Sick of Being Sick

I thought we were doing really well, with only my daughter succumbing to a bout of the flu early in the school year and me with a sinus cold just before Halloween.

Well, then December hit. Duh-duh-duhhhhhhh!!! My daughter's birthday, Christmas, gifts & cards for not only family & friends, but for teachers (or in James' case, his support team of 7). Oh, and don't forget James' birthday to follow early in the New Year!

Yeah, the sinus cold came roaring back, and gave me 2 presents: bronchitis and a sinus infection. I blame not being able to sleep, due to kids having bad dreams and James coming down with a cold (later to bloom inot a raging ear infection; we were on antibiotics at the same time: yay. not). Oh, and the fact that our temps would bounce between 70 and 20 degrees a couple of times a week. So not healthful.

James, bursting into howls of "Mooommeeeee" and tears at his schools Christmas performance. The meds had just started to kick in and his aide said he did great singing with his class, but it was Game Over when he saw me.

Two weeks before Christmas, I threw in the towel and basically shut down. There are a couple of people who will be getting their Christmas in January. Sorry, that's how it goes this year.

I spent my days on the sofa, reading Meg Cabot and drinking enormous quantities of tea. Who cares if I doze off or lose my place when I get dog-piled by the kids? It's Meg Cabot, my tasty bon-bon lit of the moment.

It really, really sucks being "It" for 2 kids and a husband while being dragged under constantly by a virus and infection. It's not like I can call a friend or hire a sitter. My friends are either up to their eyeballs themselves or 70 miles away and happily involved in their own lives. No money for a sitter. And the respite care folks? Well, our luck has broken with them and lately I've been hearing more promises than opening the door to actual aides. I understand, it's the holidays. Still sucks for me.

Days like this are when I feel tired, having to be on call 24/7 (because my husband, in addition to working full-time, has seen his commute balloon out to about 2.5-3 hours each way on a regular basis -- you do the math, he's wiped too). My folks were down & out from this virus too. In fact, a high point was high-fiving each other weakly as we managed to swap favours one day.

I don't know if it's the cold, being off his schedule, or a growth spurt (or probably a combo of them all), but James has suddenly become uber-sensitive to noises: the bathroom fan, the microwave, any music on the stereo. He screams and becomes so upset. So add to all the activities, trying to balance being protective of him and not letting him get walled in too much by sensitivities. He's also become very clingy and I keep hearing "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" every 5 minutes. Sometimes my head feels like it's about to explode.

I am so sick of being sick. I am trying to hang in there, breathe as deeply as possible, and focus on having a healthier start to 2011. I am trying to keep a check on my whinging about being sick so I can manage to enjoy some of the good things that have been happening: Our daughter having a great birthday party with her new classmates, both kids' faces when they saw their first new bikes on Christmas morning, quiet moments when my husband and I could just relax and watch the kids having fun ... and Meg Cabot on the sofa. With a pot of tea.