Smoother Sailing

This came home today in James' backpack:

Such a difference from last week. We are thankful all over again for the wonderful team James is working with at school this year.

James is doing his homework with us at night too with a minimum of fuss. It's modified, but we practice spelling, writing, math, and reading every night. He is choosing his books and asking what the spelling words mean.

Then I saw this wonderful graphic from Lizbeth, over at Four Sea Stars:

I thought about how far we've come since last year. And I am so grateful all over again for the people in our lives who allow us room to be ourselves. And how lucky we are to have some people in our lives that encourage and support us to be even more ourselves.

The Precise Child's Sandwich Recipe

Ran across this over the weekend. Oh my sweet corn. It's still true. This is what I have to go through some days to feed the kids.

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches (Sammiches, per my son)

Recipe (per my daughter):
That Bread that Mme Untel uses and That Cheese that she buys; I don't know what it is, but I think it's yellow or maybe orange. She makes it on a grill and it tastes good! (Note: Mme Untel was our day-care provider for years -- everything is better at her house!)

Chez Nous recipe: Use soft bread -- I can get away with Trader Joe's whole wheat bread ($1.99/loaf) and sliced orange cheddar cheese, as plain as possible. Use real butter (ours is not salted).

(1) Heat pan; melt a small slice of butter, enough to completely coat pan's surface.
(2) Place up to 2 slices of cheese in between bread. Butter the outer top slice.
(3) Using medium-to-low heat, cook sandwich until butter browns and crisps the bottom bread's exterior. (note to self Do NOT attempt to answer email or bread will burn)
(4) Flip sandwich and repeat cooking.
(5) Remove sandwich from pan, slice in half diagonally (this is actually important), and put on plate. (6) Serve warm (or else it's no good).

... and with that, time to pack the school lunches!

Resisting

Things are a bit better at school, and I am cautiously optimistic. A couple of longish discussions with his aide about triggers and possible tools to use to encourage better behaviours and choices at school seem to have helped.

It is very true that if you try to shush James (whether with pictures, hand signs, or verbal cues) in a classroom, it's rather akin to throwing gasoline on a fire -- it triggers both anxiety and defiance, rather loudly too. It is true that afternoons are some of his toughest times to hold things together. James also does not function well in unstructured time.

So his aide has created some visual tools to help him understand what activity is coming next, and how much time it will take. James is starting now to want or need things neatly boxed and defined more so than in the past, and this seemed a good thing to try to keep him focused and involved, rather than defiant. I am so glad he has his aide to help him through this tough transition to third grade.

I have noticed over this summer that James has started resisting things more, especially activities outside the house. I used to be able to get him to go swimming in the pool with his sister and I with a minimum of difficuty. Not any more. He used to love going to the grocery store with me. He's become less enthusiastic about coming along and often asks now if he can stay home. How about a trip to the Farmers' Market? No thank you, now.


I'm not giving up on getting him to go out. Today  we were treated to an outing all day at Coppola Winery's pool. "I don't wanna go," was his cry. I bribed him with his iPad and he came. He goofed off and talked incessantly, once we were established under some umbrellas. This made it a little harder for me to relax, but I did enjoy the experience.

James' sister swam like a fish. I got James into his suit and took him into the pool with me, because this year he did not want to go at all. The water was refreshing and helped cool him down. He started to cry, however: he didn't want to get dunked under water, he did not want to be splashed. He clung to me and told me that he had nightmares about his (up until now) favourite Baby Einstein puppet characters.

Ah, so that's why you've been getting me up every house on the hour at night, lately.

So I spoke soothingly to him, and gently rocked him from side to side. He did grow calmer. After we got out, I wrapped him in a couple of towels, to help him dry off. He refused to go in again, though.

James' Dad thinks the resistance and defiance are normal developmental milestones. He's right, but I am always wondering if there isn't also something more going on that is related to autism that I am still trying to decode.

When Dancing Goes Bad

Found this on Sheri Venner's site

I am borrowing this image tonight. I really need it. It's been a stinker of a day on all counts.

The kind that makes you feel like you feel like you are under constantly attack, and to cry would be fatal. Because you have to go on. But not good things keep happening.

Definitely the phone call from James' school to come quick, there was a situation with him in the bathroom was a tough one to get. Turns out he was dancing there, sans pants, socks, or shoes, and singing lalalalala at the top of his voice, refusing to come out. Thank heavens his undies were still on. And this is a new one. It's his second big melt-down in a week.

My lunch hour went to flying to the school, getting him to calm down and come out (along with his Dad, who brought him clean pants). James went home with his Dad and I stayed behind to try and figure out what the heck happened and brainstorm plans to head off/deal with similar situations. We had some good ideas. More breaks, in essence, until he settled better into the new grade/school year routines. And options for working in a quieter, pull-out room. Also, more extra clothes in his backpack.

He has a really great team working with him. I hope we can get him back on track. I know he did not enjoy the washing he got in the tub tonight. I made sure he understood it was because he spent time in the bathroom at school, and that his hair was washed because he also (I was told) laid down on the boys' bathroom floor and refused to get up. Oh my goddess.

At bedtime, he kept telling me about his saga in the bathroom. He still hasn't told me why he did it. I don't know if he can. I told him places for dancing at school included the playground, parties, and the O/T room. They did not include the classroom or the bathrooms. I hope he heard this.

And no, his homework did not all get done. He did get dinner, cleaned up, and into bed on time. And tomorrow is another day.

The incident today at school is just one of several hard things I had to deal with today. I am not going into the others here.  Suffice to say I like this quote from Winston Churchill:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Also, the quote from Ursula LeGuin's The Lathe of Heaven:
"To let understanding stop at what cannot be understoof is a high attainment. Those who cannot do it will be destroyed on the lathe of heaven."  - Chuang Tzu

It Must Be School Time Again ...

After work meetings across town, checkbook out.

Tectonic plates of the Earth spread out on the kitchen table, and evening dates with math and spelling.

New levels of story books being checked out of the library.

Stricter bedtimes.

Communication logs to read and sign.

French toast for breakfast.

No iPad until mid-afternoon.

Sneakers on feet.

Deep breathing as the morning commute just hit the stress jackpot of more drivers on the road combined with frequent traffic stops as construction zones start dirt-hauling convoys across major roadways.

Later and later sunrises over the back fence, under the leaves of the waving grapevines.

Tree-lined avenues' fading green; living tunnels, with ceiling and walls alight with gold.

Wistful-looking sunsets, souvenirs of the summer that was.

We've already started counting the days until Christmas.

Magic Marker Monday: Picto Name

We've seen letters like these before, when James was in a mainstream preschool in the afternoons. This time he was able to do more colouring himself, and work on cutting and pasting the letters himself.

A very festive project from summer school!

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own, visit 
5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

                                    
  

Homework Duty Divided

One very nice dividend of James' Dad working closer to home: now we can share homework duty!

It was sweet to hear James read to his Dad from the big purple chair. He did a great job too. Then they did math card drills. I got a set each of addition and subtraction cards from the Dollar Store this summer. I have a feeling, though, that he prefers the cards his aide made for him.

His reading homework.

I used the microwave timer to make sure they hit the allotted minutes of work. I was in the kitchen, filling out forms. Ye gods and little fishes, such a lot of paperwork for parents!

I'll get my turn of reading and addition math flash cards at bedtime. Piece of cake.