For James

SOOC Saturday: Roundup

2012-01-29T16:16:00.000-08:00

Well, another busy, crazy week. Both kids enjoyed grabbing my camera and taking a few pics. Here's our Weekly Roundup, Straight Out Of Camera:

More early mornings at Bad Ass Coffee. Photo by James.

Love this serendipitous self portrait!

After school, we hit the library, where Big Sister got to read to a dog. Very well too, I might add.
She also got him to do a trick for a doggie treat.

Speaking of Big Sister, she made me some dynamite lemonade with honey and garden lavender.
She got a little creative with the rinds. Meet Lemon Man!

I cracked up with I saw this - I am sure she made t
he obligatory screaming noises when she took this photo.

Mustard in the vineyards, shot during our visit to the Chocolate Hill Road.

Attended the North Bay's first Autism Speaks Walkathon kickoff meeting.
We'll be walking again this year!

Back to the tropical fish store, to get the tank water tested.
Proof the store employees have a sense of humour.
Now it this Nemo and Dory, or Marlin and Dory?

"Who you callin' Nemo? Do you see any lucky fins here?!"

Cute little puffer fish.

Sunset on the way home last night. Love the Round Barn.

Nice to be a part of the SOOC hoe-down at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

The Chocolate Hill Road

2012-01-26T21:37:00.000-08:00

I picked James up after school as usual. He'd had a good day, overall, but was unfocused and tried to sneak games instead of lessons at computer time during class. So no more computer time for the rest of the day.

Which is probably why he wanted us to go visit our public library before picking up his sister. One of the library's computers is loaded with I Spy and Dora edutainment games that he loves to play. We were just there on Tuesday.

"Are you sure you want to go there, Honey?" I asked, a little desperately. "How about something else?" He looked at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a roguish smile lit up his face. "I want to go to the Chocolate Road!" he announced.

Huh?

"The what, James?" "Chocolate Road, Mommy. Chocolate Hill Road!!" And then he pointed and I went "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Because he was pointing uphill to:

as in:

So this is new and fun. Usually he just asks to go up the hill. I had no idea he knew the actual name of the road. He's certainly never said it -- until today. We had a lot of fun, saying the name of the road all kinds of ways. We looked for trains, cows, and horses. We passed bicyclists and enjoyed the rolling drive through vineyards and pastures, beside creeks and over small rivers, enjoying a lazy afternoon of patches of light and colour on a cloudy day.

So Chalk Hill Road now has a secret name I hope I will always remember: The Chocolate Hill Road.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Fairies

2012-01-25T22:33:00.000-08:00

Remember earlier this week when I posted that James' Big Sister got them going on some fabulous pretending and play time together?

This is what it looked like in our house this weekend:

James had started talking about flying and wings at bedtime, when his sister told him they were going to meet up in Dreamland. When she woke up the next morning, she had the wings ready for action.

James had to try his out while jumping on the trampoline:

Then his sister broke out the crowns and wands. They then started chanting "Abrahhhh-kaDAbra!!!" and enchanting everything in sight. They ran races to exercise their wings.

I love this last one, because James looks like Puck to me:

For more images that catch the eye and heart, or to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

and ... Wordless Wednesday

Early Morning Coffee Stop

2012-01-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

Our early schedule is crazy, but it works. We're getting our system down and it gets us all where we need to be on time or even (gasp) early!

Schedule revolves around needing to get James' Dad to a commute bus stop 20 minutes away (closest bus that does not leave at 4 or 5 am) by about 7:15 and getting both kids to school (back up to where we started) before 8:30. After trial and error, here's what I've hammered out. Pack lunches the night before (for my husband, that's packing lunch and dinner the night before). Send daughter to bed in school clothes for the next day. Bedtime strictly enforced.

I get up a little earlier than usual, make coffee, breakfasts, preheat the van, and wake the troops. Load backpacks into van when I go out to warm it. Make sure they're warmly dressed. Kids take their brekkies out to the van. Watch sunrise start to happen behind mountains as we race down the highway (yay, carpool!) Drop Daddy at bus station and wave. Head back up as sun rises.

Hang out at coffee shop near daughter's school, feasting on coffee, ice water, and a croissants. Finish eating, brush out daughter's long hair and style for the day. Keep kids from getting on each others' nerves. Tried the iPad and my smart phone with James to divert him and keep him from messing with the furniture, but it throws him off his morning I think. So I've settled on to a book or toy instead. Seems to work better.

This morning's toy? My camera. Here's what it looks like for us in the coffee shop on an early morning:

Mom's pic.

James, in a cosy corner chair.

James likes the neon.

What a neat shot - he got the neon's reflection on the tabletop!

This is where he starts to annoy his sister. Gleefully, I might add.

Big sister's turn at the camera.

She frames her pictures nicely. Unfortunately, James has
touched the lens again, so we get a universal halo effect.

One of our favourite places to supplement breakfast and hang. Righteous!

Theme Music

2012-01-23T21:19:00.000-08:00

I forgot to note that James has added a new dimension to his scripting (also known as echolalia - scroll down the linked page to see a most excellent definition).

He now recites dialog for two people from movies and stories, because he is finally getting into play dates and socializing with his peers. He also likes to script movies when real life provides parrallels. Or just because.

This morning, for example, he had a phone conversation with his aide on an imaginary phone during our drive to his school. He did both parts of the conversation and I think this was part of his preparing himself for school. He scripts from Barney because I am sure he would dearly love to be part of that group in the mornings on weekends (shudder). He might also be looking for a buddy, because he is scripting large exchanges between Buzz and Woody from the Toy Story sagas.

Max decoration that's going in his room.

He went through a couple of days of being mad (highly unusual for James) and recited huge portions of Where the Wild Things Are to me. Most notably "I'll eat you up!" And you know, it actually opened a bit of a dialog for us, so I could let him know I understood he was angry ... could he tell me more about why? Usually it had to do with me telling him "no" or enforcing bedtime. I could be wrong in my assessment of why he was scripting from that book, but I don't think so. It fits James' personality of being sweet, funny, and stubborn. I found this scripting endearing, as well as preferable to a sulky tantrum or swearing and throwing things.

Most recent and delightful to me: James has been humming the theme music to The Incredibles. Just before he takes off at a run. When he wears his beloved bear blanket. And the one that almost brought me to my knees with laughter: in the bathroom. That's right, taking a bath, toweling off after, successfully completing a toileting run, washing his hands ... duh-duh-DUH-da-dahhhhhh!

James, you are Mr. Incredible!

Lull

2012-01-23T11:00:00.000-08:00

Wowee, the rain came down this weekend. Last night it poured as if to make up for 2 months of dryness at once. So after having the kids in the house for several days, it was good to pack them off to school and get them back on their routines.

Well okay. They did go out a couple of times
to go look for pet snails in the garden ...

Just in time for me to enjoy the Lull and sunshine.

Welcome, sun!

This was empty three mornings ago ...

This is part of how I survive the hecticness and constant juggling. Moments like these are calming.

Rainy Day Game Plan

2012-01-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

Strangely, none of our plans include football this rainy Sunday.

This morning was taken up by Pretending with Wings and learning all about snails, courtesy of Big Sister. She is so awesome in her own right, and James is very lucky to have her as his Big Sister. This morning's session was so awesome that it deserves it's own separate post.

Then late-morning movie on the sofa: The Little Mermaid, by request, followed by lunch out with Dad at Micky D's. Then a solid hour of lolling.

Next up: A couple of hours at the gym's childcare. Both kids enjoy the board games, other kids, hoops, and crafts that are available. We'll finish off our rainy day with a visit to the local topical fish store, to get some tank water tested and (hopefully) purchase and bring home an aquatic snail.

I love it when good plans come together! What are your rain day plans?

Sensory Update

2012-01-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

Hygiene Victory Over Sensory Distress!

I've given another bath and shampoo session to James, and again, no yelling, screaming, crying, thrashing, or tears. He even sat still and let me do a big trim number on his hair.

After, I brushed his hair several times (which is usually hard to get him to sit still and allow). I even got to swipe the extra ear wax out of his outer ear.

He is still in a good mood.

Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!

SOOC Saturday: Morning Glory

2012-01-21T08:46:00.000-08:00

definition - glory: resplendent beauty or magnificence

Morning after a huge rain storm (front, SOOC)

SOOC: wish the camera phone captured nuances better

Sunrise out back: glorious, even in SOOC

I look up overhead and watch layers of differently lit clouds waft by

sigh

And here are the same photos, boosted and/or cropped a little:

It feels good to be participating again in the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog. Come on over to see more or join in!

Magic Marker Monday: Red Journal

2012-01-20T20:04:00.000-08:00

Just before Winter Break, James brought home his writing log, which he calls his Red Journal. Considering he had trouble getting 4 letters on 1 page of paper last year, this is a Magic Journal for me!

Baseline, from September:

We have our puzzling days:

I see his teacher and aide's names there ...

ummmmmm ...

"At school, the lights were not on. I feel bored. I went to speech with Jack. We watch -- "
er, um, cheeus cager goose? This will keep me awake at night.

The ones that make my heart ache a bit :

Although I have to take the "worried" with a grain of salt, because:

Even though he writes he's mad, he enjoys the spelling practice at home and this is his usual result for spelling tests:

I also know that James reverses his pronouns (mostly on purpose, I believe) and mispronounces his own last name. He gets a big kick out of that, go figure.

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

(and yes, I know it's Friday -- it's been a week)

Weathering It

2012-01-20T18:13:00.000-08:00

It's always hard to post when my heart is hurting or I am overwhelmed. Put the two together and there's a lot of lag time between posts - sorry.

Like so many other families, the bad economy and rising prices are stressing out my husband and I. There are fewer resources to help us. I have never gone so long between jobs that are regular and (relatively) well-paying. Oh the irony. I now have more time during work hours, but no big chunks at once and almost no money. So things that used to give me pleasure and relaxation, such as going to a museum, out for coffee, or live music, are much harder to do. I don't know how much money I can spend except probably don't. We are close to a financial edge we don't want to go over.

It's hard for me because I am used to working harder, or more jobs. Can't do that now; mostly because of child care issues, but also I don't have the strength I once did. It's no longer just mine, it's been given out to my family, and I am running mighty low some days.

There have been a few extra curves thrown at me lately since early December that somehow I am having trouble absorbing and managing. I've had to cut loose from some issues and it almost feels like I'm seeing off someone I care about but am exhausted over as they sail off into the Pacific in a lifeboat with issues. It makes me feel numb.

Well, what can I do? Hope and pray they make it okay, because I really truly do. Be there for my kids, because they really need me. Leave doors open and bridges unburned. Believe that this will not last forever and things will change for the better.

Take in the small things that do keep happening and keep me glad I'm alive and living today. Things like good coffee in a cup, a peaceful 20 minutes in a quiet morning home, listening to birdsong, tasting rain, a smile when I needed it and didn't know it. Smiles and schnuggles from my kids, a clean sink (fleeting as it is), ten minutes of nothing time in the hugely relaxing purple armchair. An outstanding design, a beautiful painting, music that speaks to me, light falling just so across the kitchen counter. A really funny story, LOL cats, good books, and Dr Who.

Appreciate the big things, like relatively good health, a party that my husband and I got to attend recently, respite care with people I trust, good online friends, a chance to talk with my parents - especially my mother - and see them smile.

Having my sunny kid, the one on a spectrum that is infamous for difficulties in relating to people, coming up to me, patting my back and saying "It's going to be okay, Mommy. It's going to be okay." Then giving me that warm smile. And a kiss.

Spelling Silliness

2012-01-10T14:47:00.000-08:00

At Denny's, looking at the menu.

Me (reading menu, attempting to distract a bouncing James): "Look, honey! What does this spell?"
Pointing to a header that reads "SIDES"

James: "S .... STARBUCKS!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!"

Classic James camera phone shot at Denny's.

Thinking up more mischief.

Magic Marker Monday: The Write Stuff

2012-01-09T13:43:00.000-08:00

I try to get both children to write thank you notes. With their birthdays occurring so close to Christmas, it can be a challenge. I have found out that they do best if I get them to do about three at a sitting. They do not want to use pre-printed cards -- they want to make their own.

James, in particular, is excited to make them this year. He wanted to write his own thank yous. I dictated the letters an provided some guide lines, he did the reast. He even picked the colour of the paper for the cards and chose and placed the foam stickers on his own as well.

Materials:
* Handy Dandy Pad o' Construction Paper ($1 from the Dollar Store)
* Tub o' foam stickers (about $5 on sale from Michael's)
* Markers on sale from Target ($1 a box of 10)
* Misc. ball point pens

I found it was easier to have James write the message on the inside first before decorating the front. The foam stickers made an uneven surface for writing, and he kept making holes and got frustrated. Can I say how proud and happy I am that James can write his own Thank You cards?

His sister did a marvelous job as well. She detailed her presents in the front of the cards in design. I love how she put puzzles on the inside! Someone has been enjoying all those 3rd grade worksheets.

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

Zumba Time ... or Not

2012-01-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

School begins again next week. Both kids are getting antsy for a routine and some adventure. James' sister made up a picture scheduler for their day. It was sweet, because she conferred with her brother and he rose to the occasion.

Right now it's Zumba Time in her room. I can hear the music going, punctuated with "Yay!!!" and laughter. James is running around in my sweatshirt, his jammies, and rain boots.

I hope it lasts. James has not only discovered the power of "NO!," he has acquired quite a verbal litany to back up his dissensions. Luckily, he adores the times his sister wants to play with him, so we don't get much of that at when they play together.

And, I have found an excellent way to encourage the kids to go play:

Another reason to love my Jane Austen DVDs!

SOOC: Last Week of Break

2012-01-07T08:52:00.000-08:00

Wow, this break was late in coming, but a nice long rest once it came. After all the frenzied activities of the two weeks leading up to Christmas, it was so nice to have the time to recover and enjoy the little things. Here are some from our first week in the New Year, all straight-out-of-camera (SOOC):

Our outdoor cat, enjoying her indoor buddy.

Movie afternoon!

Spa morning, with two-toned glitter nails!

Treetop sunset out back.

Sunset from our front.

Starting 2012 right, with another week of participating in the SOOC action at
Marvelous Mommy's blog. Come on over to see more or join in!

Flipped-up Friday

2012-01-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

James' Dad is calling in sick and there went my plans for the day - flip!

I'm actually glad he's taking time to rest before he suffers a health setback. However, now I need to rethink the day. I've got to make sure a few things get done, think about the new best order for getting chores and errands accomplished. I also need to factor in the noise. My husband needs more quiet than is possible with the kids at home.

Now I consider my options. For getting the kids out of the house, we can use the gym, library, and the grocery store. If the weather is nice, I can run some errands near a park, where they can run around some more. Maybe I'll get their bikes in the van and let them ride for a bit.

Luckily (I guess), we've not been able to get play dates to gel over this holiday, so I don't have a third party to contact and rearrange. For myself, I'll make sure the camera is charged and try to take some photos that interest me. I'll bring along a book to read at the gym while I work out. I'll work with my daughter to plan a dinner that we can enjoy as a family. I'll tickle James and work on some flash cards with him. I'll get time to talk with my husband. I'll take deep breaths, as I flex again to go with the flow.

New Things on a Thursday

2012-01-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

We're still on vacation, so after dropping Daddy off at the bus stop this morning, we ran some errands before heading up to Nana and Apu's house for some furniture rearrangement. Whew! After that, we hung out at home. I proposed going out to a park and encountered meltdown. Belay that outing.

So we took it easy some more, calmed down, and had lunch. I actually got most of the decorations down and the dangerously dessicated tree out of the house. It's the earliest I've ever taken down Christmas and I realized that I didn't get out a third of my things in the first place because things were so stressful and sad. It was kind of a blank feeling, like "well, that was pretty much a wash-out this year." We all did all make it through -- that's the main thing.

We worked on our thank you cards from Christmas and then took advantage of the warm afternoon and went swimming. While James and his sister had a blast, I worked the kinks out of my knees and blissed out in the outdoor jacuzzi while keeping an eye on the kids. James was excited to see one of his teachers from school and talked to her whenever he got near her.

Then it was time for out of the pool. James started crying, he was so cold once he the chilly afternoon air hit him. Luckily I changed him in less than a minute. It took longer to calm him down though. And lately, when he gets upset, he cries and starts shouting things like "You SHUSH!" and "And I said NO!!!" and "You go away now, Mommy!"

I don't get mad at him, but I do let him know that last one is really rude and he needs to say sorry. Then I get him to talk about what's bothering him (like this afternoon -- "Sounds like you're pretty cold, is that right?") and show him there's a solution that will make things a bit better ("Let's get on our dry clothes and go home. We can visit the helicopters on our way. Won't that be fun?")

Unfortunately, our gym's only family bathroom and shower are outdoors, which is really inconvenient in winter. I strategized the bathing scenarios on the way home. Myself first, and then a bath for James while I dried my hair. Then wash James' hair (cringing as I think about this, but it's necessary) and dry him off while my daughter cut up potatoes for baked fries for dinner. Then clean up tree needles and get ready for dinner while daughter showers. Have James watch a video while I help her rinse, apply conditioner, and comb out/blow dry her long hair. All that took over an hour, but we all enjoyed our dinners with clean (dry) hair in our jammies. Thank the heavens that James has stopped screaming and crying if I turn on the hair dryer.

I cringe just thinking about washing James' hair. because it requires nerves of steel. He howls, screams, cries, and thrashes so. Plus his cries of "No, Mommy, NOOOOOOOOOO!" make me feel like I am scarring him for life. Usually it takes him a LONG time to calm down after ... or he passes out into an early bedtime.

This time, however, he was merely unhappy. No crying. I hardly breathed through the whole operation. Another new thing - he talked out the steps in advance; we agreed on how many scoops of water we'd use to wet and then rinse his hair, as well as how long we'd do the actual shampooing.

Part of me want to light a candle, or something, in hopes that the water torture of bathing is behind us. Both my children hated having their heads get wet like. They howled and cried and screamed like possessed monkeys. After struggling for years with my daughter, I was sapped for dealing with James when he started rebelling. My husband does not help bathe the children, so I put off kid bathing and hair washing for ridiculously long periods of time. This past month I've finally nerved myself to do more often, and I think it's now becoming part of The Routine.

Last new thing: James, sitting on the sofa, reading "Where the Wild Things Are" to himself. He can memorize books like this, but I watched him and he was prompting himself by reading the words. What a warm glow that was! He also likes this book now because he identifies with Max. I think he needs some Wild Things in his room ...

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: At The Bedroom Drive-In

2012-01-04T09:33:00.000-08:00

My husband and I like to be creative. James' Dad excels at getting creative with materials most people would throw out or donate, especially electronics. Last weekend, he hooked together a sound system and projector he found used, and plugged it into my laptop. He brought up Netflix, aimed the projector at our wall and and voila! Movie night on our bed for the whole family!

I call it the Bedroom Drive-In.
(Here's to you, Jo-Bob!)

The kids adored it. I enjoyed the entire experience, which was rather like watching a movie with a litter of restless, adorable puppies.

What did we watch?

Phineas and Ferb, The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2010).
Gotta love the Buckaroo Banzai reference!

I've got to tell you, this is the way to see movies with your kids. Especially young ones or kids with special needs. We can adjust the sound and lighting. James can roll around the bed, kick me gently to get his sensory feedback, and even get up and wander a bit without us getting stressed out. No annoying cell phone interruptions. Bathroom breaks are a breeze and snacks don't break the bank.

To see more images or to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

and ... Wordless Wednesday

A Thankful Pause

2012-01-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

I've put up my share of frustrated posts about people not understanding what a day in my life is like. How things that seem so simple to other parents are like mountain climbing with a hippo for me and mine. How there are some mainstream things we'll never be doing and concerns we have that many do not.

This one is a bit of the flip side, about being thankful for the people we've met who've become friends. Who know us and like us for being exactly how we are, not what we look like. I've been discovering a lot of them lately, when my husband's health crisis started to get really bad.

The kind and thoughtful people at both kids' schools, who helped with emails, calls, and information. Some of their thoughtful, unsolicited help literally brought tears to my eyes. Even while part of me was burning with shame to be in a position of needing help, most of me was so grateful that it was there, and kindly meant.

Ditto the nice people at our bank and credit union branches. Especially the big bank branch. I may hold your company in general and CEOs in low regard as opportunistic jerks, but you were my heroes who pulled out all the stops you could and made whatever possible work for me to help protect my family, and I won't forget it. You also remembered me weeks later, and asked especially how our holidays went. I could tell you were really, REALLY hoping they were good.

Our neighbours, who pitched in for a last-minute hour of sitting after bedtime, so I could handle an auxiliary emergency the week before Christmas. For being caring and friendly, making us glad (yet again) to belong to this community.

For friends, who were there for me and the kids, so I could be there for my husband. For texting and calling and helping me laugh. I am not going to forget how you helped. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

For my family, who has been having one of the most stressful and heart-breaking years we've ever known. For bailing me out, listening, venting, and trying to keep living as joyfully as possible. Our laughter may have a jagged edge or five, but there's love, and that lets me hold on tight and take a deep breath to see things through.

Magic Marker Monday: Fine Art

2012-01-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

James started to make his own pictures this year. Usually starting with spirals and jaggedy sunburst things. His sister made similar pictures when she was 3 or 4.

Recently, he drew a picture of his sister, from memory. His first portrait. I watched him make this, and he talked his way through the picture, from the head, eyes, smile and hair ... to the body .... to the two feet and legs. Wow! And he made her smiling. There goes my melty heart again.

He used some of the materials he received at Christmas (thank you, back-to-school sale stash!)

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

Another New Year's Beach

2012-01-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

Today we jumped in the car and visited our friends who were staying the weekend up in Stinson Beach. It was such a gorgeous day that we made a short trek from the rental house to the beach. The skies were clear, the air warm, and the wind was practically non-existent. Very unusual for January 1.

Both kids ran about on the beach, splashing in the low waves, digging and throwing sand, and bringing in rocky treasures (James' big sister) or worries about the dogs on the beach (James). We hauled them in just before sunset. Good thing too. I'd forgotten how quickly the sun goes down in winter, and the cold starts back in just before the light goes.

It's been about a year since this group had seen James. His new height and verbal social activities did not go unnoticed. It was good to get caught up and be social myself. I'm getting rusty at that.

James went from asking to play Angry Birds to demanding to go home to refusing to leave. After dinner, you see, Big Sister started a treasure hunt game, and James and the other young child were totally caught up in it.

The winding roads were a bit much for him in the dark, but I took it slowly, admiring the moon, sea, and stars from the corners of my eyes. He was asleep before we got home. I loaded him into bed, only pausing to remove his rain boots and tuck the blankets around him.

Happy New Year, Baby -- I love you, Mom.

NYE Countdown: 11PM

2011-12-31T23:43:00.000-08:00

More trips. We spent a day in the East Bay, to visit Fairyland and Alameda Beach before your P/T and O/T appointments at a regional facility. I think this is right before you took off ona growth spurt. You're still inches shorter than your sister (now you're almost even).

You ADORE Snow White. You want to buy her Pez dispenser and you love her as a cookie jar.

Pretty soon you'll have to double over to get in ...

Berry patch. Your sister has to lean over to hug you -- she can't do that now unless you're sitting!

Again, good self-regulating! Sorry about the noisy birds ...

You did, however, love the Pacific Ocean!

You started to lose your baby teeth:

Then there was the long van trip to Washington state, to visit Daddy's mom. Boy, that was a fun trip. She got to see how much you'd grown, in so many ways!

NYE Countdown: 10PM

2011-12-31T23:14:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh, the Wonder League! You loved it so. Daddy took you to most of the games and was so proud of you! He loved to tell me stories about how cute you were and how fast you could run (and not only around the bases)! He told me how happy and proud you were to be playing baseball on a team. We were so lucky to find out about it and take part:

Running with your Buddy to score at home plate.

Your pictures. You still love looking at them.

You figured out more how to block out noises that overwhelm you, like at a coffee shop or even on a submarine ride:

You loved to yell out "Hi, Darla!" and wave at her.

You still had a thing for hats, which was cute on our trip to Disneyland. You also did not get carsick on the long road trip to LA, San Luis Obispo, and back home. Proud of you, big guy!

You also started using your words to tell us more of things you like -- such as requesting the Buzz Lightyear etch-a-sketch as your souvenir from our Disneyland Resort trip. You kept on using it too, which again is a change from before.

NYE Countdown: 9PM

2011-12-31T22:48:00.000-08:00

Even at the end of Kindergarten in May, you still look so much younger to me than just recently in End of November/December.

You don't fit those shoes and that shirt is a little small on you now. I'll bet the pants are almost floods.

Still, we did enjoy the nifty sheeps' clothing at the Healdsburg Future Farmers' Fair.

More activities with your sister: Dining outdoors at the Hungry Puppy Cafe.

Drawing together with chalk on the sidewalk. You both loved doing that this year!

For the first time, you did writing: Dad, Mom, Anna, and ....

James

You're still my sweet boy, which is lucky ....

because I remember that when you're naughty.

The boy who cried at the Christmas show, five months later turned out to love doing
the Chicken Dance in front of everyone ... including me.

Big Development: James can sit criss-cross applesauce. This was the first time I ever saw him do it.
Also, he is letting the face paint stay on his cheek. Usually he swipes it right off.
End of year Kindergarten field trip at Haworth Park.

See this shot? This is Mommy enjoying the poolside while both kids swim in the pool, without fear or floaties.

NYE Countdown: 8PM

2011-12-31T22:21:00.000-08:00

So many things about this year that I've forgotten, like all the things you and your sister started to play together -- like puppet shows in the tent clubhouse:

I totally forgot taking this one. You were "reading" the books,
playing with the dollhouse, and making that car go places!

You got over generator noises enough to enjoy a classmate's part at Pump It Up.
You even went inside one of the jumpies -- huge for you!

Oh my yes - how could I forget how much you liked t-ball and baseball this year?

The swing! And you are having fun by sitting on it, not hanging on your stomach!

I was dreaming of this -- and the day came this year!

You still love your bubbles and balloons.

My big helper! You also try to help sweep up inside.

You like writing your name and some of the messages in the cards you like to make and send.

By Easter, you could handle me in the classroom. You loved your class.

Eggsactly! I can see why you loved them!

You love this sign at a neighbourhood market, and you still love their films.

You still have that mouth fixation thing too!

NYE Countdown: 7PM

2011-12-31T21:20:00.000-08:00

Dinner time is over! You are still eating the same thing for dinner: about 7 chicken nuggets (not too hot), pretzels or bread or tortilla chips, and apple slices (red apples only). After dinner, you are staying up longer. You used to go to bed by 7:30. Now it's between 8 and 8:30 (well, 8:30 on weekends).

You are still getting me up way too early in the mornings, but at we at least have our system. Before 6am -- lie quietly in bed, with Mommy hoping and praying you fall back to sleep. 6:00-7:ishAM - you can turn on the light in your room and play QUIETLY (with your door shut) until 7(ish).Breakfast for you is normally 2 toasted blueberry waffles, with nothing on them. You get milk with a bit of Miralax, to keep things moving on through.

Here are some new things about you this year:

You started to write .. and even tried a bit of drawing.

You liked writing your name. This is how you started. Now you can write it on a lone on your homework sheet.

You started to dress up and play. You have a fantastically zany sense of style!

You also got so much better at dressing yourself. You're even better than your big sister at this.

You started wanting to take pictures, and became much more thoughtful about the ones you took.

You started understanding that you can type letters and words in computers to make things happen.

NYE 2011: Countdown at 6PM

2011-12-31T20:58:00.000-08:00

2011, no offense, but you stunk at the end. Good riddance!

The beginning was not so bad. In fact, looking back at January pics, I can see how much the kids have grown. I remember the concerns I had then for them. How they powered on through and made their own success stories. That makes me happy to remember:

James went from not being very distracted in class, barely being able to write, and crying when I showed up to help at school to a confident first grader, who is able to sit in class for most of it, get A+ grades on spelling tests, and shows off for me at school singalongs.

In fact, this is what we read tonight, together:

I am almost reconciled to the fact that my baby boy is gone and my big, almost 7-year old is growing up and out almost every day.

SOOC Saturday: Fish!

2011-12-31T15:16:00.000-08:00

Our daughter got a betta fish this year. She's had it 3 weeks and is worrying because she sees green on her fish's home and the live plant in the bowl is looking shoddy. I am clueless with fish. So we went to Caesar's Tropical Fish emporium, to get the 411 on fish & their plants.

Oh my heavens. It was our first time in the store and the kids went wild. There were 3 rooms in the dark, with walls of tanks and fish lit up and full of exciting action. It was better than paying admission to the Aquarium, because (A) it was free and (B) it was just big enough to take the right amount of time to spice up the day, yet not be long enough to evoke the "I'm tired. Can we go hoooooome?" whines. You can bet your boots I'll be coming back here with the kids when I'm going stir crazy and we need a diverting event.

James adored looking at all the fish. He was fascinated by the whiskery catfish, but their long antennae also freaked him out slightly. The fish that looked like they were lit with neon brought out the biggest smiles to his face. I know he wants a fish. But he's not there yet for being able to take care of one.

Maybe next year, after I've learned from watching his sister and her fish. But shhhh! Don't tell him I said that!

Closing out 2011 by participating in the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

Merry Christmas. Every one.

2011-12-25T15:03:00.000-08:00

Christmas morning came early. Mornings usually do where James is concerned. I was able to safely corral him in his room until just after 7, when he emerged and announced "Hi, Mommy. I going to RElax with you!" Once on the sofa with me, he said "I going to kiss you!" And he did, right after he fell on me with loving glee. Oof!! At over 60 pounds, he's getting big.

Then his real purpose became clear; "I play Caillou on your white computer, okay? Okay" Kiss-kiss-kiss. Giggle, giggle, dancing over to my laptop.

Around 7:40, his Daddy and sister emerged, ready to start their Christmas morning. It dawned on James that Christmas was actually really and truly here. Oh the openings! The talking! The exclamations of "Oh! I love it!! Do you love it, Mommy?/Daddy?" The iPad sucked him in. Already he's managed to take off Angry Birds, a slew of apps, and mess up PhotoBooth. He also figured out the volume and screen controls before I could even think about them.

Then he played with his other toys. His Leapster spelling cards, the megaphone from Grandpa (who's going to get a voicemail of thanks, in the loud Robot voice), and his toy train washdown (carwash for trains). He was ecstatic that Percy came with it. He play acted a play date between Percy and Thomas in 3 different rooms, ending up with himself draped over his new shark bean bag chair. Oh my heart, what a happy Spirit of Christmas present. It's done me a lot of good.

This has been a year with lots of heartache in it. Things are going to be tough for a while yet. I look at our children, especially James this morning, and find some of the brightest spots of hope for the future.

SOOC Saturday: Christmas Eve!

2011-12-24T09:01:00.000-08:00

Well, the lead-up to Christmas this year has been challenging and not very fun for the adults. The kids, however, have been popping like corn with anticipatory glee. Which makes things more bearable and puts me in the right mood for Christmas Eve and tomorrow.

It's not even 9am here, and already, we have:

Ah yes, Joyeux Leon to all!

Let's be reindeer!

Last night we started baking cookies for Santa and our wonderful neighbours:

Taste tests proved ... delicious!

Wishing everyone a special Christmas. And if Christmas is not your holiday, may your special days be enjoyed with the ones you love.

Sharing some candid Christmas for my share of the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

Sick

2011-12-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

I have a head cold. Didn't feel so bad at first, but it's got my attention now. How will I get it together for Christmas and keep up as the driver for the family? Well, my fingers are crossed, so that's a start. Got some unexpected respite lined up for this afternoon. I think I'll get some Throat Coat, to go with the Mucinex and saline nasal spray. I want to use the big guns -- my prescription cough meds with codiene, but then I can't drive. Friday night can't come soon enough.

The kids are well, yay. But they need parents to take care of them. Oh well. At least grocery run is done for the week, we have gift wrap, and many presents have been purchased. If only I could find them. I hate being sick and worried over the holidays.

Looking forward to next week, when I can go back to enjoying the little things.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Snow!

2011-12-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

Although our temps have regularly been in the 20s, it's been clear. So disappointing for my daughter, who would LOVE to be out in a snow storm, or at least a couple of flurries. Snow is strange and wonderous for her.

Our schedules at home have had to shift majorly twice daily to get Daddy down to the commute bus in the morning, well before school, and pick him up after dinner. It's an hour's round-trip each time. And on top of it all, I am trying to catch up on groceries, birthday, and Christmas preparations that I never got the chance to do over the past 2 weeks. I made it to the gym exactly once, which is dire for me. Some days the kids have spent 3 or more hours in the van. I am trying to make things as fun as possible and keep the holiday magic going, at least for the kids and I.

How fortunate that our town has a grove of 150 decorated Christmas trees at the Town Green, and that twice nightly, it "snows" in a certain part of the grove. A couple of times I have taken the kids there after a dinner on the go, so they could have half an hour of fun outside before another round-trip down the freeway. The joy on their faces goes a long way to soothing my heart right now:

For more images from the heart, and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

... and Wordless Wednesday.

Urban Bankrupt Life

2011-12-20T22:27:00.000-08:00

My life is more than a little bankrupt, right now (from the Urban Dictionary). You see, I had more than a few surprises hit the fan about 10 days ago. Not my father this time. My husband. It started with a call from his MD as I was literally in the car, trying to pick up James. And no, he couldn't talk with me in depth and I could not call the school to say I'd be late picking up our son and then call the doctor back -- he was off duty, actually. He was just basically calling to tell me my husband's health was in danger of catastrophically failing and that I should meet him at the hospital. That's all. And a Happy Friday to you too, buster.

Before a week was out, I had panic discoveries of an unpleasant nature at the bank and with some utilities. I asked for financial assistance. I asked for support. I emailed heads-ups about extra crazy chez nous to the kids' teachers, who valiantly tried to support me as I tried to hold our world together with a couple of crochet hooks and one hell of a headache. With a lot of help from some very nice relatives, friends, and neighbours, I've so far been able to do it.

I feel like I'm caught in the middle of a deadly game of He Said, She Said, between my husband and his doctors. I'm actually seeing a lot of validation in the doctors' concerns, yet trying to not just believe anyone. Christmas is coming. The kids' birthdays are happening over the next three weeks. Please, just let us ALL make it through. Please, let's make some good changes and stick with them. So far they have. But how far will this go?

What do you do when your spouse, who is trying as hard as they can to be a good person and keep providing for the family, makes some bad choices that threaten their life and the family well-being? How do you keep a balance for your kids? How fast can your special needs child acclimate to new and bewildering routines? How the heck do you remain calm and not let the children know that one of their parents has been basically flirting with death?

Man, I don't know. I am making it up as I go along.

Magic Marker Monday: Christmas Book

2011-12-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

James brought home another book from school that he'd help make. Certainly he coloured it!

He needs to read it several times. He is doing a good job and only has two more readings to go before he can turn it back in to his teacher. I love this one because it follows the Brown Bear, Brown Bear book, which James adores and knows already.

For more holiday art and crafts, or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

SOOC Saturday: The Riled One

2011-12-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

Our family accomplished a lot on Saturday. There was a birthday party, Santa landing in a helicopter at the airport for a meet and greet, a trip to the huge Salvation Army Center and one final surprise later that evening.

For James, with immense reserves of pent-up energy and some frustration of being completely thrown off schedule for over a week, he loved the row of stationary bikes at the Salvation Army yard:

It was really hard to get him off these machines. Especially after he found they had dial timers. OMG, why did we buy him a bike last year? This is what he needed.

After dinner that night, we took a walk in our neighbourhood to look at all the decorations. I'd heard a rumour that Santa might be making a visit, so we set out for what has become known as Helicopter Santa's House:

Two Saturdays ago, during a full moon.

Sure enough, he was there! James was overjoyed. He gave Santa the biggest hug and when Santa asked him what he wanted, James said "A space station!"

Once again, it's not Saturday but it's still the weekend!
There's still time to check out the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

It's the Little Things ...

2011-12-04T14:49:00.001-08:00

On our way out the door to get in the van to pick out our Christmas tree we saw our neighbours, who have two children a few years younger than ours. We were instantly side-tracked stopping to say hello and visit. We've had moving vans and holiday decorations going on around us, and it was nice to catch up.

All four kids ran back and forth, all over our front years. It was so sweet to see our daughter so tall and grown up, taking their little girl's hand and talking so nicely to her. It made me smile to have their Dad ask James how he was doing, and for James to answer back and have a little conversation with him.

We all admired their son's new scooter, and how well he zipped along on the sidewalk. My husband and I got to talk with other adults. Other parents. It was so satisfying. So often it's the little things that make life happy.

All four of us helped clean up to make way for the tree. My husband and I worked hoisting it up and down from the van like pros. We all relaxed in the kitchen over lunch after installing the tree in the living room.

Yes! And thank you.

SOOC: Out Back

2011-12-04T08:45:00.001-08:00

Our cherry tree out back suddenly turned its leaves gold. As the lawn started to collect the windfalls, I seized my camera to record the last bit of Fall colour out back. I'm glad I did, because we've have huge winds sweep through and blast almost all the leaves off the trees this week. It was literally snowing leaves when I drop the kids off in the mornings.

I liked this last photo so much that I tweaked it a bit. Says a lot about a moment in time last week, for me:

SOOC

Minor colour balance and contrast tweaks.

Extreme contrast tweaking.

Okay, it's not Saturday but it's still the weekend!
There's still time to check out the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

Two New Things More

2011-11-28T18:54:00.001-08:00

First, James really wanted to hug and kiss me to say goodbye this morning at our back-to-school drop off. This was unexpected, new, and full of warm fuzzies (at least for me). He bounced right back into his routines and had a good day.

Second, I came home to get started on the kitchen clean up and noticed:

I put this together with finding the kitchen scissors lying out of place on the counter this weekend and ... the boy's been cutting his own hair. Gah! He screams like a banshee and bucks like a tornado when I try to do it.

Speaking of things that will make him scream like a tin whistle ... behold, the deadly:

These, meanwhile, will make him cry:

He still has to eat some. This is when I turn up the radio.

Magic Marker Monday: Edible Art

2011-11-28T13:33:00.001-08:00

James was invited to a former classmate's superhero birthday party. It turned out great! The party was at their house, with superhero games made and hosted by his family.

One of the activities was to frost and decorate cookies. This is a great party activity that I will need to remember. James held back at first, but then decided to try it.

It was nice for me to see him around the table with the others, joining in and having fun. And when it was over, he had a nice souvenier.

I asked how they handled the preparation and they said they helped make and roll out the cookie dough. They left in the fridge overnight and the next morning rolled it out and cut simple circles. They baked them before the party and had them ready to go with the toppings. One thing I saw that was new to me: squeezable frosting pouches with a spout -- awesome for kids to use!

Here's what they looked like -- James' is the smeary one in back, without Skittles:

For more scrumptious masterpieces or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

Autism Decorates!

2011-11-27T17:31:00.001-08:00

Our town started a new tradition last year -- the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Grove. It's a fundraiser to benefit the District's Schools and music programs. We were invited to come over and help decorate the tree for Autism Speaks (North Bay).

Wow! When we got to the Town Green, it seemed as if half the population was there. It was such an upbeat, energetic crowd of people happily decorating. I heard they have 150 trees this year. It's certainly become a big hit.

I was proud of James. He did a great job of talking with people and hanging ornaments. There was an unfortunate interlude where he ran off with someone's scissors and didn't want to come back, but he finally responded when faced with the count of "1-2 ....."

We enjoyed wandering around, checking out the other trees. Here are a couple of our favourites:

We enjoyed gelato at Powell's after, sitting on an outside bench with friends. I let the kids run across the Green to climb, slide, and jump at the playground on our way back to the car.

Simple pleasures. Such a good time.

Next April 14th. We will be walking again to raise awareness, research funds, and support each other. Hope to see you there!

SOOC Saturday: Fall Seasonal

2011-11-26T10:37:00.001-08:00

It's Fall. Temps have dropped and cold and wet have moved in again. Mornings are misty and chill and strangely beautiful:

The cherry tree is the last deciduous tree in the back yard to change colour and drop its leaves. I hope for a good sleep, and many cherries come late Spring/early summer! Days and afternoons are fickle with sunshine and warmth, but make for breathtaking sights.

As the shortened days slip into sunset, the world loses colour, except in the sky:

This one photo is enhanced from the one above, so you can see
the rainbow's end that seems to be coming from under the moon.
Took this one in the Safeway parking lot. Unbelievable!

Meanwhile, indoors is a good place to be. It's warm and cozy. There are surprises to be found. And James is busy with writing projects at the homework desk.

Falling into another week of SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog. If you want to check out our (mostly) SOOC Thanksgiving cooking pics, I've posted them here.
Come on over to see more or join in!

Gifts on a Spectrum

2011-11-25T11:49:00.001-08:00

It's Black Friday, and time to think hard(er) about gifts for the kids. Especially as big sister's birthday comes right before Christmas and James' is shortly after New Year's. Aaaaaand the property taxes are due right before then, so we really need to shop wisely because there's not much moolah to spare.

Add to that the fact that finding presents for James is a challenge. I've seen him rip and eat books, puzzles, and flash cards. He looks politely at cars and trucks, for the most part. If he can push buttons and have things light up and make loud noises, he's all over it for about 5 minutes at a time. Unless it's driving me crazy or waking the family, then make that 15 minutes, minimum.

He loves computers, clocks, and CD players. He also loves to rend them into pieces, if given half the chance. My little boy, the Destructor.

Some of the best toys for him have come from therapy sessions. We've gotten more mileage from an ice cream scooper and tongs with a bowl of cotton balls than the expensive LeapFrog read-along electronic gadget. It took 3 years before he became engaged with the super LeapFrog magnetic fridge Word Builder. I could go on .... and end up with the sad memory of James' Christmas just before he turned 3, when he looked at the presents, but did not get excited about them, let alone want to open them. I seriously cried that Christmas morning because he'd recently been diagnosed, and this was like a knife in the heart.

But things got better. James became more engaged, and this year he's reading, doing math, and started some imaginary play. I've scaled back my expectations and become more philosophical about what will make this child happy.

I'm still thinking of toys, however!

So I was very happy to see this Special Needs Toy Guide by Emily Vanek, mentioned in Five Minutes for Special Needs. We've already had good success with a number of items listed in her guide. There were some misses too, but that's because kids are different and special needs means, well, the antithesis of "one size fits all."

Oh yeah - he loved these things for years!

Here's what James has liked: Connect 4 and the piggy bank (although we just used a regular one that we had lying around the house). Sensory balls and ordinary balloons have been huge hits. My husband found one of those Fischer Price play kitchens at the Salvation Army and brought it home for our daughter.; both kids ended up loving it. James also loved the Singing Popup character toys.

He did not care for the large building blocks (or wooden blocks or regular Legos). He likes Play Dough but starts to crumble it all over into tiny bits. It's just not work the clean-up for me.

I think I'll take a more focused look at what James has liked. That will not only help me zero in on what might be good to get him, it could also help others.

What kinds of toys have been great for your special needs kiddos?

Thanksgiving Baking: A Timeline

2011-11-24T10:05:00.001-08:00

5:00-9:30 Fuel injection (aka making and enjoying a pot of Peet's Holiday Blend). Trying to keep a damper on my darling (loud) boy.

9:30-10:00 Assemble and bake 2 pie crusts. TV is off. Big sister is entertaining herself. James is stimming loudly and playing with his alphabet puzzle. Also butting in to ask for milk while I am up to my wrists in floury dough. Go away. I love you. Later!

10:00-10:15 Chop and prep ingredients for an egg white veggie quiche. Because the custard tart only uses egg yolks. There is no way I am either going to keep 12 egg whites in my fridge or toss them! Keep after James to turn it down as he stims "AAAAAAHHHH" and "EEEEEE." These disciplinary admonitions are met with dinosaur mutterings and scripting from Squidward.

I am keeping the red eye. This little stinker woke me up at 5am!

10:16 Send husband out for eggs. Could have sworn recipe called for 10 eggs. Nope, it's 12. How many do we have? 11. #chefFAIL

10:35 Husband returns ... with mint chip ice cream too. I love him!

10:30-11:00 Cheer Girl Child on as she squeezes tangerines for custard tart. Body count: 13. Glad I bought the whole bag. We've counted 23 seeds in one half - yikes! So glad she thought to strain as she squeezed.

Meanwhile: James helps stir the egg whiles and cream for the quiche, then runs off to the trampoline to yodel and jump some more. Bizet's Carmen is playing on the classical music station -- Yay!! Explaining themes and motifs to my 8 y-o daughter. Husband pulls James into back bedroom. I love him even more!

11:00-11:30 Quiche is in the oven and baking. Totally guessing at quantities, heat, and bake duration. Meh. Finish citrus squeezing and assembling materials for cooking the tangerine custard. Break out to fix lunch for family.

11:30 Start cooking custard and watching daughter do a fashion show for what to wear to dinner tonight. Exciting!

11:36 Quiche is done. guess what I am having for lunch? Mwa-ha-ha!

11:45 Custard is really starting to cook.

With my fabulous All Clad pot set, I scoff at a double boiler!

11:50 Added final ingredients to custard.

12:45 Poured custard into pie crust. Clean up time! Garfield and Scarlotti are duking it out in the family room, sound-wise. Assemble materials for Corn Souffle.

1:00 Custard pie in fridge. What is a scallion? Is it more like a green onion or a shallot?

1:01 Google sez: green onion!

1:01-1:14 Assemble ingredients for corn souffle. Love my hand slicer/mincer. Just like Grandma Lee's!

1:15 Corn souffle in oven for an hour. Time to rest my feet. Hoping I got the temps right because .. look what happened to our controls a couple weeks back during a cleaning?

Wishing you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Too Early

2011-11-24T08:32:00.001-08:00

James woke me up at 5-frickin'-ack-emma. And I really needed to sleep in, because I've been touched by a tummy bug. And I have to cook some dishes for Thanksgiving.

He is so lucky he is cute.

Slowly drinking coffee and coming up to speed. Luckily my good friend was up for some early morning texting. She's recovering in the hospital.

Family and friends, for you I give thanks (we can skip those 5am wake-ups & sick bugs).

Magic Marker Monday: Warming a Room

2011-11-23T09:11:00.001-08:00

My Dad suffered a setback and went back to the hospital. He's now in another rehab facility to get his strength back to the point where he can stand back up again and help transfer himself from his bed, wheelchair, etc. He's working back to using a walker.

Not only is it very discouraging for him, it's also hard on all our spirits. He's going to be there over Thanksgiving, which is a family holiday that my folks love to host.

The staff try hard and the facility is just about as good as it can be for our price range/health care options. Still, it is so not home.

James, his sister, and cousins have been doing their best to warm up the place. Luckily, the staff are more than willing to share their paper and markers!

For more meaningful artwork, or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.
(yes, I know it's out of order this week -- so is our life!)

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Speechless

2011-11-23T08:39:00.001-08:00

I was looking through photos from this past week and came across some I took of James when he was sick. He looks so big - I can hardly believe he's still six.

He's been so chatty recently that I forgot (until I came across these pics) that he stopped talking almost completely for the 3 days he was miserable.

A huge reason to be thankful. I love hearing him script, ask, and pretend. He's found his voice, in more ways than one.

For more expressive images and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

and ... Wordless Wednesday

Tackle It Tuesday: Juggling

2011-11-22T07:38:00.001-08:00

I've been not posting these last few days because, well, more stuff fell onto my plate. My Dad's been in a hospital and is now a nursing facility. He'll be there through Thanksgiving, one of the holidays that my folks love to host. This is tough on us all, even though it's temporary. The kids are both off school for the entire week. James is at lose ends, and usually found draped over me. Unless I want him in a certain place, at which time he runs laughing in the other direction. Of course.

With my immediate family, I am juggling schedules for kids, play dates, holidays, extra errand running, and visiting hours. Hey, I even helped troubleshoot fixing an iPhone over my Droid phone (I see some of you shuddering). Yikes. We are doing pretty well, but some things just don't get done as promptly as they used to.

The kitchen calendar and my spiral weekly/monthly planner for the year are getting workouts. I am using up the texting portion of my phone plan. We are using child care at the gym.

This morning we are getting the final ingredients for making some Thanksgiving side dishes to share. Then we are visiting my Dad. The kids really seem to cheer him up. James does well, except for when he loudly announces he wants to go home or bowling. If one of the patients is in pain and crying, that will set him off too.

Ah well. Learning, growing, managing. How are your holiday preparations coming along?

Tackling loves company!

Check out some other challenges this week
and pick up or share some tips at
5 Minute for Moms' Thankful week
in a series of Tackle It Tuesdays.

Calm Interlude

2011-11-17T22:33:00.001-08:00

James overslept this morning. I actually had to wake him up for school. It's so unusual for him to sleep in and not be sick -- it's maybe the 4th time that I can recall having to do this.

He actually talked with me, asking where his Daddy was and if he could say goodbye to him (before he left for work). When I told him his Daddy had already left, he asked if his sister had said goodbye to Daddy, and seemed relieved when I said yes. Then he climbed into my lap nad snuggled with me.

I was struck again with the semi novelty of having James be my buddy, the way his big sister was. It's not that we didn't love each other. There was just no reaching out on is part and establishing a close relationship like this before. James is actively participating, and I just love it.

For a change, James was calm through a shortened breakfast and school prep morning. His sister's testiness did not phase him, as it has on other mornings. He read his books instead. On the sofa, in the car, and after school while we ran errands and then came home.

His aide and teacher both said he had a great day, concentrating well and doing lots of classwork. He even reminded the students to sing Happy Birthday for their classmate. While I was talking with his aide after school, he went up to kids he knew and tried to socialize with them, instead of trying to wander off or fall on the ground, wailing "I want to go HOME!"

He ate a good dinner and cheerfully submitted to doing about half an hour of homework (after the token "NO!!!" and trying to run away to the nearest, plushest piece of upholstered furniture). He took his evening meds and asked me to read to him - another new and unusual thing for him to do. He even produced the books and listened with the biggest smile.

His Daddy came home just as we finished up, so they got to spend some time with each other. He fell asleep soon after. As I tucked the blankets around him and got ready to close his door, I picked his 2 books off the bed and put them on the table.

These guys have been with him all day!

After the upset of last week and weekend, it's so nice to see James calm and happy again. Doing to well. Being my Buddy.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Clean Freak Out

2011-11-16T14:16:00.001-08:00

I hate cleaning surprises, don't you?

The (family-friendly) word I am searching for is "Eeeek!"

For more exciting images, or to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

and ... Wordless Wednesday

Magic Marker Monday: Making Mail

2011-11-14T18:31:00.001-08:00

For some reason, James really wanted to go to the post office today. So I told him we could if we had something to post. So we made cards to send to the grandparents.

James picked the theme: Space Station (ship):

I helped him only a little with writing the messages:

And he picked the stamps from Up for the envelopes.

I love this whole Pixar stamp series, by the way.
And I hope to pass my love of writing letters on to my kids.

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

A Transcendental Day (& Night)

2011-11-13T19:08:00.001-08:00

After 2 full days (and 3 nights) of James being sick and crying, I decided it probably wasn't the flu that was making him so sick. I called for a weekend appointment. Unfortunately, the earliest one was nearly 4 hours away.

Deciding to make the best of a rather crappy morning, I bundled up James and put him in the van, telling my husband that I'd take him for a drive until the appointment, so at least he and our daughter could get some rest. My head ached from lack of sleep, stress, and the prospect of several long, bleak hours to kill on the road with a sick, wailing child strapped in behind me.

And you know, instead I had a morning that I will remember for years to come. Absolutely amazing and gorgeous. The mist was slowly rising up off the vineyards, whose leaves ranged from light green to gold to flaming oranges and reds as they rolled over hills and filled the flatlands. The redwoods and evergreens were towering and dark green on either side of the road. The rising sun would cut in through the fog and light up dead moss and yellowing vines and leaves in the foreground. Despite worrying about James and being slowly driven mad by his toneless stimming, I enjoyed the heck out of all that beauty.

We stopped for a few minutes by the River, and I was able to take some photos. I held James for a bit in my arms, and we watched a commune of ducks as they flocked to food underneath a tree, quietly quacking to one another as they mingled and munched. We drove across the River on a beautiful little bridge and down a side street that was slowly being taken back by the redwoods. And darned if we didn't see ... a splatty witch, one of James' most favourite Halloween things ever.

Duck brunch.

On a bridge to Nowhere ...

Watch out for that tree!

We meandered down to Jenner and up the coast for a bit, then turned around and headed back inland to the med center. We arrived very early, and I used our steadfast double stroller to transport James. To keep him from driving the other patients in the waiting room mad, I strolled him gently up and down the corridors until our appointment came. Once installed on the exam room table, James' turned to exhaustion and he nearly fell asleep before the doctor arrived.

The on-call doctor was very kind and seemed to size up the autism and health situations with James very quickly, even though I am pretty sure he'd never seen him before. I was rather surprised to hear that James did not have the flu or tummy bug, rather the yammying was due to excess of phlegm, bronchitis, and the beginnings of infections in both ears. The doctor was very kind to me as well, saying that unfortunately, James had to kind of get to this point before he could be helped by antibiotics so I did well to bring him in today, rather than earlier or later.

So we got his antibiotics, pain reliever (suppositories, just in case), and albuterol inhaler and headed back to the van. As soon as James was loaded into his car seat, I gave him the antibiotics. Over the course of the afternoon at home, I was able to also administer the albuterol and some food (the doctor said he could even have dairy products). He rested on the sofa and I noticed he'd stopped moaning and doing the verbal stims. He told me that his throat had stopped hurting. He took a nice nap and took more food. Within half and hour of the food, he was sitting up and talking again. As I type this entry, he is singing along (in his own words)to a Baby Einstein video.

From my big purple armchair I salute Alexander Fleming, Edward Abraham, Clodomiro Picado Twight, and others who brought us antibiotics. The difference between James of this evening and this morning is literally like that of night and day. Between James feeling so much better and the unexpectedly transcendent morning, my day has undergone a transformation for the better as well.

SOOC Saturday: Fall

2011-11-12T14:32:00.001-08:00

James is down with a flu or a nasty stomach bug. In between trying to get him more comfortable, I've been distracting myself with photos I've snapped while on the go these past couple of weeks. Fall sure is pretty here in Sonoma County!

Vineyards:

This is a vine at someone's house ...
that is surrounded by vineyards.

Farms:

Pomegranates

Two butterflies on a honeysuckle vine.

Glowing geraniums.

Caught a hummingbird!

The vaquero and his horse transformed into the Legend of Sleepy Hollow:

Made for a few smiles on our drives to/from Big Sister's school.

Trees as I walked to the parent-teacher conference for James:

Amy at Marvelous Mommy's blog had a great reason to celebrate 11/11/11. I'm linking to the SOOC action over there. Come take a look and share some of yours.

Bring It On

2011-11-11T09:25:00.001-08:00

Some days are just like this:

Channeling my inner Kuzco. No touchee!!
(well okay -- click to see the film clip)

Behind on contract work. Still waiting for invoice payments. Van tires need replacement and alignment, but can't take care of it until payment received on invoices. Saw my husband for maybe 2 minutes in the last 24 hours. Daughter longing for one-on-one time together.

Up all night with a little boy who was very sick with the flu. Tried to keep blood pressure under control as I listened all night long to his moans. Five loads of laundry between 1 and 7 am. Can't see my folks all weekend now because my Dad has a newly discovered heart condition and colds and flu germs are very serious things for him. Hoping like heck I don't get it. Strapping in for the rest of the day.

Bring it on.

Teacher Conference: Progress Report

2011-11-10T11:13:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I spent an hour and a half with James' teacher, talking about his work, personality, and ideas for improvement. I feel so lucky, to be working with a teacher who listens to me, even encourages me, as I talk and talk about James. She talked about him almost as much as I did. There are 23 other kiddos in that class. Yikes! Yes, I am appreciative.

But wait -- there's more, and it's awesome.

To quote from the report card: "He has made so much progress since last year ... James has a terrific memory and works well in his Reading Group. He is not far from the grade level standard this trimester."

I wanted to jump up, punch the air, and dance around the portable room like a loon. YESSSSS!!!! I've worried for so many years; remember so well that long time when I didn't know what James' voice would sound like, or if he'd ever talk. Had a meltdown at being told be he tested as mentally retarded and that I should prepare myself earlier rather than later to face this situation. Being scared that my sunny little guy would get lost in the big wide world of checkboxes and categories that are set to Normal and Not Normal.

He's reading. He's writing. He's interacting with his class. He does his homework and he gamely gives math a shot at night with me. And he's almost there.

So sweet. So relieved for him.

So thankful.

It's going to always be up and down. Math will remain an interesting challenge for quite a while (maybe always). We are going to try a drawing/writing journal and addition/subtraction flash cards. I am so happy, because even though we are getting lots of help, James is the one making this happen. And his future is getting brighter.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: James

2011-11-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

I love you, buddy. Truly. Always.

A tug on the arm, a hand on my shoulder, a pat on my back ... I turn around and then see this. Every day.

For more images from the heart and to share some of yours,
visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

and ... Wordless Wednesday

The Good, Bad, & Sleep-Deprived

2011-11-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

Good:

James had a pretty good day at school, despite the time change, a strange aide, and fighting off a cold that one of his classmates brought in to share last week.
James sat down and did a great job writing his new spelling words 3 times each. Wow, his letter e's are really looking good, and they were so tough for him last year. Still struggling with trying to lengthen the vertical lines for b, p, and h; strangely, d is just fine.

Completed 1 math sheep and 1 makeup sheet. Did a very nice job with reading.
Discovered Scholastic BookFLIX. Run, do not walk, to your computer to see if you are lucky enough to have a public library that grants you access to these wonderful, multimedia books.

Bad:

James fussed and hung on me, trying his best to wheedle me into letting him watch TV. It's so hard to deal with this while I am making dinner or trying to finish cleaning/organizing.
I had to keep running to catch him for bedtime. We had wiping issues. He cried for his Daddy, who was still fighting traffic, trying to get home.
I started awake at 1:15, to find James standing over me, whispering "How you doin', Mommy? Can I turn on my light?" (Answer: "NO!")

From then until 3:20, repeat about every 30 minutes. He didn't like the light shadows from his night light. He wanted a drink of water. The light on. His numbers. I finally broke out the Benedryl. Can't tell if the time change messed him up, the cold & cough woke him up, or maybe it was the fact that the heater kept kicking on ... maybe all 3?

While he did sleep after that, he woke up late, after his Daddy left for work, which made him sad. Then he did not want to change out of his clothes, so I had to use the Mean Voice and corner him for a change, which I hate.
Another early dismissal day. So naps for me are o-u-t.

The Sleep-Deprived:

That would be moi. I am making leek and potato soup and trying to wake up over incredibly strong cups of Peet's Espresso Forte coffee (on sale at Raley's!).

Magic Marker Monday: Signs

2011-11-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

To defend ourselves from the horror that is Unstructured Time and whiny, messy melt-downs (child and parental alike), our household has turned to schedules and has visual cues. We are by no means uber-organized, but our charts, calendars, and picture schedulers sure do help our lives.

I've also enjoyed hanging up the kids art projects and schedulers on the walls of the kitchen and family room. They've started to merge and become a new form of visual self-expression. Our family is turning structure and signs into a kind of performance art:

This appeared in James' door one day. Way high up,
where only a parent can read it (or a sister can reach).

Honey, I will treasure this one forever.
And knook respectfully as I smile on the inside.

That pop out at one in unexpected places:

Found on corner of the main hallway.

Discovered one morning on the outside our bedroom door.

We will never be bored - yes!

To find more expressive pieces, or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

My Autism Team Needs You!

2011-11-06T16:02:00.000-08:00

In my previous post, I talked about my experiences with MyAutismTeam.com.

In this one, I am going to post the message that I received a few weeks ago, which is now mirrored on their FaceBook page:

"MyAutismTeam is in search of parents in San Francisco with kids who've been diagnosed with ASD to come to their offices to give in-person feedback about the website. The parents do not need to have any experience with our site at all.

"We are offering free parking, a $50 Amazon gift card and small special gift of thanks.

"Please share with other parents. If anyone is interested, have them write mary@myautismteam.com for details.

"We are scheduling several 1-hour feedback sessions all day Wednesday Nov. 9th and Thursday Nov. 10th between 10AM and 4PM at our offices in San Francisco (at 3rd & Howard nearby SFMOMA)."

Last Thursday I made the trip in to SF and participated in their user test/feedback session. It was fun. You do not have to be a techie to do this. What you do need is to be a user or potential user of their website. They are trying to make this the best tool possible for those of us who care for children on the autism spectrum.

It was great to meet the team again, and I have to say, the gift card did get me excited. Online shopping, just in time for the holidays!

Well, okay. Helping to build a needed online community -- that rocks too!

Laura Shumaker has written about this as well on her blog. Please spread the word and help the team build our community!

MyAutismTeam.com - I Wish I'd Known ...

2011-11-06T15:43:00.000-08:00

"I wish I'd known ...." is a common lament from those with hindsight and experience ... that comes after the fact. With parents of children on the spectrum, it's a constant. We're all searching for more information, better understanding of our child, and answers that will help us.

It's not just for a diagnosis, root cause of our child's autism, and what to do/not do for our children, it's also where to take them for dental checkups, summer activities, and ideas for how to fill the deadly (for us) Unstructured Time.

After four years of coming to grips with our son's autism, I began emerging from a fog to realize several things that had crept up on me ... including that I was isolated and feeling a keen desire to connect with others. To share what works/does not work.

From my association with the CATS Program, I first heard about My Autism Team this past winter. They are committed group with experience in online communities and referrals that wanted to build an online community of parents of children on the Autism spectrum, so that they could share resources and rate programs and services for their families, in hopes that their hard-earned knowledge could benefit others, and vice-versa.

When their beta site launched, I plunged in and began building a profile, adding team members for all that had been helpful with a son who was largely non-verbal, developmentally delayed, social, and sensitive with certain noises. People who dealt well with yelling and crying during an office visit and who were willing to act as socializers for an atypical child. I've been reading others' profiles, searching to see if any providers will work for us.

Then there are the posts from other parents. Ones that make me smile, cry, and hurt my heart (both good and bad). The messages from other parents across the U.S., encouraging one another to hang in there, that we are not alone in our despair, frustration, and determination to help our kids and savour the good in life.

Questions, encouragements, advice. It's all there.

There is room for so much more and so many more families.

If you haven't visited already, please check out MyAutismTeam.com, or send an email to a parent you know who might be able to use it. They are also on FaceBook.

If you live in the SF Bay Area, MyAutismTeam.com is looking for parents to come to their office and give feedback on their site.

SOOC Saturday: Colourful Market

2011-11-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was a gorgeous day. Even though the harvest was mostly in, the market still shone with brilliant colours under a very blue sky. Luckily, James was dressed to match. He tends to wander in crowds, and I need to be able to track him.

Love those day-glo track pants!

My bread boy.

Love the crates of peppers!

The SOOC colours were a bit faded, so I tweaked the shot to make them come back here.

Mmmm, now I want to roast some fresh peppers and make some soup!

Another Saturday, another selection of shots for SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

This is What It Looks Like

2011-11-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

I and other parents talk quite a bit about how how things that are straightforward for other parents often aren't for us, and about how that makes us feel isolated and saps our energy.

This is what it looks like -- waiting 15 minutes as the entire school parades around a 1/4-mile circle to see your child in the Halloween Costume Parade:

... only to realize your child is not there. Other full-inclusion kids are, but yours isn't.

I tried not to feel hurt and reminded myself it was time for his speech session, which is very important for him. Still, it was a sinking feeling.

This is your son when you try to help out in class. He's way in the back of circle time, freaking out and crying, because Mommy only comes for drop-offs and pickups and now she's Right Here in the classroom. What The HECK Is Going On?

I expected this and remained calm. It's hard, sometimes. Especially as I've helped out in classrooms for my daughter and never got this reaction.

Lest this turn into a pity party for one, this is what it looks like, when your child on the spectrum adjusts to having a parent pop up unexpectedly and join the school day.

... because his teacher and aide also remain calm and welcome all parents to help out in the classroom. Here is James, doing the craft project that I was running during their Halloween party. He made a treat bag by writing his name one it and then stamping Halloween designs on the front and back.

And this is what full inclusion can look like:

Two guys sharing free time together. Having fun.

These are the times that keep me going.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Free Choice

2011-11-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

Monday was Halloween, and both kids had class parties and parades at their respective schools. I ran a craft project in James' classroom and took some pics.

What really amused me were his free time pick ...

... in between not one but two Super Marios!

(James was Willie Wonka, BTW, in a completely home-made costume that he loved to wear).

For more great images or to join in the fun, visit
Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.
and ... Wordless Wednesday

Magic Marker Monday: Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T07:25:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite things to do - drawing pictures together. Have a happy and safe Halloween!

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

Subconcious Memo

2011-10-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

I had a weird dream last night. We suddenly had 3 children; same 2 plus another boy. He was younger than James, wild black hair, and always laughing and tearing about. You know how kooky dreams can be. I spent what felt like hours, wondering how we could be so stupid as to think we could handle another child, how I could keep forgetting about him, and where he was going to sleep and sit at the dinner table.

Just for fun, in the dream my husband phoned me to say that the music teacher (from our daughter's piano lessons, which she has refused to continue) got all excited because he whipped through 65 pages in the music book in one sitting and is a bona fide child prodigy!

I woke up very confused and then sighed with relief when I realized it was only real in the dream. Then I thought about it. Why did I have this dream?

Not long after, James woke up. As usual, he began his day with thumping the bed as he got out, announcing loudly "I want to use the bathroom!" After his pilgrimage, I had him play quietly in his room for longer than most mornings. It is Sunday, after all.

As I was slowly getting coffee ready and making breakfast, I heard James asking me for help. It was to open the package for a Mach 5 car he'd received almost a year ago. He thanked me, finished removing the car from the plastic, and began to play with it. Not so unusual for a 6 year-old, but it's a new step for James, who loves looking at things, but rarely plays with them.

This made me remember that his teachers and family have all noticed that James is starting conversations, and that talking with him involves less questions and more exchanges. That James is starting to draw pictures, rather than shapes, words, and random lines. Trying to engage others in play. Able to follow directions and make comments while he was staying on-task.

So now I am thinking that the real boy who's always been inside James is now coming out to play. And that it's so new that I dreamed about him as another child.

James, 2008

James, 2011

SOOC: Almost Halloween!

2011-10-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

We've been decorating and anticipating. This morning, while taking some pics of our handiwork, I accidentally discovered the Magic Lens feature on my digital camera. Woo-hoo! What spooky fun!

I like the way the morning light glows inside the pumpkins.

Accidental Magic lens!

Our Halloween Tree, insipred by Ray Bradbury and Frontierland in Disneyland.

The Gruesomes, regular lens.

Close-up, darker exposure.

Magic Lens!

Different Magic Lens feature ... I can almost hear him laughing.
(yes, those are Christmas snowflakes overhead from last year - shhhh!)

And because we're in California: Halloween roses!

With the Macro on.

How are your Halloween preparations coming along?

Here's to another week of participating in the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog.
Come on over to see more or join in!

Son of IEP (or: IEP, Part III)

2011-10-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

We're still working on James' IEP!

My latest round included an hour of careful review of the 23-page draft plus 3 pages of meeting notes and making comments in the margins. I thought it would take a mere 20 minutes. After all, we'd already put 3 hours into meetings to discuss all this, right?

Silly Mommy. Cue the FAIL buzzer sound.

Somehow, seeing discussed items in print raises even more questions for me, hence margin notes and the need to check in again with the Services Coordinator.

In particular, I had questions about the goals stated in two different places about the time (percentage-wise) James would be on-task, in class. They seemed to contradict each other, and I did not want James to be pulled out of class if an in-classroom solution could be found.

I also wanted to know James' schedule of services. He's currently pulled out for speech (twice weekly), O/T (weekly, up from a set number of hours a month), and adaptive P.E. (weekly). It's good for me to have this schedule at home so I can do my part to ensure he's at school at those times to get his services. Because outside appointments will happen.

Shared info from Behavourist meeting almost 2 weeks ago, including her caveat that she is contracted to support the family, but the school is welcome to call her to ask questions and discuss issues (thanks to the lovely confidentiality forms we all signed last school year).

Requested the addition of a pronoun goal for speech. James keeps using them in exact opposites (he/him/his for a girl and she/her/hers for a boy) and referring to others when he's really trying to tell us how he's feeling.

And yes, THIS year I checked to make sure James was signed up for the extended school year, so he would be eligible for summer school (if it's not going to be like it was last year). Pause for Kuzco victory dance.

There were some other items, but I can't clearly recall them now. What I did do was take most of a week to review the IEP draft and then raced over to the school at 4pm on a Friday so I could hand it in to the Coordinator and ask her a few questions. She was very patient and even cleared up the on-task/time in class confusion on my part, as well as addressed my notes on almost every page. Phew! She handed me her pen and I signed off.

She also made it a point to tell me that she spent a few hours with James in the classroom this morning and that she both enjoyed herself and was excited about how much progress he has made. That made me feel so good. I appreciate so much that she has been going the extra 10 miles for us.

I did not keep an IEP draft for myself, because it's now going to be retyped and recopied for the whole team. Meanwhile, James has an awesome set of goals in place for him this coming year, and the work has already begun.

Can hardly wait for Part IV: Epilogue (in which I review the final format and call it good. Or not.)

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: True Spunk

2011-10-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

He'd already been through the morning routine and a day of school. Instead of going home, which is the usual Wednesday Routine, James was whisked into the van and onto a highway full of very bad traffic and construction work. For 65 miles and almost 2 hours.

Then he got to ride an elevator and meet strange people who knew his Mom way back when. He was exclaimed over and offered lemon and ginger ice cream. He took it all calmly and played on my smart phone. Then we made our way to a waiting area, where he broke down in tears and "Nooooo, Mommy!" until I let him shut himself inside the little playhouse and handed his snacks to him through the window. We waited about 15 minutes.

THEN, he was assessed by a physical therapist for almost 45 minutes. This is what he looked like toward the end of that session:

Then we went home. Except for the waiting room (pre-snack), I never saw him unhappy. This boy has True Spunk, and I love him so.

Come see what others have shared for their Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs. Add your special photos and add some pizazz to the middle of your week.

And while there are a couple of paragraphs on this page, the photos say more. Join the fun and see more stories at Wordless Wednesday

Tackle It Tuesday: Work Area

2011-10-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

This school year, both kids are ramping up in academics (grades 1 & 3). The breakfast table wasn't going to cut it anymore for homework. Only James' sister has a desk in her room, and it's rather snowed under by Squinkies, at present.

Over the summer, I knew some changes were in order. The kids needed a homework center. That meant the toy shelf needed to go. That make me weepy, because that's been our fun center for many years. It's lasted longer because James is a bit behind the developmental curve with toys and we keep inheriting cool new things (like the Disney Potato Head family and a very cool box full of characters from Monsters Inc, as well as the interactive Scare Floor).

Work Area Before:

However, it's been a worthwhile project. Over the summer, I found a used desk for $10 at the Salvation Army. The toy bookcase got moved in September, after we'd started settling into the new school year.

The new work area got set up recently. The kids are very excited to use the Homework Desk. Their calendars that they make in school get posted to the wall. Each of them has a folder for their homework and school notices. The lamp was on sale at WalMart (bulb included) for $9. A folding chair from the dump (about $1) with a pillow makes a great seat.

Markers, crayons, and paper moved out of the kitchen cabinets and into some desk drawers:

Lolli at 5 Minutes for Mom had the same challenge for her Tackle It Tuesday. What challenged you lately? Do you have an idea to share from your own homework center? Hop on over to share and view creativity on Tackle It Tuesday.

Magic Marker Monday: Cut Ups

2011-10-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

Our experiments with cutouts continue. And now we're getting a little ... free-form.

Exhibit A: The Cow Thing?


James brought this home from school. I don't know what it is, but I like it!

James' sister is on a roll and doing everything on her own. Wow!

She saves the cut-outs for negative space art.
Maybe the Mary Blair exhibit at Disneyland wore off on her?

Love the secret hidden message ...

... and extra picture!

Total Grrrrl Art

To see some fun seasonal arts and crafts, or to share some of your own,
visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

IEP, Part II

2011-10-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Met last week with James' Services Coordinator to continue and wrap up James' IEP. She'd had time to meet with his aide and teacher before our sit down. There was that pesky behaviour report to sort through and distill into goals and measurables, remember.

The meeting started with a recap of behviours covered in the outside therapist's report that had also been observed in the classroom (which was almost all of them). Basically, when left with unstructured (and unsupervised) time, James responds by wandering, bumping, and misusing common objects to get attention from others. A related issue is that it can be difficult to keep James focused on a task that does not involve computers, although once he starts a worksheet or a reading assignment, he will work steadily, but with constant prompting.

One of the goals we discussed looks like they will be for James to remain seated through tasks with a minimum of prompting 80% of the time. The other will probably be for James to choose from a selection of activities or items from a sensory box to self-regulate during unstructured time.

Great schedulers from sayitright.org

Tools and visual aids mentioned in the report were then reviewed and weighed. The visual scheduler has been helpful in the past, but has been difficult to integrate in this year's classroom setting. The countdown clock, on the other hand, has been extremely effective for James. The Behavioural Therapist suggested coming up with a clipboard of activities that James can choose from for unstructured time. I like this idea for both home and school, and hope it will be another useful tool.

We discussed how James was doing with his classwork. Pretty well, it turns out. He's aced three spelling tests and knows his numbers up to at least 100. He is in the lowest reading group in the class, but is one of the better readers in that group. His writing has improved enormously over the summer and he can now use the classroom paper instead of a blank or specially ruled sheet. He is extremely motivated to work with his class and is getting very good about asking for what he needs to keep up with the pace of the day.

Grade 1 math

"More" and "less" are pretty confusing for him, and I am working to get him to recognize plus and minus signs, and what they mean in math. James' teacher has sent home a math workbook so I continue to work on math with him at home. She checks in with me almost every week via email, letting me know the good and needs work highlights as they come up.

Every time I talk with someone on James' support team, I learn new things. That morning, I learned that it was unusual for a teacher to take on a full inclusion student as one of her regular kids and follow along with his goals and progress so closely as James' teacher is doing this year. We've been fortunate to have had teachers for James who observed and included him as much as possible in the classroom setting that I guess I took it a bit for granted, even though I was happy it was happening.

I lost track of how much time we met -- easily a half hour and probably over that. There's still more -- now comes my review and final comments before signing off. Almost there!

Countdown clock from zedomax.com

SOOC: Halloweening

2011-10-22T22:11:00.000-07:00

This year, James has been anticipating Halloween with great excitement. Almost every day he asks if we are going Trick-or-Treating tonight. His sister keeps showing him on their calendars how many more days until the big event. Last night, he practiced Trick-or-Treating before bedtime with his sister.

The really big thing James has been looking for is Halloween decoration on houses. As reported, I haven't seen early as many as in years past, but thank goodness more and more people are getting into the spirit and decorating their homes. Every day, we drive or walk around and look for more decorations.

This weekend, we added to our own with a test carved pumpkin by James' Big Sister. While she was carving, I got distracted by all the orange hues in the pumpkin innards and shell.

Late to the party but enjoying another week of participating in the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog. Come on over to see more or join in!

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Beach

2011-10-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, we went with friends to Natural Bridges State Park, where we enjoyed a picnic lunch, hiked to see the Monarch Butterflies, and spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach. James' Dad captured some great moments. Wow, we had a great time!

Come see what others have shared for their Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs. Add your special photos and add some pizazz to the middle of your week.

And while there are a couple of sentences on this page, the photos say more. Join the fun and see more stories at Wordless Wednesday

Car Tracks

2011-10-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

We have new tunes for the morning trek around Sonoma County as I drop the kids off at their schools.

#1: The Swisskapolka. I kid you not. It could be worse, and on a good day, it makes me want to polka.

#2: The soundtrack for King Arthur's carousel. If you don't know where it is, never mind.

#3: Theme to Tarzan, wild animals and all!

#4: Ride sound system for California Screamin'. Best if I can time the countdown part to finish just as I hit a hill.

Just around this bend is The BEST rollercoaster hill!

And when the kids are gone? I put on Soarin' Over California.

Good thing we love Disney.

Magic Marker Monday: Calendars

2011-10-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Our home budget is constantly shrinking these days. We've let go of "live" TV, shop thrift stores, and have garage & lemonade sales. So when I went to look for the current year for our big kitchen calendar, the $15 price tag was too much. Time to get creative!

I bought a big pad of newsprint at the Dollar Store and used a ruler and pencil to evenly mark columns and rows for each month. Then I used the $1 set of 10 Crayola markers from the back-to-school Target sales to outline the grid and create custom monthly pages.

I checked the correct days of the month (and holidays) against an online calendar and the kids' school calendars. I used whatever ideas came into my head and asked the kids for theirs when I got stuck. I took a few half-hour sessions all spread out on the kitchen floor to make the whole year. The kids were fascinated. We ended up with a nice big calendar for the kitchen that cost $2 in materials.

Even better, both the kids now make monthly calendars in school. It's a great way for my 6 year-old to practice his numbers and my almost 9 year-old to practice her writing. I hang theirs up near the Homework Desk:

Best of all:

For more great masterpieces or to share some of your own, visit
5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Magic Marker Monday.

Candy Mountains

2011-10-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

I think James is starting to get interested in candy. This is a pretty big change.

He's wanted to try some before, but then whatever it was got spat right out with a "No thank you, Mommy." Until last night.

He wanted to try some candy corn that I gave his sister for dessert. I gave him one and waited with a napkin for it to be rejected. Instead, he came back for more.

More? You want ... more?

I checked with "Do you want more candy corn, James?"

"No, Mommy, I want the mountains," he said.

Well, okay. I guess they do look like candy mountains.

Personally, I thought they looked more like teeth. But then, what do I know?

SOOC: Saturday Snippets

2011-10-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

What could be more appropriate to Straight Out of Camera (SOOC) than snippets straight out of our Saturday so far? Caveat -- these are all from my Droid phone.

Sunrise over the back fence.

Morning coffee and relaxation.
Kids have their breakfasts and are watching "Corpse Bride."

After coffee, back inside, KJS School in action.
It's reading time.

Skeletor smackdown.
Go, Pokey (and your weird yoga victory pose)!
One of the best things about having kids is walking into a room and seeing things like this.

Speaking of Victory ...
our fridge has never been so decorated.

Found this little present on the floor.
The dominoes are never used as a game.


Put my Droid phone down to get at the kitchen. Someone decided to capture the blanket.


And this one? Is just a mystery. Actually, I know it's James' fingers over the lens, but it's a nice little abstract that unexpectedly appeared on my screen.

Falling into another week of participating in the SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog. Come on over to see more or join in!

Dangling Participle, or: IEP Cliffhanger

2011-10-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

So a team of six (myself included) met this week for James' annual IEP. An hour was allotted. We talked for an hour and a half. We're still not done.

One of the reasons the meeting went so long was that we all had a lot to share and say; the atmosphere was friendly and relaxed, yet professional. James has met all but one of his goals from last year, and we were all excited that the ground he gained opened up new areas for goals.

We hit a snag on the last goal, which was tied to behaviour in class. We discussed the heck out of that one and referred to a therapist's report and still had to adjourn without consensus. We all acknowledge there is a goal or two in there that needs work.

It reminds me of a dangling participle (or cliff hanger, if you are not fascinated with grammar):
"The antecedent—that is, the noun to which the participle refers—must be clear to the readers in order for them to understand what's being said. Otherwise, an action may be subscribed to the wrong player. That's called a 'dangling participle,' because it's left 'dangling' without a clear antecedent."
(Ta, USU!)

I think the next step is to identify the desired behaviour and then work to support it. It sounds like that will be to get him to stay seated and focus on work for longer periods of time and more independently. The motivator is a mystery. The Behaviourist made suggestions that the teacher and aide say they have tried, but do not find effective. Motivating James ... now there's a subject to explore!

To be continued ... (like his IEP meeting)

Pre-IEP Stress Drive

2011-10-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

James' annual Individual Education Plan (IEP) is this week. While I am less frantic this year, it is still a stressful time for me. I want to make sure we're setting the best goals for James, so he gets the best support in the areas he needs. The information from the IEP will be used in regular school among his teacher, aide, coordinator, speech therapist, OT, and Adaptive P.E. (APE) personnel. It will also be used for summer school. That's a lot of time and people to cover.

cool shirt from Zazzle.com

I know the goals can be modified and changed. I also know that, technically speaking, I can call an IEP meeting earlier than next year. I still want to feel like I've done my homework and am bringing the best goals to the table for him.

What's involved? Boatloads of paperwork from the school (last year's IEP document, approximately 13 pages), reports from 2 O/Ts, 1 P/T, 1 APE, Behaviourist, Speech & Language Therapist, Aide, Coordinator, Teacher, and parents. My stack going in weighs a good 2-3 pounds.

I've already had a half-hour pre-meeting with the teacher and services coordinator to go over James' strengths and challenges. He's still behind academically, socially, and verbally, but he constantly is improving in all areas so that he's now very close to grade level. Yowza!

James' annual IEP meeting is scheduled for an hour. I tend to run right up to the time limit, and a little over. I tend to listen first, refer to the bullet points I've noted before and during the meeting, and then make sure all those items get covered in the way that seems best for James.

I frequently do not sign the IEP until I've reviewed it for at least a day. Things tend to sink into my subconsciousness and rise later. I don't think any big disageement's ever needed to be addressed after the meeting, but I like room to review and reflect.

It's a lot of work. It's for James. We are lucky -- he has a good team behind him.

Special Exposure / Wordless Weds: Special Afternoon

2011-10-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

A local organization, Becoming Independent, sponsored a children's party at Traintown last weekend. They gave away tickets to special needs children and their siblings. James and his sister were two of the lucky winners. Although we were late (huge behavioural meltdown by James just before we were set to walk out the door), we were able to join in and enjoy a very special afternoon.

Here are some highlights:

What did he talk about that night at bedtime?


Balloons!

Thank you, Becoming Independent, for some wonderful memories of a very special afternoon!

Come see what others have shared for their Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs. Add your special photos and add some pizazz to the middle of your week.

And while there are a couple of paragraphs on this page, the photos say more. Join the fun and see more stories at Wordless Wednesday

Preparing for Halloween

2011-10-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

For the first time, both kids are excited about Halloween. James asks every day if we are going Trick-or-Treating tonight. Just this week he's started asking if we can look at decorations. We've gone out to look, but decorations are scarce so far.

I think part of the reason they are so excited this year is because they had fun the last two years around our house, and therefore have good memories to make them anticipate what's to come. Also? Last year we were in SoCal for a few family events this time last year, and I was able to take them to the first ever Mickey's Trick-or-Treat party at Disneyland. Now there's a place that knows how to throw a party!

Funds are short, but I think we can pull together some decorations of our own from things we mostly have around the house / yard. Here's what I am thinking, Kids can help me cut out eyes, faces, and bats from a roll of butcher paper. We can acrylic paint it black and tape it over our big windows for an effect like this:

One of our scarecrows is falling apart. James has been asking about skeletons (they are using x-ray slides, black paper & Q-Tips to make their own at school). Hmmmm, I'll be I can swing something like this:

And finally, we can do something with the think plant pole in the front yard, where a tree (which was so excellent for Halloween and Xmas decor) used to be:

As for costumes, James is currently leaning toward being Willie Wonka (a la Tim Burton & Johnny Depp). His sister wants to be a witch. Kiki, specifically. She is so excited that she dressed up her doll as an Indian Princess:

Loving it!

Sonoma Field Trip

2011-10-10T07:32:00.000-07:00

Guess where we went yesterday?

Yes! Traintown in Sonoma.

We had a lovely "field trip," as James called it. The weather was beautiful and after the first hour or so, the kids really got excited about running around and exploring. The drive through Sonoma Valley was absolutely gorgeous.

Sunday Foggy Morning Muffin Run

2011-10-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

James and I awoke ... rather forcefully and early this morning. The whole house was full of that muffled silence that ground fog outside somehow brings and spreads with its mist. So we set forth for coffee and muffins at the local Peets. It's been a while.

It was delighfully mysterious outside. James kept telling me about the things he saw out the window, and then asked if we could go see Halloween decorations. That sounded like fun, so off we went.

Normally, there are two housing tracts that are chock full of decorations, each vying to be more overboard than the rest. This year ... well, there's not much out there. And we saw more of the low-end decorations than anything else. Man, this economy's brutal.

So we're going to put up our decorations and show some spirit (ha-ha) ourselves. Well-fortified with muffins and coffee, of course.

Revelling in Roald Dahl

2011-10-08T20:46:00.000-07:00

James' big sister is on a Roald Dahl streak. She discovered the animated version of "James and the Giant Peach" and loved it. I was looking for a new book to tempt her to a reading level higher than Junie B. Jones and brought out my copy of "Mathilda." She loved it. We spent several happy nights reading that together at bedtime. Then I found the movie in VHS format for $1, so both kids watched it many times, howling with laughter.

Knowing her interest in magic, witches, and irreverent humour, I next brought home "The Witches" from our local library. I didn't know if it might be too scary -- but no, she loved that one too, each and every night. Then she found my Tim Burton version of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and had to watch it. She likes that plenty too.

James has been quietly absorbing this. There are nights when he's in bed but still awake when I start reading bedtime stories to his sister. He rarely lets me read to him, but he loves listening one room away to us reading together - go figure. He has enjoyed the movies and insisted on watching them.

By far his favourite is the Tim Burton movie, and allllll the Special Features. He's started to quote from the movie, hums the Agustus Gloop song, and dance around with the Oompa-Loompas. He introduces himself as Willie Wonka (and now wants to be him for Halloween) and will watch that film 5 times a day, if we didn't stop him. Today he got hold of my phone camera and took a picture while the movie was playing:

You should have seen the glee on his face!

Mr Burton, how young do you accept interns and apprentices? You have a huge fan boy here on the west coast. And thank you, Roald Dahl, for knowing and sharing.

P.S.: I can hardly wait to see how they like "Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator" somewhere down the road. Those vermicious knids are awesome. And they can spell, too.

SOOC: Spider Morning

2011-10-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

It's definitely Fall. We've had three rainstorms pass through, knocking down the heat and dust of the previous weeks. The leaves are wet and make that spicy smell that happens when the first big batch get blown and beaten to the ground. The sun comes up later. There's more chill in the air. Halloween is right around the corner.

I came out to feed the cat this morning and went right back in for the camera. It was a spider morning in the sparkling sunrise:

Yikes! I am torn between admiration and mortification. It looks like the Addams Family's backyard.

Here's a shot of one of the bigger arachnid artists -- about 2 inches and smack in front of the playhouse, which has become more like a chair storage unit:

Even our cat matches the Halloween theme:

"Spiders are not yummy. Bring me Real Fud!"

What a difference to come inside and check in on my early riser:

All photos are SOOC and low rez (thanks to my son, who changed my camera's settings on me once again). To see some more awesome SOOC action, or share some of yours, visit SOOC action at Marvelous Mommy's blog: