When Remote Is Better

So, full disclosure: my mileage for most parental and family things has so much variance (how much variance?) ... so much that one can call Ollie-Ollie-Oxen-Free over to me at the extreme range of Autism Lifestyle - that's how far out there I am.

So, the shelter in place as a result of COVID-19 has been - kind of a godsend. My life has SLOWED.

• I am lucky to be able to work from home. 
• I don't have to spend my lunch half hour dashing home to get hime ready for school / established at home until I finish my last couple hours of work. 
• I can flex for meals on-the-fly for us both. 
• I get to see what he is doing for school and assist at times.
• My breaks are in my own garden and it feels like a miracle of peace. 
• I can set up an office and work/take calls on my back deck and nature watch. 
• It feels so healthy. 

I see benefits for James as well:

• The paper in his mouth stimming has almost vanished.
• Escapes to the bathroom are greatly reduced.
• His mornings are more relaxed while getting back onto a schedule because I don't have to wrassle him awake / dressed / breakfasted before getting him on the bus in the mornings.

I give a million kudos to his teacher and support staff at his school. They have been consistently upbeat, accessible, calm, kind, and encouraging. They make our world a better place.

Flexible OT Jam Session

James had a great OT session yesterday.

First of all, let me say that I am thrilled that James has progressed from missing all OT sessions (despite our best efforts) to managing his own school schedule and being ready for the remote OT sessions on Google Chat.

Second, each session is different, with his OT teacher being flexible to accommodate how James' day is going. This keeps James interested.

Today I got to watch some sensory breaks with stretches, breathing, and a sensory brush. His therapist then caught sight of the practice guitar on our kitchen chair, and turned the session (which had been stalling out) into an impromptu play session with guitars. He got James to strum a bit, then played songs and invited James to guess the song that he was playing and to sing along. It was great!

James is still not exercising much (and our heat advisory is not helping that) but this does help get him moving around and shaking things out. It also gives him an opportunity to engage with someone in a playful, back and forth manner, which James loves.

Virtual Talent Show: SIP Edition

Each year, James' school puts on a talent show. I give them all kinds of kudos because those productions are not easy, even without special needs.

As this is our first year with the school, I did not know what to expect. Then there was this shelter in place thing -- how to coordinate the show, view performances ... wow. In the end, it was so worth it.

The kids LOVED it. There was 150% cheering and support for every effort. The event used pre-recorded and live segments, and we all watched on the Chromebooks.

I think it's one of my most favourite school events in the history of my kids' school events, the other being my daughter's amazing and adorable performance as a rainforest porcupine.

 James chose to ... be the announcer for his classroom's contribution. We taped his lines and mailed them to the school. He nailed it - so proud!

PS: This is the first time that James was included in a school production since his one-of-a-kind Third Grade class (as a full-inclusion student), when his wonderful teacher and fabulous aide together got the entire class to perform an ocean-themed musical for parents and the school. He was a lobster for that one. 

Thank you, Anova teachers and staff!!

Vocalization, Education

Today, during a school assignment, James paused to asked me, "what is vocalization?"

"Well," I answered, "it can mean anything from talking (being vocal), to singing, to ..."

"What, Mother?"

"Ululation."

Cue YouTube search, which found us watching this:



Learning can be fundamental!

Safe, in the Time of COVID-19

Three snap-thoughts on the word "safe" - and a nice resource link.

One: When one's senses are continuously dialed to eleven (auditory and skin sensations in particular for James), it can feel like constant bombardment. Throw in losing a family, home, school/community, and trust in people you are attached to staying with you, and things become treacherous. Oh, and rather suddenly, you're a teen and shot up 6" or more in less than a year? To misquote Douglas Adams: Doubly so to all of the above. Safe becomes haven, sanctuary, release.

Two: Things that make James feel safe now? Not being in the apartments. His current school, Anova. His own room with his own bed. Being surrounded by really tall trees.

I asked him about this recently. This has been his incentive for keeping on-task and completing assignments: going out for a drive at the end of the day. He keeps asking to go to the redwoods. I asked if it was because they were so tall and calm and he said "Yes".

I agree. Being surrounded by tall trees in nature for a visit is very relaxing. The air is stiller. Sound even gets muffled.

Three: James has definitely noticed COVID-19 and the crazy fails going on in our government at the top levels right now. He's home. School is on a laptop. No more respite or ABA visits. Most of us wear masks now outside. He watched YouTube videos. School is helping make James feel safer, as is being in his own home. He asks me questions, several of which come out of his watching videos online.

Resources: It's tough figuring out the best (i.e., reassuring yet accurate) responses. Here is one of the better online articles I have found for helping form a response and support: Mayo Clinic's: How To Talk to Your Kids About COVID-19.

Here are two more: The Verge's: How to Talk with Kids about Screentime and COVID-19 and The Clay Center's: 7 Ways to Support Kids and Teens Through the Coronavirus Pandemic.

If you can, take a nature break, even if you have to stay in a car. Park and roll down the windows. Close your eyes. And breathe. We are lucky that we now can do this in our back yard. Sometimes, even looking at a photo from one of our outings helps:

Routine, Auteen, and Quarantine

Struggling to Master a New World Order

I am working hard to maintain a schedule and routine during quarantine. It is not easy. James is still growing. He sleeps like a true teen now. Getting him to wake up in time for school is another big challenge for keeping on schedule.

Then there is the added anxiety of COVID-19 and staying at home. James is moving slower than a turtle and has developed a nervous tic of go back / forth, side / side, type a letter / erase it ... it can take half an hour to get out of our small house, down 3 steps and into the waiting car at the bottom.

A good place to start, from Blessing Manifesting

Getting James on a routine means getting me on a routine, something I do not care for, especially when I feel so pressed for time. Still, it makes such a big, positive difference that I keep trying. As soon as I feel I have something in place, a bubble warps up somewhere in our lives.

And so we start again. Thank goodness for James' school. The teachers are so calm, patient, and encouraging. I stayed up last night as a kind of talisman for James as he finally got going on some homework. Five hours to do two assignments that might take me 10 minutes. He made it VERY clear that he wanted to do it.

So I snuggled into my big reading armchair and finished a short book until he was done. Thank goodness Burger King stays open late still. We celebrated with a late night treat (for him) and a drive in search of deer. We didn't see any, but we had a good time.

No "Return To Normal" - And That's Okay

Autism: Day, night, 24/7, pandemic, "normal" life ... a different OS where you can cry a lot, but find your heart.

Photo is from a past walkathon for Autism Speaks. Autism families, sharing the love.