More Of This

I wish this could be shared with special needs parents who need support and encouragement, and at staff trainings for all schools, preschool through high school.

My takeaways yesterday from the emergency IEP yesterday:

• The importance of parents of autistic kids having confidence, overall, with their relationship with their little ones, their kids, their teens. 
• It is amazing to me (again) how many trained professionals (their terms, I am not randomly labelling them) know so much less than I do about working with special needs kids, and mine in particular. This is not a put-down. It's a call for collaboration.
• The impact and results from people coming together to talk and listen to each other to solve a situation that is not working for both groups can be extremely profound.
• That parents being advocates sometimes needs to include being the one who teaches others and keeps the focus of a support group on track.
• NEVER underestimate the importance of telling others who your child is, especially if, like James, they lack the communication skills to do so.  

We had one of the best meetings so far with this district. I could feel the change taking place in the energy in the room. I felt it most acutely after telling the group this:

James is, basically, a happy guy. He's funny and smart. He wants others to be happy. He wants to be like his peers and he will reflect what is modeled before him. He cannot communicate verbally all the things going on inside his head or his emotions. This is a large part of why he exhibits behaviours.

I felt listened to. It was energizing. I hope that my listening to their struggles and attempts to support or give advice for them were helpful too. In the end, our reason for being in that room was for James, as it should be, and I think that's going to be the start of a change for the better.

Deep End Monday

Today began slowly and unwillingly on James' part. I called the bus and school people to say he was coming in, but later than usual. I did the same for my work.

Last night's laundry session was brutal, no two ways about it. To top it all off, half the dryers in our complex are broken, a really swell thing to discover in the dark at 8PM on a Sunday night with a howling teen and a heavy basket of wet laundry.

In honor of Montana and Yellowstone, Calistoga's Old Faithful.

But the bright side today was that James had lots and lots of clean clothes to choose from, as we put them all away together.

A few hours later at work, I got a call to pick up James. I asked to speak with his aide. She is a person a of few to no words. Evidently James told them that if he made it through 3rd period, I'd pick him up and he could go home.

This is what happens when communication breaks down. As there was almost nothing from the aide and I was unsure who his case manager was, I  asked to speak with the principal or vice principal. I am no longer shy. The VP turned out to be a person who listened and knew James. She thinks he's a pretty neat kid too. I have an email to write after this, with a sociable cc list. She will try and brainstorm tactics for working with James and keeping him at school. I cannot keep picking him up and he needs to get his education.

So I finished work and got home almost 3 hours later than usual. Thank goodness for Sunday-made crock pot meals! James had pizza.

As soon as I was finished, I had James get out the homework packet that I asked his aide to send home with him, so he did his work on time. Luckily, it was working on States, and James loves geography. We learned some things about South Carolina and Montana. James coloured on the handouts. I made him write the basic facts at the top and I wrote the longer answers below as he dictated them.

Halfway through, Respite called. Now there is car trouble delaying respite. I have been trying to get this since October, mind you. Maybe in February it will happen. The next time you are tempted to say to a special needs parent "but you have respite, don't you?" - this is often what you actually get. So please don't say it.

Now it's really tough to get James back to finish his homework, but we finally get there!

Now he's resting. I have my homework: emails, texts, a test. It's almost 9 and I should be sleeping because tomorrow at 5 AM I am up and at it again.