I admit that I am really bad at processing words that I hear. So when James starts verbalizing and trying to say new words, I get excited, then I curse. Because I stink at understanding what it is he's trying to say. Thank goodness for Dad, who has no such problems!
This morning, at a stately 70° for breakfast, James started saying "a-Pop! aaaaa-Pob!" My husband and I were mystified, until James also started with the Xtreme LipSmacking noises. Eureka: the word was "popsickle!" Who knew? And I hate feeling so helpless!
Sometimes I think James is trying to say "open," before realizing he is excited because he has heard an "airplane," and is trying to tell me about it.
The absolute worst is when he looks right at me and lets out a string of careful verbalization. Over & over. With that hopeful, engaging look. And I can't understand one thing he is trying to tell me.
Talk about frustration and feelings of failure!!
Where is my Babelfish?
I love it when his sister translates for him, though. She delights in the absurd and has come out with some doozies, like "James is saying his fish tank patoobahs his oboes." She and James both laugh, because it has become a Game for them.
On a hopeful note or seven: James is getting much better with repeating a word back to us ... and remembering it for later use on his own.
And right now, James is trying to blow bubbles through the kitchen sponge that he has over his face ... gotta go!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Lessons on Becoming a Patient Parent
Most of us accept that when we become parents, we will have to be adults and adopt a more patient attitude, withhold from overt emotional storms whenever possible, and lead our children by our own examples.
Man that is hard when I am not having a great day.
Such as (and thanks to Joe Bob Briggs for the numbering system):
I had trouble going ahead with volunteering in classrooms as planned and held my support phone calls until after the kids were down and out for their naps. I only mentioned the heat when James' SHAPE assistant showed up to work with him this afternoon.
I know there are others out there with more things to deal with, but today has just pushed all my buttons. So I try and breathe. I think I need to be the calm adult so I don't scare my kids and make them neurotic. I sneak off to the bathroom and freak out occasionally. I've made my support calls. And I watch the skies and news reports.
Man that is hard when I am not having a great day.
Such as (and thanks to Joe Bob Briggs for the numbering system):
Numero uno: Someone let their dog run and poop on our lawn -- two of 'em, so maybe it was two dogs. We have a fence on 3 sides of our lawn. I hate picking up other peoples' messes. They waited until I'd left to take my daughter to school, help out there, and drop off paperwork for James before letting them loose on our lawn.
Numero two-o: At 11:30 AM it's already 96° in the shade & still big gusts of wind and some dumb guy in a big truck in front of me flips his lit cigarette out his window while speeding down the highway. Right near some fields of dry grass. I lost my home and entire neighbourhood to a wildfire about 16 years back and idiotic, selfish acts like this still make me see red.
Numero three-o: The outdoor cat, whom we've unofficially adopted, brought us another present of a dead rat. Normally, this would be pretty good news, except that my 5 y-o daughter saw her in the process of killing the rat, had a zillion questions and wanted to stay for the whole show. And guess who's been getting the thrilling job of double-bagging those bad boys? In the middle of a big heat wave and thanks, but garbage pickup was so yesterday already? Hint: Moms get all the bestest assignments!
Numero four-o: It's now over 100° and the wind is blowing. I saw big smoke clouds from three different fires in less than 2 hours this morning and a spotter plane & Borade bomber just took off over our house. The hairs on the back of my neck are up and I want to just hit something.
I had trouble going ahead with volunteering in classrooms as planned and held my support phone calls until after the kids were down and out for their naps. I only mentioned the heat when James' SHAPE assistant showed up to work with him this afternoon.
I know there are others out there with more things to deal with, but today has just pushed all my buttons. So I try and breathe. I think I need to be the calm adult so I don't scare my kids and make them neurotic. I sneak off to the bathroom and freak out occasionally. I've made my support calls. And I watch the skies and news reports.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Night Swimming
It was so hot today that I took the kids swimming tonight at 8 after dinner. It was a fantastic experience!
The sun was down and the blue sky was swooshed over with dramatic clouds that threw back orange-pink light on us. The air was warm and still. The water was delicious on our skin. The quarter moon was soft and misty behind some gauzy clouds. I felt like we were in a big Maxfield Parrish snowglobe.
It was one of those nights I hope I'll always remember. Especially the looks on the kids' faces -- total amazement and delight.
This is James' first time in the pools since last year. I think he will like spending more time there and in the River.
First we stood on the steps of the middle pool, and then headed to the wading pool. His sister was very good and gave him a kick board to play with. He immediately called it a boat and put both hands on it, getting more into the water. James' words for this outing: wa'er (water), 'im/s'im (swim), boe (boat), moon, boo (blue), ah-pen (airplane). He put the words water and boat together! He leaned over and got his arms wet up to his elbows, and he brought his face so close to the surface that he got water on his cheek. He learned to get out of the wading pool by himself. He would walk carefully to me and then launch himself into space so I could catch and lower him back into the water. We will work on his re-entry!
The sun was down and the blue sky was swooshed over with dramatic clouds that threw back orange-pink light on us. The air was warm and still. The water was delicious on our skin. The quarter moon was soft and misty behind some gauzy clouds. I felt like we were in a big Maxfield Parrish snowglobe.
It was one of those nights I hope I'll always remember. Especially the looks on the kids' faces -- total amazement and delight.
This is James' first time in the pools since last year. I think he will like spending more time there and in the River.
First we stood on the steps of the middle pool, and then headed to the wading pool. His sister was very good and gave him a kick board to play with. He immediately called it a boat and put both hands on it, getting more into the water. James' words for this outing: wa'er (water), 'im/s'im (swim), boe (boat), moon, boo (blue), ah-pen (airplane). He put the words water and boat together! He leaned over and got his arms wet up to his elbows, and he brought his face so close to the surface that he got water on his cheek. He learned to get out of the wading pool by himself. He would walk carefully to me and then launch himself into space so I could catch and lower him back into the water. We will work on his re-entry!
Windows
Every now and then I catch myself watching the kids. I think I know what's going on, but really I am watching through my Mommy Window into their world.
Right now, the kids are watching a cat in the backyard. James has started saying "mow, meow" when he sees it. He wants to pet the cat, like his sister does, but can't quite do it. He and the cat circle each other, both curious, yet cautious.
What is James thinking? What is he seeing? How does he experience this house and his family? Sometimes I think I know. Others, I haven't a clue.
Sometimes his eyes, looking at me, are more expressive than the words he is trying to say. His facial expressions are more informative than his verbalization. While this is frustrating for us both, it reminds me that there is someone who is very present and aware on the other side of that window; I will keep trying the best I can to look through and open the window so I can meet James even more, and find out what he's thinking. Answer questions, if I can. Share as much as possible with him.
Right now, the kids are watching a cat in the backyard. James has started saying "mow, meow" when he sees it. He wants to pet the cat, like his sister does, but can't quite do it. He and the cat circle each other, both curious, yet cautious.
What is James thinking? What is he seeing? How does he experience this house and his family? Sometimes I think I know. Others, I haven't a clue.
Sometimes his eyes, looking at me, are more expressive than the words he is trying to say. His facial expressions are more informative than his verbalization. While this is frustrating for us both, it reminds me that there is someone who is very present and aware on the other side of that window; I will keep trying the best I can to look through and open the window so I can meet James even more, and find out what he's thinking. Answer questions, if I can. Share as much as possible with him.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
This is James: Bus
In the mornings, James adores the school bus. He practically rips open our front door and flies down the driveway, crying "buh! buh!" before he leaps into it. The driver always has a big smile for him and calls him her Little Angel. He giggles, wiggles, and glows with delight while he gets webbed into his seat. Then he'll look at me and shout "Bye!" with a grin.
I always wave to him outside the bus. And James always leans over and puts one finger up to the window. I can see him saying "bye" inside. He doesn't stop until I put my finger to his (on the other side of the glass) and say "Bye James, I love you!" Once I drew a heart too, and he thought that was the Coolest Thing Ever.
Then I wave to him as the bus pulls away from the curb. I wait for the turnaround and wave to him as he passes by, and I stand at the bottom of the driveway and wave some more until the bus turns the corner & out of sight. Mission completion!
Random Bus Thoughts:
I always wave to him outside the bus. And James always leans over and puts one finger up to the window. I can see him saying "bye" inside. He doesn't stop until I put my finger to his (on the other side of the glass) and say "Bye James, I love you!" Once I drew a heart too, and he thought that was the Coolest Thing Ever.
Then I wave to him as the bus pulls away from the curb. I wait for the turnaround and wave to him as he passes by, and I stand at the bottom of the driveway and wave some more until the bus turns the corner & out of sight. Mission completion!
Random Bus Thoughts:
- Sometimes I have trouble getting James to focus, or sit still for socks and shoes. Usually, all it takes is a reminder: "James, bus" and presto, he is on board!
- I wish I could get going as quickly as he -- angelically asleep to completely awake and demanding "muh-muh" (muffins) in 4.1 seconds.
- James almost always makes my day happy with his starry smile and big happy eyes
- The bus keeps me honest for getting James to school on time -- yay honesty!
- I am so glad he gets an adventure so early in the day, while I am still working on that first cuppa joe
Monday, May 12, 2008
Doubling our Fun
James is starting to say two words together! I am not counting one of his earliest spoken words for his favourite treat "apple bar." He can say "Hi, ____" and "Bye-bye _______" and I love it when it is "Hi, Mama."
We can get him to say many words after we say them and he is starting to say words on his own. He is very good at saying "NO!" and will respond "okay" if we are checking in that he understands what we've just said. (if he doesn't say "okay" then we know he either hasn't heard or he does not agree)
Last week, he said "Oh man!" just like Swiper on Dora. He starting to use this instead of "uh-oh!" My husband and I cracked up. It's nice to laugh that way. He is also getting better at hugging and kissing.
Sometimes, when he vocalizes with "Eeeeeeeeeee," we can get him to say a word or two. He is also memorizing his favourite books and vocalizes along with the reader, with occasional clear words in their proper places. I am so excited. He has been doing this with songs for a while.
I set up his t-ball stand for him today in our back yard. He enjoyed whacking the ball. But I really think the attraction was the bat! He also has not taken a nap today. I am not ready to give up the afternoon naps yet, so I am thinking positive that this is a fluke.
We can get him to say many words after we say them and he is starting to say words on his own. He is very good at saying "NO!" and will respond "okay" if we are checking in that he understands what we've just said. (if he doesn't say "okay" then we know he either hasn't heard or he does not agree)
Last week, he said "Oh man!" just like Swiper on Dora. He starting to use this instead of "uh-oh!" My husband and I cracked up. It's nice to laugh that way. He is also getting better at hugging and kissing.
Sometimes, when he vocalizes with "Eeeeeeeeeee," we can get him to say a word or two. He is also memorizing his favourite books and vocalizes along with the reader, with occasional clear words in their proper places. I am so excited. He has been doing this with songs for a while.
I set up his t-ball stand for him today in our back yard. He enjoyed whacking the ball. But I really think the attraction was the bat! He also has not taken a nap today. I am not ready to give up the afternoon naps yet, so I am thinking positive that this is a fluke.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Walking for Answers
This is a quick post to let you know I will be participationg in The Human Race, a walk to help find answers for autism. Please look at my team's page and consider making a donation.
More soon.
More soon.
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