Flies

We are cleaning and moving house. The worst part for James was not the disorganization and tossing of items, as I'd feared, but FLIES in the house.

Oh, James and FLIES.

His reactions are much calmer, but FLIES stop everything for him. Unfortunately for him, it is high summer, and many FLIES are out and about. They come inside as people, boxes, and furniture go in and out.

For many years, I have been chief arachnid and insect wrangler in the household. James therefore would get a roll of newspaper and hand it to me reverently, telling me: "You can get that FLY over there. Look, come and see. It's right HERE." And I would be taken by the hand and led to said FLY.

After the first day, I was DONE with FLIES.

James rose to the occasion. He got strategy, and slammed a window shut, trapping several FLIES between the pane and the screen. He became best buds with Bueller, the FLY-eating wonder cat. He Chased them down patiently and quietly with wads of paper towels in his hand, and GOT the FLIES!!!!

Every day, there are new FLIES to discover, hunt, and eradicate. We will be so happy when there are no more FLIES in the house.

Program, Interrupted

I've been trying to get James to bed for almost an hour. Normally this is not difficult. We know we are very lucky in that respect.

Not tonight, though. Oh no. James has been upset, wailing, in tears, and with a distraught face that would sink an armada of tender hearts.

Culprit?

Yup.  These are noises James can tolerate without a problem:

     

Flies sharing his space ... will freak him out every time. He hates their buzzing more than leaf blowers. That is saying a lot.

He only calmed down when I showed him there were no flies in his room and sang to him -- lots of songs from my mom and grandmother, and half a dozen Disney movie tunes.

And when I thought I had him down? Bathroom visit. We went through the whole routine again.

That fly is so toast if *I* see him!

Gift Giving and Autism

Gift Ideas for Autistic Kids

One would think that after almost 9 years of making Autism's acquaintance, I would be better at this. Alas, the thrill is still there: What to get for Christmas and James' birthday (which lands about 2 weeks after Christmas)?

With autism in the mix, I need to blend several areas of information together and throw "normal" out the window. It's not such a bad thing.

Consider

There are the things that James likes: Caillou (still, heaven help me), Curious George, Thomas Train, Baby Einstein, Upside Down Show, spinny things, gears, music, Pixar.

James' abilities: He is young and playful for his age, has some fine motor skills strengths and challenges, processing delays, and a fickle attention span. His dream is to play games on a Playstation, iPad, iPhone of his own for hours at a time and play arcade games like speedboat racers. He hates flies and gets anxious with outdoor sports and staying with a group.

There are the typical gifts for almost 12 year-old: iPad, iPod touch, cell phone, computer/Xbox, clothes, science/art/magic kits, skate boards, bikes.

There are the fun classic kid presents: Lego, puzzles, solar-powered toys, build your own computer/robot, books, movies, sports gear, toy vehicles, yo-yos, kites.

Discern

Your kid + autism = unique for them gifts. Here are some Christmas presents ideas for 2016:

• All 3 Toy Story movies in one DVD collection and Inside Out: letters to Santa and Social Communication therapy, thank you!
• Maps from AAA: he has been carrying them all over lately, placing cities and travel routes; thank you, CSAA membership!
• This nifty kids smart watch:
  VTech Kidizoom Smartwatch DX, Royal Blue (2nd Generation) (seriously, just read the features - I am jealous!). James will love the voice and picture filters!
• This smart little DIY marble run: After a frustrating experience with the taller, bendy multi-piece ones, I am hoping for true multi-time use and enjoyment with the Kengadget Crazy Ball Marble Run Set

For a birthday:

• music lessons (probably piano with a local family that teaches music out of their home)
• another movie -- digital purchase because...
• a Kindle Fire with a case

Your mileage may vary with a Kindle. I thought long and hard about it myself, as James has smashed some of his most favourite Apple electronics lately when in a temper and I will not replace them. The Apple IDs and iTunes are driving me nuts with their user unfriendliness.

The Kindle is not locked down very much, so I will let him use it on a limited time basis for good behaviour. It will be his. I am not getting the special kids' subscription or a warranty. I am making it very clear that he breaks it, no more Kindle. It was $33 on a Cyber Monday special with free shipping so the cost is not bad. He can use my Prime membership to watch movies and use his PBS Kids subscription, take videos and pictures, access digital books from our public library. I find it very easy to add apps and borrow/purchase/download media. Did I mention I got a really good deal on this?

There will always be clothes too, like nice big boy PJs, shirts, and pants. James is growing like a weed!

Autism in Numbers

For myself, autism is 90% slog, 10% elation at breakthroughs and successes, at least 25% heartbreak with setbacks, 62% facing how my child cannot interact with his world, 110% trying to figure out how he can engage with and be part of the world around him in a way that makes his life meaningful.

It's 5,642% paperwork. 9,000% questionnaires. $$$ in endless unimaginable extra expenses (large and small) to cope with the disabilities. Paper filing to the 43rd power. The square root of 223% normal life for me. Advocacy into the infrared spectrum of colour.

Underneath and running through it all: love, tears, humour. Music, weird things being said, car rides, obsessions over flies and leaf blowers. Serious campaigns for eating, self care, and impulse control. Mean people, nice people, and YouTube. Higher numbers of kids diagnosed. Reduced financial numbers in state and federal budgets.

This has been brought to you by a tough morning after several brilliant days at the new school that suddenly devolved into self-injury. I am not precisely sure why he decided banging his head on the floor was necessary. We have talked, and hopefully this has been helpful for him. I want to hold him in a hug and make whatever caused it to go away. But he's not that little any more. Instead, I try for calm, work with him and his team, and love him hard.

We've had 2 TBS liquid ibuprofen, 7 crescent rolls, 2 glasses of milk and 1 waffle. Today is a percentage of compromises: 30% school, 70% home rest, and 100% let's try again and make better choices.

Good Morning, Son-shine!

James got me up at 2 this morning with "Go potty, Mommy?"

He wears a diaper during the night, but he hates to wake up and find it messed. Okay so this is good in a way; we do the bathroom thing and I tuck him back in. He thinks if he's cute enough it will be morning. NO!!!! Took him over an hour to settle back down and this morning I had to wake him up.

That cracked me up because I went in to wake him up and asked him "Do you want to get up?" Usually he just about flies into my arms and yells "YES!!!" right in my ear. This time he rolled over, eyes tight shut, and smirked into the pillow "NO!"

He made the bus. He was so happy. I am so glad he has that attitude -- it will carry him through so many hard things.

The Great Outdoors

It's the beautiful time again in our yards. The back is lush and overgrown. You can still smell new leaves and damp soil -- the promises of things to come. The air is soft and inviting. The kids love to wander and explore.

Finally.

It took until they were both in school for me to be able to spend time outside again. My daughter could not stand the feel of grass and they both freaked out if flies or bees buzzed too close to them.

The yard awaits. Our daughter climbs trees now, making her own bows and arrows. James follows her about, swinging on the swing set or making pictures on the chalkboard or pads of paper. They have super soakers that are just waiting to be used.

This is James: Bus

In the mornings, James adores the school bus. He practically rips open our front door and flies down the driveway, crying "buh! buh!" before he leaps into it. The driver always has a big smile for him and calls him her Little Angel. He giggles, wiggles, and glows with delight while he gets webbed into his seat. Then he'll look at me and shout "Bye!" with a grin.

I always wave to him outside the bus. And James always leans over and puts one finger up to the window. I can see him saying "bye" inside. He doesn't stop until I put my finger to his (on the other side of the glass) and say "Bye James, I love you!" Once I drew a heart too, and he thought that was the Coolest Thing Ever.

Then I wave to him as the bus pulls away from the curb. I wait for the turnaround and wave to him as he passes by, and I stand at the bottom of the driveway and wave some more until the bus turns the corner & out of sight. Mission completion!

Random Bus Thoughts:

1. Sometimes I have trouble getting James to focus, or sit still for socks and shoes. Usually, all it takes is a reminder: "James, bus" and presto, he is on board!


2. I wish I could get going as quickly as he -- angelically asleep to completely awake and demanding "muh-muh" (muffins) in 4.1 seconds.


3. James almost always makes my day happy with his starry smile and big happy eyes


4. The bus keeps me honest for getting James to school on time -- yay honesty!


5. I am so glad he gets an adventure so early in the day, while I am still working on that first cuppa joe

SOOC: Future Farmers of America

A local tradition starts off another summer! The Future Farmers of America Country Fair  kicked off this weekend with their twighlight parade through Healdsburg. James' big sister and I have traveled the parade route on floats twice and I have to tell you, it's a hoot. A real small-town, warm-hearted event that leaves you smiling the rest of the day.

Attending the fair and auction, however, took a while to build up to. Both James and his sister were very anxious and meltdown-prone if they were around outdoor heat, smelly smells, large animals, FLIES, and excessive noise. Yeah, try having a county fair without any of those. And it wasn't as if they hadn't been to Ag Day or our big County Fair ... yeesh! It wasn't until last year that I could get them out there. I promised James we could visit his aide from Kindergarten (whose son was in FFA), and I think that's what finally got his reluctant buy-in.

This year? One of those times I dreamed about for years (with pity party tears on my cheeks). No fuss. Both kids leaping and running to go to the fair, running around to look at all the animals, and enjoying a Saturday morning outdoors. James actually coming to get me, grabbing my hand and calling "Come on, Mommy! Can we go see the circus? I wanna see circus!"

Because they have one, and it's awesome. Hats off to Zippo and Hi-Top; these guys made something great for kids and families when they came up with the Swan Brothers Circus.

Enough with the words! Here are some images from this year's FFA, SOOC:

Decorations for this year's theme "Cowboy Boots & Country Roots!" hung over the pig pens.

Bunnies, in groups of three.

Chickens.

County Fair offices, just off the Livestock Auction area.

Off to see the circus!

Now James wants popcorn. Sassy kid! We got some on our way out.

I saw a lot of kids dancing with funny hats. Made me smile to see them so happy.

Finalist: Most precious smile ever!

With the help of Zippo and my camera's Magic Eye lens, this brave volunteer became a clown!
He had some killer dimples, too.

Trying something new this week by linking up with Murrieta 365 for some SOOC show and share. I am bending the rules a bit with my words and multiple images, but otherwise it's all SOOC.

And So It Goes

James and his sister had been playing KJS (Keep James Smart school) so nicely; non-computer play time and math went smoothly. I was beaming with pride.

Then James spotted the "fly" (it was really more like a gnat). Game over. He started crying, insisting we get the fly. Then he started jumping and yelling. After trying in vain to redirect him, I gave him a time out in his room. Then he called his sister a name and talked about punching people, which means no more iPad today.

It's now almost an hour later. James has calmed down and apologised and his sister's enjoyed a bike ride near our house. They are back together and playing a version Follow the Leader that combines Tae-Kwon-Do exercises and my old aerobics step. Now they are practicing writing. I am staying out of it, hoping for no more flies.