I Think He's Left, But Is That Right?

How do we determine hand dominance? It's a question about James that's been bugging me for almost a year. His sister was pretty easy to determine as a right-handed and footed person because she consistently used the right side of her body to write, draw, kick, and throw. James, in keeping with the mysterious/super powers aspect of his personality, is keeping the whole dominant hand card game close to his chest (with both hands).

Last year, when he had better mastery of eating with utensils and was starting to use markers and paint brushes, I started watching his to see which hand he used. A lot of times it was his left. Then he started to use his right. I know that many kids do this, but by a certain age, children need to have a dominant hand to support. I started discussions with his preschool teacher, who recommended a wait-and-see approach, as well as a helpful suggestion of not handing him something, but rather putting it on the table in between his left and right hand. James continued to experiment, but then picked it up with his left and transferred to his right.

Through this Spring and Summer, he continued to throw consistently with his left hand, kick with his left foot. He also used his left fingers to draw in the sand and WRITE HIS NAME IN THE CAPRET (this, when his teacher and O/T said he could not write and needed to concentrate on making circles and crosses). Yet for table activities he usually picked up with his left and transferred to his right.

I am not trying to discount the knowledge and experience of James' preschool teacher or O/T (the same O/T as in his preschool), but I continue to push the question of hand dominance with James. There are many left-handed people in my Mom's side of the family, and my uncle has shared stories about being punished when using his left hand and being made to use his right (which he hated and now no longer does). My mother taught SpEd for many years and I remember her talking about how not determining hand-eye-foot dominance can make some learning disabilities harder to overcome. In short: I worry that James' development will be negatively impacted by this protracted waffling about which is his dominant hand.

I am now being told that "some people" are ambidextrous, which is "fine". That "some people" don't settle on a dominant hand "for a while". That "some people" have a dominant left foot and a dominant right hand. This adds to my concern, because while I am sure this is fine and dandy for many of the "some people", this is our James, and I think we need to start supporting the appropriate hand NOW, because he is just getting this school thang, is absolutely in love with it, and does better when he builds consistently on a routine.

I've watched him get excited about playing a game with other kids in a room full of beach balls, just waiting to be kicked. I've seen how long it takes his brain to process (1) the ball (2) the activity (3) triangulation of said ball in regards to his body (4) figuring out where his legs, then feet are (5) shifting from one foot to another to find his starting foot and then (6) brace on one foot and start the kick with the other. Somewhere in between steps 4 and 6, I watch another kid zoom in and kick his ball out from under his foot. Yes, that's a game; he had fun and practiced; it won't always be like that. I want this to limit this happening with him at school, learning-wise.

I'm his mom and I worry. It goes with the job. If anyone has any helpful ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Water Buddy

Even though we hit the road in October, Southern California had one more heat wave up its sleeve for us. As the temps climbed and baked us in the mid-90s, the kids became increasingly excited about using our hotel's pool. The high outdoor temps were key, because the outdoor pool was not heated.

Even though James is a wader and refuses to get his head wet (let alone blow bubbles or do "bobs"), he has become more confident when playing in the water. I am sure being bigger has a lot to do with it, but I like to think all those trips to our gym's pool and watching his sister's classes helped too. In fact, it was at the gym's pool this summer that James started to engage in water splashing fights, and did not get too upset when splashed in the face.

I enjoyed the fact that I did not have to be in the water right there with the kids too. I love swimming and water play, but being able to thumb through a magazine (waiting to be read since July) while soaking up the sun and watching the kids made me feel even more like I was on vacation. Here was another first for us all.

It was really fun to watch him play in the water. Because he can now walk down the pool steps to the bottom of most pools, James tends to stay in the water longer. I no longer have to slap a floatie on him if I am poolside. His sister has been successful with swimming dogpaddle style by herself so my focus can be on him. James' focus was on his sister (and, one afternoon his cousin) as she kicks, cavorts, and leaps off the side of the pool into the deeper water. It made me feel so good that he laughed and was a part of it. Next year, I hope he's doing some more cavorting of his own.

Fountain Fascination

What is it about kids and fountains? Is it the sound? Motion? Sensory stimulation? Or is it all about the playing?

We have a nice one at our Town Green and the kids love the one at Preston Vineyards. During our recent trip to Thousand Oaks, both kids spent long periods of time playing by this fountain:

Made me happy, because I had a chance to relax and drink my morning coffee rations slowly, watching them enjoy themselves. The warmer weather (80* before 9:30am) helped too.

Fountain Hit Parade:

Town Green Fountain

Play Factor at Discovery Museum in Sausalito

Preston Vineyards

Reading Together

As posted earlier, I was pleased to see that reading was high on the vacation activities list. It's so much easier to pack books than toys, and it's better than watching TV or movies. Big sister gets to practice reading and leadership ... little brother wants to grow up to be just like her. Plus, they have an activity they like to do together:

There was an added bonus to this, in that both of their schools had a Scholastic Book Fair in the week before we left. I got each of them 2 books for the trip and their libraries and their schools got free books. They got the surprise of a "present" and we had the satisfaction of providing a gift that will keep on giving. Even if it's about SpongeBob.

Packing Lists ... the Shorter Version Rules!

Even though it means more travel time, I prefer to drive down to the LA area from the Bay Area. Honestly, I do not think James could wait successfully in the security lines, and all the noise and people would freak him out. I am sure that just as we made it to the head of the screening line, he'd bolt. Yeah,   I so don't ever want to test that paranoid fantasy ...

Also, I have more freedom to PACK. Airline weight restrictions aside, many items we used to entertain the kids (or keep them fed & clean) involved Prohibited items (milk, water, nail clippers, scissors, food). Besides, by the time we got to the airport, parked the van, took the shuttle to the terminal, got through security, and checked in, and flew into a SoCal airport (assuming the plane was not delayed a couple of hours or oversold) we'd be in Bakersfield or further south. Trumping everything else is the fact that James cannot stand random up & down motions and has extremely sensitive ears.

But back to the packing list. Clothes are the easy part. Food is pretty easy because our kids are picky eaters. I usually do the weekly shopping at Trader Joe's and shlep it with us and we're good for most meals. Equipment is my Waterloo. It's getting much better. I used to pack 2 bags per child for special toys/comfort items. Of course they were items used daily, so it had to be done at the last minute, while taking care of home chores for the week or so we'd be gone. Recipe for stress and cortisone overload: Bing!

Here's a sample of what we packed this time:
@ Daughter: conditioner, brush, sparkle hair spray, nail polish, tooth brush, paste, flossers, mouth wash, Chapstick/lip gloss, plug-in nite lite

@ Son: pull ups, Balmex (hands-down my fav to deal with any kind of rash), powder, wet wipes, tooth brush, nail clipper, tooth brush, paste, floss

We had some extras in there because we had tickets for Trick-or-Treating at Disneyland. When in Rome ... eh? The exciting part was that everything fit in 1 bag per child. If not for the costumes, it would have been 1 bag for both kids ...

Here's the bog difference for me, when considering logistics for the trip:
-------- ephemera ----------
• 2 books
• 1 sketch pad
• MagnaDoodle
• phone
• camera & download cable
• chargers for phone and camera
• scissors
• sewing kit
• old crib mattress & sheet
• picnic blanket
• double stroller

The first 8 items fit in one reuseable bag. The next 2 items we use for bunking James in hotels. This is because he rolls off the side of a bed easily, and once he whacked his head. We find a nice corner for him, put down the picnic blanket and then set him up with the crib mattress and his blankies, which he travels with. Sometimes we even use the picnic blanket if we're also stopping at the beach. It's heavy-duty, and lined with this vinyl on the underside. Strange as it seems, I still find use for the double stroller. It's like having a nanny with strong arms while spending 15 hour days at an amusement resort. James still likes to buckle himself in -- it seems to make him feel secure.

This is what we did not bring: box(es) of diapers, special feeding cups and plates, toys that run on batteries and make lots of noise when buttons are pushed, white noise machine, ice, beads on a wire, porta potty chair, booster seat, books that make noise when you push buttons, spinning toys, toy phones, stacking toys, teething toys, portacrib, excessive stuffed animals, or extra "lovey" pillows.

Vacation just got better!

There and Back ... Again

We are back from an early second trip of the year to visit family and friends in SoCal. Excitement, new experiences, and I am happy to report that that there were no incidents of either car sickness or constipation. Progress!

Early on a Friday morning, we hopped in our van and made our way to I-5, which became our friend for the next 5 or so hours. The kids and I were able to enjoy a late-afternoon nap that ended with the start of the Grapevine. Could that connecting segment be any rougher? It's almost like a speed bump and comes right before the CHP station, which is probably a good thing.

This was quite a different trip for me. We've been doing this ~1,000-mi R/T thang for over 7 years now, but this was the first time I hadn't had to pack an extra bag of white noise machine, diapers, and small children toys. The portable CD player, for the first time, went completely unused. This was liberating for me. Less to fret over packing and tracking the entire way. What entertained the kids? Books, a pad of paper & crayons, and for James, a Magnadoodle:

If his smile looks different, it's because he lost his second tooth on the trip. The first one disappeared at school before we left. My buddy is growing up!

I loved how well the Magnadoodle worked. It focused James when he was at loose ends. It had no batteries or cords. He could use it anywhere and it occupied him for hours, allowing him to indulge in his latest obsession, Writing His Letters and Spelling His Own Name. Take that, Bembridge Scholars!

The trip was to visit family, help a family member move, and meet up with friends at Disneyland. We sure got our money's worth out of this trip, and it will take several posts to cover it all.

Safe to say that on the trip back up, we'd had our fill of fun, and were happy to enjoy the ride home as we unwound from vacation overdrive and rested up for more school.

Magic Marker Monday: Fat Crayons

Giving James writing instruments can be fraught with peril. With pens and markers, he wants to decorate his skin and the walls, not use them on paper. Paint winds up everywhere, especially his fingers (and everywhere he can put said painty fingers). Even if I give him a brush.  He has not been able to maintain a good grip on regular pencils and crayons, and tends to break and chew them.

This year, his O/T and aide at school are working on using a pencil grip to improve his fine motor skills. His teacher from last year reminded us that he does much better with fatter pencils and crayons. I managed to find some big crayons that he had not yet broken and set him up with paper and crayon. He went through several sheets, front and back, solemnly drawing Jand j ,,, and his name:

J .... a .... m   (we are still working on the e and s)

I am enjoying this while it lasts. He is asking me to be able to do his "homework". I hope that one day he'll start drawing his own pictures, and tell us all about them!

Visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.