Reading Together

For much of this Fall, I have been lax about reading with James. He has three favourite books he likes to bring out for his homework reading assignments: Where the Wild Things Are, Chicken Noodle Soup With Rice, and The Cat in the Hat.

I tried reading the library books that came home from school with him (that he supposedly picked out): Sharks, American Colonies, and another 5th-grade book about characters based on American history. After two sentences, James became violently bored and it was truly difficult to keep him focused, even sharing turns reading to each other.

So I went to our bookshelves. Goodness knows, there are enough paperbacks in this household, where almost every room sports a bookcase and the garage is a library-in-training. In James' own room, I picked out a Magic School Bus adventure: The Search for the Missing Bones. We've been reading it slowly over the past few weeks. It's just about right for James' reading level and captures his interest so he now gets excited when he sees the book cover.

With the weather getting colder, the kids getting older and tough things happening, it's sometimes hard to put aside the time for reading together for 20 minutes. But I do love our time curled up on the sofa together. Reading. Exploring. Sharing.

Weekend Chores

James is ten, almost eleven. One of the things I have been working with him includes learning skills to live more independently. James is good when self-directed, or working off a chart.

This morning, we worked on gathering laundry and gathering for washing. Laundry takes the longest, but he is getting better at it. I still have to watch him load the washer because sometimes things he throws in his laundry basket should be be added to the washer, such as stray toy building bricks, his jacket, or a plastic bag of dirty clothes (from an outing).

Washing dishes is tougher for James, with the slippery dishes and difficulty he has making one hand grip a cup or plate and the other a sponge to administer a scrubbing. I've found it's best to try with plasticware ... and have a spare shirt and pants handy when he gets his first set splashed with water.

Last weekend we straightened the DVDs and VHS tapes.

Baby steps!

Trader Joe's and Conversations

James and I made our weekly Trader Joe's run this morning. Later than usual, but we got lucky and hit a lull.

The weather is still damp, cold, and grey. Low lying cloud whisps hovered above the vineyards and hugged the bottoms of the foothills. The air was loaded with moisture. Armed with a grocery list, bags, bottle returns, and a reading test with a 100% grade, we took a cart and headed in.

Wow, Trader Joe's has a ton of holiday food and treats. Despite the awful week, I am comforted by the festive packaging and the helpful crew in our local store. James found Schroeder  (he's in the stuffing section today, Santa Rosa folks) and collected his sucker. He helped me get items from our list. He chose a new type of cookies to try in his lunch.

On our way out, he ran into one of his crew friends, and showed off his history test. Even though the crew member was busy, he took a moment to look at the paper and listen to James. He then gave him a high-five for his grade. Guess who got another sucker?

On the way home, I asked James about his music class at school. He told me they were practicing rhythms with sticks. He said he was alone with his aide. After some more questions about why he wasn't with the mainstream class, I understood: a leaf blower was being used outside the music class, so James got to go to a quieter room with his aide and practice.

Then we sang some of out favourite Christmas carols. Small things. They help.

PS: Trader Joe's is running a Customer Choice Awards contest. Nominate your favourites through tomorrow, December 6th.

A Haunting Week

This has been a week that laid me low. James' triennial IEP is still in progress (we started end of October) and no one is going to be really happy about the final result. I am very discouraged about the gap between my perceived service needs for James, the IEP I agreed to last June, and what is now being offered by the district. It seems to be a grey area, as concessions have been made on both sides, nothing is hugely out of compliance in this new version of the IEP, but I am disappointed and have lost faith. This is what happened to James when I agreed to move him out of Full Inclusion and into Special Day Class.

If any on-the-fence parent is reading this, listen to your inner voice: don't move your child out of Full Inclusion if you don't feel right about it.

I do recognize that James got less out of Full Inclusion every year, due to his developmental delays and processing issues. I do recognize his school is giving it their best with what they've got and there are good people trying to work with us. It's just not enough for James.

If I made more money, I'd shell out for outside services and soldier on, grumbling along the way. I don't have that option. I have other issues that are now more important. Big changes in the family (it's coming apart), mental illness issues that desperately need addressing, and extreme financial crisis. Right now it's constant, never-ending, and no resolution or coping schedule in sight.

Then Wednesday, the massacre at a Regional Service Center in our state. Just like the one we go to for James, but in another region. It's gutted me. Not only because an organization that's part of our lives became a target for murderers, or because of the horrible loss of many kind people with families near a big holiday, but because of a worst-case outcome between mental illness, despair, the huge and dangerous (and widening) gaps of haves and have nots, and guns.

The Us is trying to exterminate Them. Think Trump hate, Planned Parenthood attacks and defunding, police shootings, and radical religions of any kind.

Guns are protected more than people. I still cannot believe this.

Our country is ignoring history and turning into a place of fear, hate, and exclusion for those "not like us". I am looking at you, US Governors who want to exclude Syrian refugees. How long before this "Them" turns me and my family into "Them"? It doesn't feel like a large step. So yeah, now I feel threatened too, in my own country. 

And for me, I am not making enough money. Wages in my area are horrible and not what they were, pre-recession. I cannot support my family and it is breaking apart. I feel stranded. I know I am not alone. Not looking to throw a pity party. I do have some help and support. This is how I feel when I am laid low. I am pretty sure it's going to get worse before it gets better. I hope I can take it. I'm pretty sure I can.

Disneyland, at Age Ten

We took a long-deferred vacation to LA a few weeks back. James was excited to go back and ride Small World, Alice, and the Nemo subs. He was so excited that he had trouble finishing his waffle breakfast at the "Letter Q Hotel" (James' name for Quality Inn and Suites).

We like staying at the Letter Q because we know what to expect and have good vacation trip memories. The price is good for the quality, and they have free breakfast, with make-your-own waffles, which the kids have loved.

Even though this local was right next to a construction zone (and had lost about a third of their property to the new development) the noise was not the issue I'd feared. We enjoyed a quiet room and filling breakfast every morning.

At Disneyland, James humoured me and went on the teacups. I tried to keep the spinning to a minimum, because he does not enjoy it very much any more. Yes, we rode It's a Small World every morning. I do enjoy the holiday version, though, and we usually end up singing carols on the ride.

Two new favourite rides emerged from our trip: James became a fan of the Buzz Lightyear Astroblasters, and especially the Star Tours rides. Wow! I guess all the repeated YouTube viewings of Star Tours and ep. 7's buzz overcame his dislike of sudden shifts and drops. It was so neat watching James enjoy the more immersive rides. The newer system that replaced the old Guest Assistance card helped us out with the crowds too. More on that later.

We also got James on Soarin' Over California once, which was a huge thing. We celebrated with a few rounds of Monster's Inc. Ride. Olaf was at home next door, so we played in the snow and went sledding. Seriously! Unfortunately Elsa was at the end of her meet and greet. James would have liked to say hello. We had a great race in a red race car in Radiator Springs  It is nice that Disneyland and California Adventure are places where he can do things, like other kids.

Movie Review: Peanuts Movie

Wrapping up a long holiday weekend after a super-stressful couple of weeks. We wanted a family movie, and considered The Good Dinosaur. When I looked up the movie times, I saw a reminder ad for the monthly Sensory Sensitive Films. For November, it was the Peanuts Movie. Sold!

What is a sensory sensitive movie showing? It's:

• Leaving the lights partially up ...
• Turning the soundtrack much lower than regular showings ...
• Creating a welcome environment for families with members who cannot tolerate loud noises, sit still through a movie, or have verbal stims to help get them through something exciting like a movie out in public.

Our local theatre provides this on the last Saturday of each month at 10:00 am, and I salute the heck out of them for this!
Back to the movie ... James knows the Peanuts gang. He may not have grown up reading them in the newspapers the way I did, and we don't have TV, so he's missed the TV specials on holidays, but the Vince Guaraldi soundtrack is a perennial favourite at home and on car trips. Every week on our shopping trip, James looks for Peanuts character dolls in our local Trader Joe's -- James has friends among the crew members, who "help"him look -- he loves his lollipop reward for finding their hideout in the store. We've visited Snoopy's Ice Arena, toured the Charles Schultz Museum (which also sponsors traveling Science Exhibits for our schools), and cursed the Red Barron in the skies overhead during our annual air show at the Charles M. Schultz airport -- of course we wanted to see this movie!

Two thumbs up for a well-done tribute to the series and characters. I was not sold on the 3D-ish animated treatment until I saw it onscreen -- it's a simple (to look at), charming mix of old and new that I think works very well. The characters look, sound, and feel very true to what I grew up with. Snoopy, who I feel became much larger and complicated than originally intended, was, to me, very recognizable. All his personae were there: good dog/Charlie Brown's ally, WWI Flying Ace, Joe Cool, Dark & Stormy Night writer, and Woodstock's friend. Charlie Brown's honesty, compassion, and staying true to himself despite all his bad luck shines through in a very refreshing way that I think has been missing from recent Peanuts animations.

The plot is simple, like Peanuts was written/drawn for the newspapers, and the kids are refreshingly kid-like and timeless, without being cloying or too mature. A lot of familiar and well-loved themes are woven into the simple story in a way that feels like snuggling down in a familiar patchwork quit that visually cues happy memories. If you like the Peanuts gang, you should definitely see this movie. If you are looking for modern re-imaginings classics, like Cat In the Hat, The Grinch, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or the Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, this is probably not for you.

Speaking as a parent of sensory-overloaded kids, having the soundtrack down low was a big help. I really liked the way the dogfights were not too loud or chaotic and the planes sounded realistic, but reproduced on a muted level. While James squirmed and started asking if the movie was going to be over before we hit the 2/3 way through mark, the vignettes were short and attention-getting. I enjoyed being able to redirect James by connecting his local experiences with the Peanuts characters to the characters onscreen, without feeling like I was detracting from the movie experience of the rest of the audience. Twice, James had to use the bathroom, and because the lights were partially up, this was not a big deal. A couple times we heard verbal stims from other audience members, and felt right at home.

Definitely, I give the movie, theatre, and film series two big Thumbs Up. We plan to return for next month's movie: The Good Dinosaur.

Testing, Testing ... Marin County Calling

Saturday morning. An hour car ride, for a morning's worth of testing. Hitting a wall, but persevering.

It was sunny, clear, and cold at home as we got into the car at 7 and headed south on 101. Over the Petaluma Hill, a cold greyish mauve fog bank lurked over the hilltops. Ghostly, white-translucent  scarves of ground fog shrouded dells, grapevines, and leafless trees. We wondered if we would see fog over the ocean, and hear, as James calls it, the "Foggy Horn."

By Novato, however, we were back into sunshine. James decided he wanted to listed to the Disneyland CD. We had fun listening to soundtracks for rides the rest of the way in. Star Tours won, with 4 repeats. He has watched the YouTube videos of the original ride so many times that we can recite the script in time to the sound track. He does a pretty decent R2 verbalization.

The testing office has a beautiful view of Mt Tam. The trees along Fourth St. are flaming autumnal colours. All this is some nice quiet time. There is plenty of work waiting for me at home.

Enjoying being in the moment.

Still looking for answers. James is worth it.