The No-Win Bedtime

When you realize you and you autistic teen are both done and you enforce bedtime.

Then get to listen to the scripting based on YouTube rant videos while you try to sleep.

#nowaytowin #tryagain tomorrow.

Program, Interrupted

I've been trying to get James to bed for almost an hour. Normally this is not difficult. We know we are very lucky in that respect.

Not tonight, though. Oh no. James has been upset, wailing, in tears, and with a distraught face that would sink an armada of tender hearts.

Culprit?

Yup.  These are noises James can tolerate without a problem:

     

Flies sharing his space ... will freak him out every time. He hates their buzzing more than leaf blowers. That is saying a lot.

He only calmed down when I showed him there were no flies in his room and sang to him -- lots of songs from my mom and grandmother, and half a dozen Disney movie tunes.

And when I thought I had him down? Bathroom visit. We went through the whole routine again.

That fly is so toast if *I* see him!

20 Minutes of Reading, Daily

I've been trying to find new books to read with James. I am never quite sure what will catch his fancy. He adores Pete the Cat, Olivia, and Where the Wild Things Are.
 
I even got him into a Halloween book: Where's My Mummy?

As much as I love sharing these with him, I sometimes want to stretch things a bit. This week, I found a good book to try - my old copy of The Great Brain. Tonight he fell asleep, listening to a long-ago story about a boy with 2 older brothers on the frontier of America. It was great.

Sleep Over!

This weekend has had a couple smiles for me, mostly as I watched the kids play together. There were several years when James' sister begged me, with tears in her eyes to:

1. Have another baby, preferably a girl
2. Let her get a dog or a parrot
3. Trade James in for a neighbour's son
4. Let her go live at her Nana's

Ouch. But I understood. James wasn't a lot of fun as a playmate. He was largely passive and nonverbal (yet somehow very noisy). Mommy and Daddy paid sooooooooo much attention to James, and our days grew very constricted and centered around his needs.

I know this has changed her life and we've tried the best we can to give her special time and put energy to her needs and interests as well.

That's why last night's impromptu sleepover was so sweet. It was Big Sister's idea, of course. She handled getting them both ready for bed and I helped her set up a futon and her sleeping bag. We read a Dr. Seuss book, followed by an exciting chapter of Charlie Bone and the Time Twister. Both kiddos giggled and their faces practically shone with the newness and excitement. Then it was time for lights out.

It lasted all of 10 minutes.

James, unfortunately, could not settle down and Big Sister (who really was tired) moved back to her room. But, it was a good try. And I think it helped them both. Big Sister, to have her ideas supported and tried. James, to have a chance to experience a sleepover, which at Grade 1 starts to become a big social thing.

Sleep, the Elusive Frontier

Ironically, most nights I'd sleep just fine ... if the kids would let me. James in particular has become a challenge. I had heard that sometime kids on the spectrum have difficulties with staying asleep and getting enough sleep. For the first five years, this was not an issue, unless James was ill.

Then November 2010 struck, and suddenly, I'd wake up and find James standing in the middle of a cold, dark house. Motionless, and setting the stage for catching a cold and making me worry that he'd unlock the door and take off one night.

Then he'd get up at ungodly hours and expect to start his day. As early as 3-frickin' ack-emma. S-l-o-w-l-y I got him into the routine of resting with lights out, quiet and door open (before 6am); lights on, door closed and playing quietly (between 6 and 7; iPad permissible after 6:30); play with iPad in or out of room or quiet video time (between 7 and 8).

I've tried some melatonin, with limited success. I almost welcome colds because then I can break out the Benedryl (or at least it's generic equivalent). I try to keep to a consistent bedtime and ensure that James has had enough exercise during the day. Being able to sleep through the night is still an issue.

The sofa and I have become good friends and I'm not exactly happy about that. Because now if I'm not in the sofa, James will yell for me nonstop until I appear and wake up the entire house. I know, I set that up to happen. Still have nightmares about the unlocked door though.

So I was really excited to read on Autism Speaks' blog that there will be a webchat titled Sleep Strategies for Children with Autism: A Parent’s Guide on February 21. Tips *and* a toolkit? I'll be there (unless I am so tired that I forget, in which case I'll still visit the website and get the toolkit).

Now, I am off to read my daughter some Charlie Bone, and snuggle up to the sofa.

Dreamland

James has started talking to me at night before he goes to sleep. It started with his sister putting him to sleep a couple of nights over the Winter Break. Very sweetly, she would tell him stories and tell him they would see each other that night in Dreamland. Then James would ask her what they would do and she would tell him. They came up with all kinds of fun things to do together.

Sometimes James wants me to stay with him for a bit after lights out. He doesn't want me to talk or sing. He just likes to hold my hand and check that I am still there. Tonight he wanted to know if the whole family was going to Dreamland. I said yes.

"What we gonna do?" he asked. "How about fly?" I suggested. "Yeah. I gonna have wings?" "Yes." "What colour?" So we came up with all the colours for each family member's wings: gold for James, aquamarine for his sister, purple for me, and green for Daddy.

Yes! Sweet dreams.