Autism Awareness: Always

It's April 2nd, and World Autism Awareness Day is almost over. I have not put blue lights out or done much writing lately, but I am awware. Every day.

Autism has punched us in the gut and wrung our hearts. It's given me a new appreciation of what I really do have, and many more blessings in the little things in life meaning so much.

• My son's hand in mine. Being able to have him tell me what happened in his day. 
• Conquering hopscotch. 
• Watching him write. 
• Hearing him read all the road signs or playing the alphabet game on the way to school. 
• Finding out he chose to play football with his classmates at free choice, instead of playing games on the computer. 
• Watching him "conduct" music from the very back of the multipurpose room during his sister's chorus performance. Having his help with household chores.

• The pat on my back and whispered "It's okay, Sweetie, it's oooo-kaaaay!" when he sees me upset or sad.

• The Trader Joe's lady, who waits for him to come visit with her after he finds the Peanuts character in the store. 
• The boys in his class who hang out of car windows and yell "Hi, James!" during after school pickup as we walk to our car. 
• Seeing peoples' faces soften as he skips past them. 

All special things I might have been too busy to notice, if I had not been made aware.

What would I hope for others to be aware of? Please don't put people in an autism box. Please don't get too caught up on test scores and check boxes. Please don't see a price tag or something dangerous.

Listen to the parents. Take a good look at all the little things, and be aware that they matter, and you can help make them happen.

Help us. Help us find answers, solutions, and a better future together.

One thing I will be doing, is walking this month to raise money and awareness for Autism Speaks . Please help, if you can, and thank you.

Small Kindnesses Make A DIfference

The kids and I hit Trader Joe's yesterday morning for the weekly grocery run. I love Trader Joe's in so many ways ... their low prices, great food, and convenient locations all match so well with our hard-to-match lifestyle. I think of them as a family partner.

After becoming a parent, they won me over in a whole new dimension -- namely their crew members' wonderful way with kids in their stores. The crew members for the store closest to us were incredibly understanding when child #1 became unexpectedly ill on aisle 2; their "things like this happen, please don't worry" response was a very relieving surprise. When they still handed out balloons, they would accommodate balloon colour requests like they would be at Nordstom's.  They *tried* to get me to see the funny side of my toddler child #2 swiping a carton of eggs and turning it upside-down just out of my reach and the cart (and refused to let me help clean up or pay for it).

Several crew members are familiar with both kids by now. If I make the weekly run by myself, they ask where the kids are. One woman asks specifically after James. His happy hunt through the store, looking for the Peanuts plush doll of the day makes people smile. When he finds the character, he runs up to the front desk and reports its location for his coveted prize: a red TJ's lollypop. Talk about motivation to speak a sentence clearly!

This week, however, he was unable to find Lucy, and he began a semi-frantic, howling meltdown, right as I was in the checkout line, trying to check my list and make sure I'd gotten everything. I got him to calm down enough to ask a crew member for a hint. They sent someone to look for her in the store. When they discovered that Lucy was AWOL, they hid Charlie Brown, and gave James' sister a "cold" clue for where they could find him. She then took James on another search, which had a happy conclusion in the freezer section, amongst the cookies.

I know they would have done this as soon as someone brought it to their attention, but these people also seem to understand how something not being in its right place was driving James into a panic. Because when his big sister told him "Lucy's on vacation," they said "That's right, and she'll be back later." Immediately, James calmed down, and afterwards I did not hear him asking constantly where Lucy was (which is something he does when someone/thing is out of place in his world).

And after a tough week (like this past one), small kindnesses mean everything. 

Breakthough

Over the past couple of months, James has become more interested in playing with other boys from his class. This is an exciting first.

First I heard the boys' names from James at home. I asked his aide, who told me I was hearing their names properly and that they were good kids who played football at recess. James watched them as the weeks passed. I heard when someone got "hit" and someone ran after the ball.

Then James moved closer, onto the field. Once of twice, they boys got carried away with their game and "hit" him as they bumped into him.

Today I heard that today, James chose playing with his classmates with some touch football over computers.

One of those sweet breakthrough moments that I intend to savour.

Planetarium Field Trip

Last week I got to help chaperone an honest to gosh field trip with James' third grade class. We visited the local JC's planetarium and sat through their show on our solar system and galaxy. Although the show is dated (Pluto is still a planet in a video), the venue is easy to get in and out of and a great place to be introduced to astronomy.

There was lots of oohing and ahhing, especially when they showed pictures over the constellations in the ceiling. James sat still through almost the entire show, which means he was interested.

I am trying to remember if I've been on a field trip with James and the best I come up with is a field trip to the pumpkin patch in preschool and kindergarten. Having me show up at James' classroom used to throw James off his routine to the extent that it would tank his day, so I haven't done one of these class activities in a while.

James is having some regressive behaviours. It's been a very stressful time outside of school and likely will be for a while longer. His reading regrouping teacher and case manager is going out on leave. His case worker from the Regional Center left and we have not yet been assigned a new one. I am working with his aide and teacher to keep him on track with practicing good behaviours and choices. We have putting leaves in the mouth, poking self with pens, and not focusing. Then on the good side, we have this on a field trip:

Planetary Project

James came home with an unusual homework assignment: choose one of the planets in the solar system to study and report upon. Mmmm hmmmm. Well, we did okay with the ostriches, so let's go planets! How to do this as a real study project? I grabbed my laptop.

James bounced right over "Can I do Decoration Hunt? I want to watch Lazy Town!"

He settled in with me on the sofa and we selected (courtesy of Google search) the following:

1. Martha Stewart creates a mobile!
   James' first choice
2. A "Solar system mobile in action"
   Our second choice; no noise - he was hooked
3. "The Solar System HD"
   James liked the HD; I loved the music. Just the perfect pacing to observe and have the chance to ask questions and talk.
4. "Our Solar System: A poster and index of best available planet images,"  by Dr. Steuard Jensen for the Alma College planetarium;
   this is the image that James used to pick his planet: Saturn
5. The Solar System - Tour the Solar System on Sea and Sky;
   fun to click through, and another eye-catching view of the planets in our solar system

Extra credit: National Geographic Live! Solar System Exploration: 50 Years … Too much talking (and some of it VERY fast) but still a good viewing. Learned some new facts myself.

Right now I am replaying The Solar System HS ... I really am enjoying the music (and the Star Trek connection).

It's really interesting to see how a different approach to starting a report project (more visual than verbal instruction) makes this more interesting to us both.

Courtesy of NASA and Cassini

Using Our Parks Pass

The big holidays and James' sister's birthday have come and gone. We're all In a bit of a letdown.
Finances are still tight but the weather is gorgeous, especially compared to the rest of the country. A kind of Christmas present to the family was an annual parks pass to our Regional Parks. So far we've been to the ocean twice, but today I wanted to be closer to home yet really get outdoors band unplugged.

We came to Riverfront Park. After some initial grumbling, it was great. We waked 10 minutes in the shade of the redwoods and emerged at pond#2. Clear skies and no wind in a protected shore meant temps at almost 70°.

It was quiet too. Far from the background noise of the rods and leaf blowers that had sent James into our back bedroom closet earlier.

For close to an hour now they've been happily busy digging in the moist bank with sticks for rocks to throw. We'ved been visited by ducks, horseback riders, dads teaching daughters to fish, and walking groups. For the most part, it's us in the outdoors: sun on our faces, and simple pleasures.

It's 2014 ...

And I've been offline.

Things have been happening again, and bottom line is I have been taking a time out to regroup. I have been online AWOL and am still getting a grip on things.

However, New Year, new perspective, new round in this thing we call Life.

I like this message:

Because:

And I will try harder to remember, in times of panic:

Because as long as I can have faith and hold on to that, the sucky things won't win.

Here is my reminder, at the bottom, in red: