Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Urban Bankrupt Life

My life is more than a little bankrupt, right now (from the Urban Dictionary). You see, I had more than a few surprises hit the fan about 10 days ago. Not my father this time. My husband. It started with a call from his MD as I was literally in the car, trying to pick up James. And no, he couldn't talk with me in depth and I could not call the school to say I'd be late picking up our son and then call the doctor back -- he was off duty, actually. He was just basically calling to tell me my husband's health was in danger of catastrophically failing and that I should meet him at the hospital. That's all. And a Happy Friday to you too, buster.

Before a week was out, I had panic discoveries of an unpleasant nature at the bank and with some utilities. I asked for financial assistance. I asked for support. I emailed heads-ups about extra crazy chez nous to the kids' teachers, who valiantly tried to support me as I tried to hold our world together with a couple of crochet hooks and one hell of a headache. With a lot of help from some very nice relatives, friends, and neighbours, I've so far been able to do it.

I feel like I'm caught in the middle of a deadly game of He Said, She Said, between my husband and his doctors. I'm actually seeing a lot of validation in the doctors' concerns, yet trying to not just believe anyone. Christmas is coming. The kids' birthdays are happening over the next three weeks. Please, just let us ALL make it through. Please, let's make some good changes and stick with them. So far they have. But how far will this go?

What do you do when your spouse, who is trying as hard as they can to be a good person and keep providing for the family, makes some bad choices that threaten their life and the family well-being? How do you keep a balance for your kids? How fast can your special needs child acclimate to new and bewildering routines? How the heck do you remain calm and not let the children know that one of their parents has been basically flirting with death?

Man, I don't know. I am making it up as I go along.

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