The Little Things That Drag Me Down

It's been a week ... of increased eloping, use of the middle finger, trying to peek in the neighbour's windows, and BM woes. I don't have a concrete "why". This seems to happen periodically. 

I have been sleeping in the living room, to make sure he does not leave the house at night, and driving him to summer program because I the morning routine must be rebuilt (again) and I want the rest of his day to go as well as possible. 

He is riding in the front seat because he kept popping his seat belt and making a game out of it. Much harder to do in front. After the initial pushback (which got loud and somewhat physical), he now cheerfully hops into the front passenger seat on his own. I still have to check his buckle as I drive.

As I type, I have the door next to the neighbour's double locked, with a big basket of laundry on the floor in front of it and doorknob jingle bells on the outside door handle, to make sure he gets the message to redirect to a different activity and alert me if he goes for the door anyway.

His aunt has been marvelous, patiently talking on the phone, answering texts, and getting him out of the house and trying fruits again. ABA will be thrilled. It does take a village.

And the laundry - there has been so much enzyme cleaning, cleansing ... load after load (thank the universe I have in-home laundry and we are not on rationed water). I have to carefully time the drying because we keep having heat waves and our home has no a/c. 

Behaviour outbursts from anxiety that comes from visits (that he tells me he wants) with his father, constipation, boredom, and hormones.

I breathe, try to fall into calm, and get through these moments. I am lucky I can recharge in quiet moments with music, time in my garden, and friends.

Sometimes caring for someone with autism isn't dramatic, but instead a constant drip of small things that interrupt trains of thought and tasks attempted. Both can be emotionally draining and exhausting.