Saturday, April 28, 2012


It's challenging for me to write during hard times, like now.

Money is a constant worry. My consulting jobs have dried up and I am still trying to get payment on my last invoices for last year. My daughter is moving towards teen years and while I am proud of who she is, I miss the little girl she used to be. James will be leaving his cozy K-1 school of the past two years and launch into a new 2-3 campus next year across town. No more walking to the school just down the street from us. That's a whole nostalgic post on its own.

The hardest to cope with, right now, is losing people. Since this year started, I have had to say goodbye to two close family members, and my husband lost a long-time friend to cancer. Over the last two weeks alone, two people not much older than I suddenly left this life. One I knew from all our time hanging out at the pool -- we will miss his cheerful presence. The other is the husband of a good friend. My heart aches for her and their boys.

This friend came to our house to help us work with James soon after he was assessed by North Bay Regional Center, before his official diagnosis. That is how we started to get to know each other. We started getting together for coffee and a chance to talk as moms, wives, and friends. I admire her big heart and the wonderful job she has done raising her two boys on the autism spectrum. She helped me be an advocate for James. She helped me to find work. My husband went through a really big health scare last December. I flash back to those weeks I went through on my own and my heart goes out to her even more.

I've been through hard times. I know they won't be forever. But they can stop me in my tracks, and make it difficult to deal with everyday things.

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