a call for collaboration.
• The impact and results from people coming together to talk and listen to each other to solve a situation that is not working for both groups can be extremely profound.
• That parents being advocates sometimes needs to include being the one who teaches others and keeps the focus of a support group on track.
• NEVER underestimate the importance of telling others who your child is, especially if, like James, they lack the communication skills to do so.  

We had one of the best meetings so far with this district. I could feel the change taking place in the energy in the room. I felt it most acutely after telling the group this:

James is, basically, a happy guy. He's funny and smart. He wants others to be happy. He wants to be like his peers and he will reflect what is modeled before him. He cannot communicate verbally all the things going on inside his head or his emotions. This is a large part of why he exhibits behaviours.

I felt listened to. It was energizing. I hope that my listening to their struggles and attempts to support or give advice for them were helpful too. In the end, our reason for being in that room was for James, as it should be, and I think that's going to be the start of a change for the better.

DEFCON 2: Emergency IEP

As a special needs parent, I feel my lowest alert for school and things in general is a DEFCON 4.

With the new school and lack of supports, we hit DEFCON 1 in September and October. Since the move to the newest school with a good aide, it got stepped back to DEFCON 3.

Recently, the aide left without warning, and the situation has deteriorated to DEFCON 2 and an emergency IEP meeting.

Why does this keep happening?

Why are our schools still so unaware of how to work with our kids as students?

I go in at the start of the school day. I don't know how it well end. Then I clear my head and go to work. Welcome to my Friday.

PS: Still not done with the triennial IEP that started in September.

Shabam! Fall. Triennial IEP. Too Much.

Counting down to James' triennial IEP. So not looking forward to it. He is supposed to be in 5th grade. Everything has been coming home marked "4th Grade." I am being told that everything is blended. Indeed? Why is it all marked 4th grade? When did who decide to hold him back him a year? Because I sure as heck was left out of that loop.

James is pretty happy. They have him doing 2nd grade math that he mastered 2 years ago, adding 4 addition math problems a night. He had been doing long division last year. He is playing games on the computer a lot. Gah!

The ElastiMom Mantra Explained

Fall is here, bringing milder weather and the promise of some rain and relief from our high threat of fire. James is excited for Halloween. He will be the only trick-or-treater from our household this year. For a change, he has decided he wants to be Mr. Incredible (and so he is!) -- I am thinking we can get away with using his Incredibles PJs and some long red pants ...

Life keeps throwing my tough things. I wish I could be like Elastigirl and be Super Flexible and punch out the IEPs. I wish I had Edna Mode on my side. She could make me an ElastiMom Super Suit to wear to the IEP meeting and prevail for my kiddo.

This IEP Is Beginning to Feel a Lot Like ...

On Friday after school, the Services Coordinator gave to me: a big manilla envelope - 12 pages of a pre-IEP.

                                                      image borrowed from specialneeds.com

On Saturday I opened an envelope addressed to me; it contained results from James' CAPA test (the first to me I believe I have seen).

On Monday, while at work, two phone calls rang through to me:
 - The Behaviourist with clarification questions so she could bring recommendations to the table.
 - James' OT Therapist, full of encouragement for the tasks of which James was able.
    Who also notified me of his notes and the student OT respresentative, who'd take his place at
    the IEP and keep the meeting stable.

At pickup time on Monday, James' aide did share with me: funds were needed for a party; he was short on milk money; and he loved his music class and listened to Vivaldi.

Paperwork, money, presents, stress, get togethers, anticipation, trying to hold on to messages of hope ... this meeting is reminding me a lot of the holidays.

IEP For Fourth Grade

James' annual IEP is next week, and so far I am relieved at the communication beforehand. It's rather organic this time around, and with a new team on a new campus. It's rather refreshing because they seem to be looking at James, rather than a standardized checklist.

t-shirt from zazzle.com

There was no issue with changing the date of the IEP (their request this time and they asked if it worked for me too), which right away made me feel better, There's been communication back and forth. When I wrote a note this week, asking to have a behaviourist added to the meeting to address the recent bathroom issues, I got a phone call 2 days later from the services coordinator to go over ideas she and the behaviourist had come up with and asking for input. I will hopefully get a look at a draft of the IEP before the meeting, which would really help.

AND: she shared with me that they have bought noise-cancelling headphones, especially for James, to help filter out noise and help him stay in the classroom and focus on his work. This, compared to the last 2 years? I think I've died and gone to IEP heaven.

Third Grade: Allegro Tempo

Another school year is not so much winding down as it is rushing to the finish line: field trips! Plays! Open House! Teacher and Staff Appreciation! All the field trips we wanted to take this year but couldn't because we were cramming for the state exams!

And for James' school district: Campus tours! Because our home district is almost completely cluster schools. This will be my first campus with NO prior experience. If I wasn't so busy, I'd be a wreck (but I'd probably have already toured the campus and requested a teacher). Open house for this campus is this week. I am so there.

Extra topping for James: Transitional IEP. OMG, I cannot believe they actually brought to the table the suggestion that he go straight to the special day class. I was, however, gratified that most of the room  shot it down decisively. Very politely too.

The rest of the meeting was spent going over his aide's notes,  me advocating for his wonderful aide for next year and reminding the group that all the wonderful First Grade notes were completely ignored with disastrous results during the last campus transition to Second Grade. It was a pleasure to hear how each person talked positively about James, and I have food for thought for the coming Fall IEP, as well as some serious academic homework.

I feel so incredibly lucky that he had a strong, creative, and supportive teacher for this entire school year. His classmates have been a mom's dream come true: inclusive, inquisitive, energetic, and generous. His aide has been an essential partner to James' success in school. She gets that he's a visual learner, smart, and wants to engage with his peers. She's a fun person to be around, and all the kids love her. In consequence, James has really grown socially this year, and I loved discovering more of his personality coming out.

Still advocating for my guy, who learned from those around him and is still most motivated to be with and doing the things kids his own age do. Hoping for the best for next year. And enjoying this one, while it's still here.

Crazy Busy

My husband is starting a new job, my daughter has joined the volleyball team, I am coordinating a big class fundraiser, prepping for James' IEP -- his TRIANNUAL IEP (and they are asking if he can be a case study for a student and suggesting a new test for him), preparing to jump into the CATS Program for another semester, and fighting off a cold.

Good day to pick up extra shifts at school! I am job hunting without a lot of luck so far. I am trying to find part-time so I can be here for the kids as well.

Ah, that reminds me -- I have another web project cooking for some clients. Good project, good folks. I am excited to be working on this.

However, it's been extra crazy busy lately!

So I pause to fondly remember a lazy couple of hours at our Farmers' Market yesterday morning. My daughter and I met friends, strolled the market sampled some delicious food (pain au chocolat for her and part of a divine berry tart for me), and kicked back:

sourdough ficelle from Panorama Baking

and that goes for Sunday, too!

beautiful zinneas

playing with Shelby

Momming Up for Transitional IEP #3

Forget manning up, it's time to Mom-up! Time to channel my anxiety, protectiveness, and love for my Getting Bigger guy in a positive way. Oh I've prepped for IEPs (exhibits A, B, C, D) -- what makes this one different?

Well, it's a transitional IEP from K-1 to grades 2-3. Time for James to be handed off from his current team of teachers, school staff, and services staff to a largely new team, because all the campuses are cluster schools in our district. This means that all the classrooms for a grade level are at ONE particular school/campus. Because of the way our district has grown, all the kids have two years at one campus before moving on to a different campus, usually found across town from the previous campus.

Still love this shirt from Zazzle.com

I have already met with his services coordinator for next year. Luckily I know her from the time she spent in the special day preschool program, and I look forward to working with her again. With her, I toured each of the *eight* second-grade classrooms and made notes, ending up with a list of three teachers/classrooms that look like a good fit for James. I spoke with the principal and felt warmly welcomed.

With the help of the special services coordinator, I hammered out the kids' morning drop-off routine for next year. Still working on that pesky pick-up. I got some answers regarding aides for next year. I am thinking of requesting a particular aide for James.

I met both speech therapists and have already heard many good things about them and how they work together and the families. I confirmed that his O/T and APE people remain the same.

I've planned a day to visit the new campus with James, in advance of his class' "field trip" to visit next year's campus. We will also be visiting the playground throughout the summer, to get him familiar with the idea that he will be coming back to this campus next year as a Second Grader, not a preschooler.

I am still on the fence about summer school. It was pretty much a disaster last year, but I want him to still receive services, especially speech and O/T. I am trying to clarify what to ask for, and get it in writing. As usual, I am worried I will miss something crucial ... but I tell myself I am doing the best I can and that even if everything is perfect, James will change over the next 6 months and we'll be doing the IEP goals dance again.

IEP Goals -- there's a new twist in there. We are starting to tie in some of his grade-level academics to his IEP.  Both his teacher and I are excited by all those shiny possibilities. The services coordinator is coming from a different, but no less meaningful, perspective. I want to keep James moving forward with challenges that will stretch him, rather than be rubber-stamped. I am listening to what his team is saying and trying to process it as best as possible.

I want to be prepared, not led. I am an active partner in his education and developmental growth. See me rub my head, go online for hours, burn through my minutes plan, and drink pots of coffee. Wish me luck.

IEP Check-In

We are two-thirds through the school year. Yikes! James seemed to be doing well and I'd been in contact with his teacher, aide, and services coordinator. Occasionally I'd catch the O/T and APE folks and touch base. This year, however, I'd not been in touch with James' Speech therapist. After almost 2 months of saying I should schedule a meeting, I had the meeting.

First, I had to contact the services coordinator. This is easy to do, if I can keep my mind on-topic long enough to create and send an email. Pardon me while laugh at that. Ahem. Okay, that took several weeks. Then there was the back and forth as to day and time. Then James' teacher asked to attend, which is super, as far as I'm concerned. Then we had to get through testing ... so here we are -- conference week.

Wow. We had good meetings. Over two hours worth. Speech went first. She had some interesting things to say. First, she told me she'd mixed up James' sessions. He has both therapists to himself on one day, and later in the week he attends a session with his classmates (there are a lot of kids in his class who go to Speech). This sounds like a great idea to me. I asked that James work more on pronouns -- right now he always gets them wrong at home. I can't tell if it's on purpose or not. Overall, James is doing well, and progressing nicely toward his goals.

Then for the next half-hour I spoke with his teacher about his testing. He's *so* close in reading and writing to passing at grade level! Even in math, I think with a little extra work he'll improve for the testing. His teacher has some great tools she'd using not only for James, but also for other kids in her class. She is totally committed to helping all her kids grow and learn, James included. I so appreciate that.

For the last hour, I talked about current issues with his services coordinator. James has started to have some behavioural issues. Mostly regarding computer and iPad use. He has furious melt-downs when it's time to stop. This is a recent development -- he's been doing well with stopping the previous 2 months. Sigh. He's also testing his aide and I am starting to have palpitations about next year at a different campus and teachers I have not met. We also talked about changing up James' morning routine again and giving him some time and experience on the playground before school.

To summarize -- It was necessary to have the meeting and it happened at a good time. James is making progress and it's time to start thinking and planning for the next year, campus, and goals. And I feel better, being more connected to what James' school day is like.

Son of IEP (or: IEP, Part III)

We're still working on James' IEP!

My latest round included an hour of careful review of the 23-page draft plus 3 pages of meeting notes and making comments in the margins. I thought it would take a mere 20 minutes. After all, we'd already put 3 hours into meetings to discuss all this, right?

Silly Mommy. Cue the FAIL buzzer sound.

Somehow, seeing discussed items in print raises even more questions for me, hence margin notes and the need to check in again with the Services Coordinator. 

In particular, I had questions about the goals stated in two different places about the time (percentage-wise) James would be on-task, in class. They seemed to contradict each other, and I did not want James to be pulled out of class if an in-classroom solution could be found.

I also wanted to know James' schedule of services. He's currently pulled out for speech (twice weekly), O/T (weekly, up from a set number of hours a month),  and adaptive P.E. (weekly). It's good for me to have this schedule at home so I can do my part to ensure he's at school at those times to get his services. Because outside appointments will happen.

Shared info from Behavourist meeting almost 2 weeks ago, including her caveat that she is contracted to support the family, but the school is welcome to call her to ask questions and discuss issues (thanks to the lovely confidentiality forms we all signed last school year).

Requested the addition of a pronoun goal for speech. James keeps using them in exact opposites (he/him/his for a girl and she/her/hers for a boy) and referring to others when he's really trying to tell us how he's feeling.

And yes, THIS year I checked to make sure James was signed up for the extended school year, so he would be eligible for summer school (if it's not going to be like it was last year). Pause for Kuzco victory dance.

There were some other items, but I can't clearly recall them now. What I did do was take most of a week to review the IEP draft and then raced over to the school at 4pm on a Friday so I could hand it in to the Coordinator and ask her a few questions. She was very patient and even cleared up the on-task/time in class confusion on my part, as well as addressed my notes on almost every page. Phew! She handed me her pen and I signed off.

She also made it a point to tell me that she spent a few hours with James in the classroom this morning and that she both enjoyed herself and was excited about how much progress he has made. That made me feel so good. I appreciate so much that she has been going the extra 10 miles for us.

I did not keep an IEP draft for myself, because it's now going to be retyped and recopied for the whole team. Meanwhile, James has an awesome set of goals in place for him this coming year, and the work has already begun.

Can hardly wait for Part IV: Epilogue (in which I review the final format and call it good. Or not.)

IEP, Part II

Met last week with James' Services Coordinator to continue and wrap up James' IEP. She'd had time to meet with his aide and teacher before our sit down. There was that pesky behaviour report  to sort through and distill into goals and measurables, remember.

The meeting started with a recap of behviours covered in the outside therapist's report that had also been observed in the classroom (which was almost all of them). Basically, when left with unstructured (and unsupervised) time, James responds by wandering, bumping, and misusing common objects to get attention from others. A related issue is that it can be difficult to keep James focused on a task that does not involve computers, although once he starts a worksheet or a reading assignment, he will work steadily, but with constant prompting.

One of the goals we discussed looks like they will be for James to remain seated through tasks with a minimum of prompting 80% of the time. The other will probably be for James to choose from a selection of activities or items from a sensory box to self-regulate during unstructured time.

Great schedulers from sayitright.org

Tools and visual aids mentioned in the report were then reviewed and weighed. The visual scheduler has been helpful in the past, but has been difficult to integrate in this year's classroom setting. The countdown clock, on the other hand, has been extremely effective for James. The Behavioural Therapist suggested coming up with a clipboard of activities that James can choose from for unstructured time. I like this idea for both home and school, and hope it will be another useful tool.

We discussed how James was doing with his classwork.  Pretty well, it turns out. He's aced three spelling tests and knows his numbers up to at least 100. He is in the lowest reading group in the class, but is one of the better readers in that group. His writing has improved enormously over the summer and he can now use the classroom paper instead of a blank or specially ruled sheet. He is extremely motivated to work with his class and is getting very good about asking for what he needs to keep up with the pace of the day.

Grade 1 math

"More" and "less" are pretty confusing for him, and I am working to get him to recognize plus and minus signs, and what they mean in math. James' teacher has sent home a math workbook so I continue to work on math with him at home. She checks in with me almost every week via email, letting me know the good and needs work highlights as they come up.

Every time I talk with someone on James' support team, I learn new things. That morning, I learned that it was unusual for a teacher to take on a full inclusion student as one of her regular kids and follow along with his goals and progress so closely as James' teacher is doing this year. We've been fortunate to have had teachers for James who observed and included him as much as possible in the classroom setting that I guess I took it a bit for granted, even though I was happy it was happening.

I lost track of how much time we met -- easily a half hour and probably over that. There's still more -- now comes my review and final comments before signing off. Almost there!

Countdown clock from zedomax.com

Dangling Participle, or: IEP Cliffhanger

So a team of six (myself included) met this week for James' annual IEP. An hour was allotted. We talked for an hour and a half. We're still not done.

One of the reasons the meeting went so long was that we all had a lot to share and say; the atmosphere was friendly and relaxed, yet professional. James has met all but one of his goals from last year, and we were all excited that the ground he gained opened up new areas for goals.

We hit a snag on the last goal, which was tied to behaviour in class. We discussed the heck out of that one and referred to a therapist's report and still had to adjourn without consensus. We all acknowledge there is a goal or two in there that needs work.

It reminds me of a dangling participle (or cliff hanger, if you are not fascinated with grammar):
"The antecedent—that is, the noun to which the participle refers—must be clear to the readers in order for them to understand what's being said. Otherwise, an action may be subscribed to the wrong player. That's called a 'dangling participle,' because it's left 'dangling' without a clear antecedent."
(Ta, USU!)

I think the next step is to identify the desired behaviour and then work to support it. It sounds like that will be to get him to stay seated and focus on work for longer periods of time and more independently. The motivator is a mystery. The Behaviourist made suggestions that the teacher and aide say they have tried, but do not find effective. Motivating James ... now there's a subject to explore!

To be continued ... (like his IEP meeting)

Pre-IEP Stress Drive

James' annual Individual Education Plan (IEP) is this week. While I am less frantic this year, it is still a stressful time for me. I want to make sure we're setting the best goals for James, so he gets the best support in the areas he needs. The information from the IEP will be used in regular school among his teacher, aide, coordinator, speech therapist, OT, and Adaptive P.E. (APE) personnel. It will also be used for summer school. That's a lot of time and people to cover.

cool shirt from Zazzle.com

I know the goals can be modified and changed. I also know that, technically speaking, I can call an IEP meeting earlier than next year. I still want to feel like I've done my homework and am bringing the best goals to the table for him.

What's involved? Boatloads of paperwork from the school (last year's IEP document, approximately 13 pages), reports from 2 O/Ts, 1 P/T, 1 APE, Behaviourist, Speech & Language Therapist, Aide, Coordinator, Teacher, and parents. My stack going in weighs a good 2-3 pounds.

I've already had a half-hour pre-meeting with the teacher and services coordinator to go over James' strengths and challenges. He's still behind academically, socially, and verbally, but he constantly is improving in all areas so that he's now very close to grade level. Yowza!

James' annual IEP meeting is scheduled for an hour. I tend to run right up to the time limit, and a little over. I tend to listen first, refer to the bullet points I've noted before and during the meeting, and then make sure all those items get covered in the way that seems best for James.

I frequently do not sign the IEP until I've reviewed it for at least a day. Things tend to sink into my subconsciousness and rise later. I don't think any big disageement's ever needed to be addressed after the meeting, but I like room to review and reflect.

It's a lot of work. It's for James. We are lucky -- he has a good team behind him.

Oh My Stinkin' Heck

I've been keeping my head down lately. Things have been hitting me nonstop. I'm not completely organized, so I am constantly checking and double-checking the ever-growing piles and stacks of paperwork, scribbled messages, calendars (office and kitchen), and email account (about 1900 messages in just the "In" box). Heck, even if I was organized, it wouldn't help too much, because things keep getting switched on me, or I find out something else that needs jumping on, STAT.

On the heels of the last round of the flu with James' sister came state testing for her. April was not only Autism Awareness month and our second Autism Speaks walk, it was the start of signups for summer programs. After one summer of leaving things too late, I obsessively plan for the day the Summer Program Schedule come out and sign the kids up online before the offices open the following Monday. Somewhere in there, James started waking up six times a night, one of which was to tell me that he'd pulled out his loose tooth. I am waiting to do the Tooth Fairy thing because shortly after that, he swallowed a nickle and a penny right in front of me, before I could stop him. Heck, maybe the Tooth Fairy will bring him an IOU or coupon for Funky Monkey tickets and save me some worry.

Then that Easter thing, with egg hunts, helping the bunny deliver after midnight, mailing cards, and making food to share at a family gathering. Followed by getting IEP revisions pushed through for James so he could go to summer school. Not that anyone at the school pointed out he needed this, I spent *several weeks* playing phone tag with his services coordinator, asking how summer school worked and how to get James signed up for it. I had to insist. I had to follow that up with several office visits around the system to shepherd the paperwork through the system. I truly do understand that the state is bleeding the schools dry, but bite me, James needs summer school.

If I hadn't been so obsessive about planning summer programs, I'd have been too late to get his IEP amended for an extended school year and thus he'd have missed out on a month of summer school, speech, and O/T. This reminded me that I needed to investigate classes and teachers for the next year. Still working on that one, as well as trying to have James' aide work with him in first grade.

With all this fun going on has been Teacher Appreciation week, PTA volunteering, an Art Docent session, daily Yard Duty shifts, and Other Schtuff (the parts where I get to work in the garden are rather fun). It can take me 3 days to get to a shower, four hours to clean a countertop, and six weeks to return a phone call. The Christmas books finally went out to the in-laws just before Easter. Oh, and my husband wants me to fix the showerhead in our bathroom and prepare for a Yard Sale. Actually, now is a great time to do it, because the we have a brand-new water heater. The old one sprung a leak the night before Easter. Which also means that I had to re-arranged and start cleaning out the garage to accommodate that little surprise project.

I tell you, the fun just never ends. And this is just what I can write about in 30 minutes. There's a lot more going on, and most of it's complicated.

Transitional IEP

Today brought something I'd been hearing about for the past 2 years: James' Transitional IEP as we start planning in earnest for Kindergarten this coming Fall. Compared to some other things we'd been through, it was mild and not the big verklempt moment that I'd been expecting. I am assuming now that will start hitting me mid-April, as we begin to prepare for James to leave his loving little preschool environment and head out into the larger waters of KinderOcean.

It helps that the meeting was held at the school my daughter currently attends, and that it looks as though services will be maintained in a full-inclusion environment. Although nothing can be finalized until all forms are completed, signed, and triplicated with blood offerings. Made that last part up -- I think.

What a difference between then

and now

Praying for Guidance

Although it's been many years since I was a regular church goer, I pray almost every day. For families, friends, everyone in the same crazy boat as I. Sometimes I pray for patience, inspiration, or to be a better person.

As a parent I pray that I will know enough about what I am doing to raise my children as happy and well adjusted as possible. I know that being a parent is wonderful, frustrating, rewarding, and makes the soul grow ... like a LOT.

As James' mom, I pray for guidance. Am I paying attention to the right things? Am I on the right track? Making the best choices for him? What do I do *now* when confronted with (insert random/favourite issue)? Does it really help if I shout at him? Will he hear me if I don't? How do I best advocate for getting him what he needs? Am I *really* prepped for his IEP?

I ask experts and read material; I sometimes ask James. I find that sometimes praying for guidance and opening myself up for suggestion and ideas can help us find some good suggestions. I hope they are answers. It will be years (or never) while we wait to see.

Right now I am in the throes of kindergarten choices for James. Schools, classrooms, and class types. If he gets into one school that we think will be great for him, I have a whole new routine to learn and he will be in an unfamiliar place on his own for the first time ever. If he goes to the main school I need to find and target a short list of teachers who do well by full inclusion students and James in particular. Because we have chosen to have James in a full inclusion classroom with a full-time aide.

Oh yes, a lot of praying for guidance going on around here right now!