Death: The Difficult Script

How do you talk with someone with autism when someone close to you is dying?

People with autism typically deal better with routines, facts, and literal communication.

Getting up close with death, grief, and end of life on a daily basis tends to blow that all out of the water. Especially when the main care giver is impacted, like myself.

James picks up on emotions. He wants everyone to be happy. I think because he understand that and the other emotions are more complicated and bewildering.

We have already covered the basics of dying, as in it is a natural thing that tends to happen when people get old -- their bodies start to give out and shut down. They get slower, move less, sleep more, and can have bad periods and better periods. Once they die, they do not breathe. They do not open their eyes. They do not talk. They are not alive.

This is really hard to stay calm and discuss. But I need to. The tears and distress I show tend to bring out behaviours. Sometimes I cannot help being overwhelmed, but I stay as calm as I can and talk through it, letting James know this too is natural and part of life. Maybe if he sees me with these messier emotions and still being able to be me and keep on going, it will help him to do that too.

In the days to come, I will need to talk more with James, about what will be happening next, as well as what he will need to do. I will have to come up with some conversational scenarios. How do you script death? And keep it literal but not too socially unexpected?

Guess I will find out.

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