Isolation - How You Can Help

I have written a lot about the negative emotional impacts of isolation that comes with being a parent of a child who is autistic. The isolation saps already low energy and makes it easy to get locked into patterns - sharing and communication with family, friends, and the community require constant and costly efforts.

For us in the suburbs past the 2nd grade, if my kids were not doing the same programs as other kids, they were locked out of social events like birthdays and get togethers. Parents hesitated about coming over. The friends that we made seemed to move out of town. 

Former friends were great to see at reunion events. Because of sensory overloads, developmental delays, and communication challenges (not to mention eloping), I could not engage completely with my friends and kids. There was friendly interest in our lives, but it was often not deep.

The older we all got the more I noticed the lack of people being able to slow down and break things into smaller parts. I would have been like that too, if not for my kids. 

Here is something new to consider for Autism Awareness Month: Do you have friends or family members affected by autism? Are they still important to you? Consider doing the following:

• Initiate get togethers and persist if they get canceled at the last minute. Be prepared for a slower visit and instead focus on time together.
• Please don't try to share inspiring stories or new treatments you heard about. Ask questions instead to learn more about what their life is like. 
• Volunteer to contact representative to protect services or bring awareness to housing, education, and personal rights issues.
• Please share news about mutual friends and interests - photos are great too.
• Consider your affected friends and families when planning social or other events. If the planning does not work out initially, consider adding a new one later one that can accommodate a slower pace and avoid triggers.
• Find a way to keep impacted families and friends in your life - send a postcard, share a recipe or joke, or send a text if you see or hear something that reminds you of them.
• Try being a pen pal (you or your family/kids) - everyone loves getting mail and sometimes being able to practice writing as a truly social experience can be fun for our kids.
• Contribute to non-profits that help families impacted by autism. In our area, this includes:
•  Matrix Parents Network
• Anova Center for Education
• the Early Learning Institute
• Rotary Club of Healdsburg Sunrise
• United Cerebral Palsy North Bay
• Common Ground Society.

Please don't be afraid or ashamed to try something new in including impacted friends and families - we do it every day and learn to roll with it/through it. We assure you there is a heady sense of accomplishment for at least trying. We'd like to have your company.