Art of Redirection: I

James was on a tear late last Sunday afternoon. Could be many factors, including changes in weather, growth spurt, and keeping up the lively pace of First Grade. I suspect, however, that too much TV and play time on the computer at PBSkids.org had a lot to do with it. Yes, I know better and yes, I let it happen. Guilty.

Regardless, when his Dad and I put our feet down and told him no more computer or TV for today, James got very agitated and upset. He cried, used a different voice that got high and panicky, then deep and angry, like a dinosaur. He YELLED (and that boy has lungz) and almost threw things. His Dad, frustrated, wanting to help, but not sure what else to do, tried talking calmly with James, then yelling when he got more physical.

Things calmed for a moment or two, but then James started up again. I got him to come to me so I could give him a hug. I told him I understood that he was angry; that tv & computer time were over for the day. He told me to leave the room. I kept telling him to take a breath and not shout. I gave him hugs whenever he came over for them. He was crying so hard. At times like this I can only guess what it must be like for him.

After just a couple of minutes, at another calmish pause, I asked him to bring me a couple of dirty dishes that were near him. He did, and I thanked him and told him he was a big help to me. I asked if he wanted a yogurt squeeze-up (a favourite treat) and he said yes. I told him if he brought it to me that I'd open it for him. So we did that.

Then he asked in a normal voice if he could write his letters. Of course I said yes!

Redirection, I love you so. May your wisdom and effectiveness never fail.

James, I will try better next weekend to provide more structured activities.

Gravity

Heard from under the breakfast table this morning:
"Hep! I fall da floor, Mommy!"

Yes, James -- that's what happens when you let yourself go boneless. It's his favourite trick in two situations. Numero Uno to be silly; never underestimate the attraction of Being Silly.

Numero Two-o, when he doesn't want to do something. This guy takes passive resistance to a new level. It backfired on him the time his Nana told him it was time to get out of the River and start heading for home. *snort* I can find it funny because the water only came to his ankles and he howled with fury that he got *wet*! Laughing .. um, okay, at you on that one, buddy!

This morning it was silliness. Pure, enchanting silliness. We played peek-a-boo for a few minutes after that. Yay, tablecloths!

Things to See

Well, we braved the heat and swung by for about an hour of the Rose Parade yesterday. It got to be too much for James, so we ducked inside a bank, then a used book store, where the kids actually let me browse a good 10 minutes before getting restless.

My daughter picked out The Princess and the Pizza. James took a shine to Sweet Dreams, Maisy. I found Silver Chief, Dog of the North for my mom. And I ... got to smell old books.

I am a glutton for old books and their smelly, glorious pages.

Let me back up a bit and note some Lessons Learned about James and a parade:

1. The noise will get to him, after about 10 minutes; rest periods, even brief ones, help a lot


2. Reaffirmation that James does not take heat well


3. Confirmation that humidity makes him Cranky, with hitting not far behind


4. All the dogs in the crowd bring his anxiety levels up, although he no longer cries when they push up at him


5. He adores watching live music, and vehicles that have things going around on them


6. Bubbles Rule!

The new books were a hit at bedtime that night. I love it that James will now sit on my lap and read a book with me. Last year this time he'd eat, rip, and throw books only; he would not sit on my lap for a bedtime routine. Now, he expects multiple readings throughout the day and holds his arms up to me, so I will hold him while I sing him songs before he goes to sleep.

We had fog last night, so we are cool again this morning. I think I'll take the kids out to the Farmers' Market and then to a playground for lunch, so my husband can keep working on dismembering the disused hot tub that has become a wildlife refuge.