Movie Review: Finding Dory

Art Imitating Life

This is a movie that we have seen twice in the theatre. Originally we were invited to a private screening from the Swain Center. James liked it so much that we saw it again last month. I am glad I had a chance to see it again because the first time I missed a lot of the soundtrack.

Not that I would have missed that original showing for the world - oh no. I was in a theatre FULL of parents who got a jolt to the solar plexus along with me, watching Dory's parents worry about what was going to become of her. How could she live a normal life? Trying to stay cheerful when they feel caught in a nightmare; trying very hard not to cry. Because your child cannot do something basic that others can do. Because you see how they could be lost or hurt. That this sweet kid has no idea what is out there and you do. The possible consequences of your child wandering off … Yeah. There were a couple of us gripping the arm rests, vaguely comforted that we were in a room of people who would understand. Some parental tears were shed.

I think many of us saw ourselves also in Marlin's role: caring, exasperated, and in need of pausing now and then to remember what really matters. That the quirky person who can drive us nuts is also a unique, caring, special thing. Because this differently abled character has achievements and strengths. Because real friendships are there. While the accomplishments may seem boring and mundane to others, we, like Dory's parents, can stop and appreciate the victories. We all saw our trial and errors at teaching expected behaviors, coaching speech, communication through singing, and coming up with snippets to help stay on track mirrored in their efforts with her.

Review and Semi Spoilers Alert

As for the movie itself, my impression is that the journeys trumped the story. There were plenty of great new characters, as well as refreshers of familiar ones (stay  through the credits, y'all!).

Hank, the cranky octopus (or septopus) stole my heart. Becky was runner up. The colours are gorgeous and the water and ocean effects are amazing. The kids loved the lively sea creatures, such as the possessive sea lions, fallible whales, and traffic-stopping sea otters.

I greatly enjoyed Sigourney Weaver as the voice of the Oceanographic Institute. As a sometime member of the Monterey Bay Aquarium, I recognized some onscreen counterparts to the real thing.

There are many chase scenes! Yelling! Sneaky scenes. Rock stealing. Marine science. Disguises aplenty. Breakups and reunions. A continued message of finding the family of your blood and your heart. The favorite for many was the climactic car chase and dramatic conclusion. Even that had a manageable sound level. Every time a scene felt as though it might begin to drag, there was a quick change of pace or comic scene. In short, this is a really nice movie to see with your kids. While not as fantastic as Finding Nemo, it is still a very solid movie.

Four starfish and a recommended movie for kids, families, and the holiday break.

Homework Aikido

Every now and then the homework push overshadows the actual assignments. As a single parent, even the easy assignments James has can be difficult to make time for. James is also recovering from the flu and the persistent head cold that followed. The heat poured back on this afternoon, flirting with breaking 100°. The homework ch'i was wan and lacking. There was stimming and whining.

Time for a change.

I had James pack his backpack. I planned to go to the gym, with its nice lighting, air conditioning, and change of atmosphere, but completely forgot the after work crush that mobs the parking lot. No problem, just down the road was my ace in the hole: the airport:

We knocked off the spelling assignments and most of the read and answer sheets. Helicopters lifted off, passengers deplaned right onto the tarmac near us, and small planes took off into the softening blue sky. James really wanted to go back to the gym, so that is where we finished the last few assignments and then sat out near the pool, feeling the cooling breezes while the sun went down and lit the clouds a la Maxfield Parish.

We came home full of accomplishment and a much better attitude.

Fallready

So summer went like *that* (finger snap) and it is Fall. Already.

I have my autismom calendar of events that confirm the paper Gregorian version in the kitchen:

• The back to school frustration of not enough communication from the school. 
• Feeling like the I need Homeland Security Clearance to get his schedule. 
• Beginning of school year IEP request and meeting, in which I try to understand where James will be physically at which time for each IEP service and what has been changed without telling me since the last IEP team meeting. 
• School pictures, once again in a red polo shirt. There no other Picture Day shirts. 
• Newsletters via a different delivery system. 
• Requests for money from the school. 
• First days of school missed due to cold AND flu that are "going around". 
• First homework makeup packet request and turn in. 
• First meltdown over reading assignment. 
• First sneaking of Crocs instead of sneakers to school. 
• Verbal stimming begins over a new teacher's name. 
• I try to commit a new aide's name to memory. 
• We set up new routines for homework and find The One Pencil that is tolerable for completing assignments. 
• Been called by the new school because the out sick message got lost. 
• Been called to leave work and pick him up because he was distraught. 
• Three evil bouts with constipation (and calls from the school or aide). 
• One email skirmish on why he was sent out for making noise / misunderstanding of what happened.

I have some more homework to do before meeting again with his team. After that, I intend to enjoy Fall with James and build up some fortitude before the return from Winter break sets off a new flurry of excitement.

Autism Audibles

Was just called "Uncle Mother" by James. Not quite sure where the fixation on uncles is coming from this morning, but he's exploring it.

Summer Reading Program 2016

Last week I signed James up for the Summer Reading Program at our wonderful library branch. This will be a good time to just sit together unplugged and read.

Our first two books:

The Big Honey Hunt (the Berenstain Bears - James' choice)

 

Horrible Harry Goes Cuckoo (my choice; I thought James would identify with the challenges of keeping still)

Oh boy!

Sibling DIfferences In Shoe Shopping

She: Visit several stores, punctuated by hangry episodes and at least a dozen variations of "I want them, but: there's a seam / tightness in the toes / no one wears shows like this / nah." Buy at least one pair of new socks to make show wearing bearable. Can't be any socks, there are usually at least 3 qualities that MUST be present for sock wearing. Deal with Accessories Temptation on both our parts.

Finally get lucky at REI / Big 5, far from home. Once (as in only once) I scored during Black Friday Deals weekend at Old Navy with Uggs. Current favourite shoes are glossy black rain boots. They look fantastic, but they are rain boots, bought on Amazon.com after searching in vain at Garretts, Old Navy, Costco, and Target.

 

He: Make plans to spend up to an hour at Payless Shoes, mostly looking for the right size and something on sale-ish. Run late and decide WalMart will have take care of frozen chicken nuggets, bigger underpants, and shoes for James.

Stroll down shoe aisle at the back of the store, after scoring last package of undies in the new size. Spot 2 pairs very blue tennis shoes. Whisk off his sandal and hold them up to the soles and decide he's probably now a size 6. Ask if he likes them. "Yes." Ask if he really will wear these shoes. Every day. "Yes." Purchase shoes after snagging chicken nuggets. We pretty much traveled in a rectangle inside the store and were out in 20 minutes, 5 minutes from home. With any luck, both pairs will last for more than 6 months.

A Little Vacuum Miracle

Another "first."

The old vacuum (I cannot even remember how old it was) has finally died a slow, ugly, noisy, smelly death. I knew it was time to give it up and get a new machine when the old model started channeling the Exorcist by spewing out what it had just tried to consume creating hazy, odoriferous mayhem. I put off finding a replacement for as long as I could.

Over the past dozen years or so, vacuuming has become a traumatic event - for the kids because of the noise (it would literally send James running, screaming as he bolted in panic to escape the noise) and for me because it turned the chore into a horrible beat the clock kind of ordeal that had to be planned and frantically executed in a small amount of time when the kids were not around (which got even more challenging once I went back to work full time and the vacuum started breaking down and needing constant fixing).

Even opening the closet and seeing the red instrument of malevolent cacophony would set of anxiety attacks for James, who would then need constant reassurance that that hideous thing would soon be safely back behind closed doors. Unplugged. No really, I mean it.

So, new vacuum. I debated endlessly the merits of vacuums. We have cats. There is dirt galore. Crumbalanches have been known to happen in areas near the TV. I discover that lower decibel vacuums for pet owners in a modest price range are now a thing. Excitement! After hours of research and second-guessing myself, I schlepped off to Costco for a new Shark. I've never bought one before, but it got good reviews online and was on sale.

As I was eyeing the two Shark models on display, an older gentleman paused his cart alongside mine and regarded me with faint dismay. "Oh my, no. You are thinking of buying the Shark?" Out whisked a business card. "Forgive me, but I run a vacuum repair shop in town. You do not want a Shark. Those things come in for repairs? They are useless. Just a big metal paperweight. I am sorry for for interrupting but I just could not help myself. You can call the number on the card if you need anything." And off he sailed, as gracious as all get out.

Okay, Universe, I can take a hint. Hoover Wind Tunnel it was.

I got it home, assembled it, and turned it on. Oh my goodness - it really is a lot quieter!! And it does work well. I just have to continuously empty the canister. That's okay, though. It's easier to get to the canister and overall it is much lighter and easier to maneuver than the old one. It was more on sale than either of the two Sharks. My favourite feature? Auto-retractable cord. Yes!

The mini miracle? James isn't scared of it. He even came out to see how it worked. Both hands over his ears and bent over with anxiety, but I actually think he will get more used to this. He even tried pushing the vacuum himself. This is one of the times I am doing a victory whoop and dance inside my head. Yes!!!! We are just that much closer to mastering another life skill.

Which is good, because our mastery with the mop still needs a LOT of work. But that's another story ...