Careers, Hobbies, and Social Stuff

I have been working with James on the idea of developing a hobby or hobbies, so he can become more independent and directed with his free time, while engaging more with others with similar interests.

Tonight was Career Night at his school, so we went to keep pursuing this goal. It's also a good idea to get James thinking about work and what kind of life he wants to have. He wore a nice polo shirt, clean pants, and his regular shoes. I dressed up a bit.

Well, we got there and made the rounds. I tried to not lead James too much at the tables for social interactions, but his questions tended to sound like:

•  "Do you know about the high school?" (high school teachers and random tables after that) 
• "Why do you like the government?" and "What was the other country you saw?" (for the Marines representative)
• "Yeah" (lady with the cute Tutu table)
• "Do you know where the food is?" (local market representative).

That's okay, we are practicing our social interactions and learning about classes and job opportunities. 

We brought back schwag.

I found out the local market starts hiring at age 16. That's only four years away. Hmmmmm ...

Breakthrough

So, for years it has been a nerve-wracking prospect to get James bathed or swimming. While he was fascinated with water (as is typical for many kids on the spectrum), both he and his sister hated water on their head, on their faces, and especially in their ears. It really distressed them.

James kept screaming and shrieking (and he has great lungs) and fighting bath time until fairly recently. The fussing and whining and "ow-ow-OWWWW" continued to make bath time the equivalent of a forced march. Up hill. In the cold mud.

Not a lot of bathing was done.

Enter a fine combination of being able to hear Temple Grandin talk and James' team at school. I cannot tell you what exactly shifted, but my approach to bathing went from "omg, how long can I the put off" to "this needs to happen and here are your choices." James' OT gave James a bag of hygiene products for guys. James' teacher and OT came up with a chart that looks like a combination of PECs schedule and a hygiene chart. It's additional homework.

James does not want to come to school with his homework undone, which - yay -  works in our favour.

After about a month of this, James has asked to and started to handle all bathing aspects on his own. After testing to see if Mom really notices if he uses bathing water or not, he has committed to the schedule - to the extent that he now initiates bathing and prefers to shower.

Remember James and the shower? Yeah. This is happening.

Growing up, being responsible, being independent. So proud of him. So thankful it finally happened!

DVD Dividend

James recently watched Madagascar again. This time, Mr. Louis Armstrong struck a chord. Pun definitely intended. For the past three days, James has been playing, replaying, and re-re-re-replaying What A Wonderful World.

At first he asked questions about why they used the song in the movie. It's a bit trickier to explain than you'd expect.

Then he started to sing. And it was one of the coolest, sweetest things I've heard in a while. We sing it in the car. We experiment with the timing. I'll try a different song and James will stick with this one, grinning ear to ear.

Then we found this:

Makes a nice break from the everyday and national crazy going on right now.

Temple Grandin

Autism in the Family is an incredibly apt title of the conference I'll be attending today.

Temple Grandin is the headliner. Her mother will be there too, and I am intensely interested in hearing what she has to say, as autism is indeed in my family, which has disintegrated, despite best efforts to prevent its happening.

A few thoughts about Temple Grandin:

• I first heard about her from my son's helpful and informative pre-school teacher.
• I have long wanted to see her in person and hear her speak live. Being able to do so today is an incredible moment for me.
• If you don't know her, this is a great place to start: Temple Grandin Trailer
• I wonder what she considers talking points for autism for parents and educators.

After so many years in isolation, I am looking forward to being in a room of other people who get it, and have lived their experiences with autism and "Different, Not Less".

Freedom to Pursue Curiosity

Our fascination with Alexa continues. James is using this voice interface to look up definitions, something we struggled with when using a book. Now, he puts his energy into reading all the definitions and choosing one to write down.

Instead of getting hung up on the fine motor skills that frustrate him when using a dictionary, James can work independently, and is curious about words and definitions. This sometimes leads to questions and discussions, which I think is great.

Sensory Overload and Touch

I see this and am reminded of Temple Grandin and her explanation of deep pressure touch as a way to calm sensory overload:

James was under his heavy fleece blanket for quite a while tonight, laughing and cutting up over a book I'd downloaded for his Kindle. It was quite noisy in the house tonight and this was his response. Gradually, he was just singing to himself. He came out from under to see what I was up to:

So Proud

James is receiving grades for the first time. I received a photo and text on my phone from his aide this week. Someone got a 3.6 GPA.

This is the boy who kept his speech therapist guessing for over six months whether he would ever talk. The child who some special educators assured me was intellectually incapable of learning or doing math. The guy once labeled trouble, disruptive, and literally put out in the hall and otherwise sidelined against his abilities and legal rights to suit school administrators until his family and support team stepped in to back him up.

His learning and communication are unique. He is unique. So proud he is still learning and growing.